"I love you."
Those three words had him fucked. Why the Hell would he say that?
Fluffy, Omar and myself hid behind the bushes with a clear view of that idiot being an idiot.
Today, Kayd had decided he would tell Elise that he loved her. We had no clue how she would respond. The only thing we did know was that he wouldn't be satisfied with the answer.
After a roughly estimated five minutes, Elise walked away and left Kayd standing in the centre of the park, seemingly distraught and heartbroken.
The three of us emerged from the bushes and each gave Kayd a firm slap on the back.
"Ah, the poor guy," Omar sighed.
"Hehehe, you got rejected," Fluffy laughed.
"Stop being so insensitive," I said, punching Fluffy on the shoulder. I snickered afterwards, despite how badly I tried to hold it in.
"I didn't get rejected, you idiots," Kayd snapped as he collapsed onto a nearby bench.
"So then what did happen?"
"Well, as you guys clearly just saw, Elise walked off after I confessed. She didn't say no because she doesn't like me back," he sighed. "She said no because apparently she's pursuing some real relationship type shit with Nate."
The three of us, Fluffy, Omar and myself burst into raucous laughter upon processing Kayd's explanation.
"What the fuck are you niggas laughing at?" He snapped.
"You and this Nate guy need to sort your issues out," Omar laughed.
"Yeah, ever since that pizza thing we did, he's been all you ever talk about," I agreed.
"Well, obviously he'd be! He's my fucking romantic rival!" Kayd tried to reason.
"You're the only one who senses this romantic rival thing," I laughed.
"Fluffy... bro... you feel it too, right?" He asked.
Fluffy didn't respond but he did laugh as though he'd heard the world's first joke.
"Okay, I think it's best if you just go home and take a long shower," Omar level-headedly suggested.
Kayd sat on the bench in quiet contemplation when, suddenly, some kind of light bulb went off in his head.
"Omar! I could do that or I help Elise realise what a douche Nate is!"
"Let me guess," Fluffy began. "You want to cockblock, don't you?"
"I don't want to cockblock. We want to cockblock!" He exclaimed.
"No way, Kayd. Can't we just leave them in peace?" I asked.
"Could John Cena just sit down and leave Brock Lesnar to have the WWE Championship? Could Goku just sit back at let Cell kick everyone's asses?"
"Actually, he kinda did," I pointed out.
"Hush, fool! That's not the point!"
"I'm just say-"
"I said hush, bitch!" He screamed.
"Listen, K, would you like it if some guy tried to screw up your relationship?" Omar asked.
"Somebody is fucking up my relationship, though!"
"ELISE. IS NOT. YOURS!" Fluffy screamed as he shook Kayd by the shoulders.
"Please, guys! I'm only asking this one favour of you! Please!" Begged Kayd.
"I don't know, bro..."
"Pleeeeeeaaaaaase!"
"Fine," I sighed. "Just this once and, after we do it, you stop acting like a fucktard, okay?"
"Yes! Thank you! Okay! This is the plan. Omar, you're gonna talk to Elise and find out where Nate plans to take her. After he tells you where, convince him to take her to Domino's! Elise hates Domino's!"
"Okay, I've got it," Omar said with a thumbs up.
"Fluffy... Eddy... I'll need you two to aim for the balls. Make sure that you blackball the fuck out of Nate! Make him look horrible in her eyes! Got it?"
"Got it," Fluffy and I sighed in unison.
The four of us split up, Fluffy and I obviously heading the same way.
As we rushed down the street in order to catch up with Elise, him and I hoped she hadn't gotten that far ahead of us. We caught a glimpse of her up the road ahead and, after a few moments of sprinting, we caught up to her.
"Elise!" I called out.
"Wait up!" Fluffy yelled.
She turned around with a confused look on her face that cleared up upon her realising who we were.
"What are you guys doing here?" She asked.
"We were just walking down the street and we saw you and decided to run and catch up so we would walk with you," Fluffy explained. It wasn't a lie, rather being more of a half truth.
"Um, well, I guess we're walking together, then," she said.
"So," I casually began. "Any plans for the night? I doubt a party animal like you would stay in on a Friday night."
"Oh, yeah, you're right," she smiled. "Nate is taking me out, tonight."
"You aren't the only one who might get taken out tonight," mumbled Fluffy under his breath.
"What was that?" Elise asked.
"Oh, nah, it was nothing," I lied as I punched Fluffy as inconspicuously as possible.
We carried on walking down the street and realised our window of slanderous opportunity was slowly but surely closing. I realised this and began to pick up my game.
"You know, I hear Nate once made out with his sister. And not even a normal kiss! It was tongue and all!"
"Yeah, I heard that, too," chirped Fluffy. "And I also heard that he's heavy on cocaine and stuff."
"Guys, what's going on here?" Elise asked.
"We dunno," Fluffy said. "You should be asking Nate. He's the one with all the unanswered questions."
"It's Kayd, isn't it? He put you two fuckfaces up to this, right?"
"What?" Fluffy exclaimed.
"No ways! Kayd is too nice for that," I dishonestly justified.
"Well, then, I guess you two are dumber than I thought. And don't bother following me. I'll choke you with your vocal chords if you do. Okay? Okay," she said as she turned the corner smiling with a demonic aura exerting from her tiny frame.
Damn. She was way too scary.
Fluffy and I stood on the sidewalk, petrified in fear. There was an awkward cough between the two of us as we struggled to regain control of ourselves.
"So... I take it we failed?" I asked.
"Yep."
"Okay, so I guess we've technically done our part. I guess the rest is up to Omar until tonight," I sighed.
"Let's go," said Fluffy as he took off in direction of his house.
From then on, I could only pray that the Lord would save this already damned plan... but was it already beyond the power of a saviour?
