I knocked. There was no answer. I knocked again. There was no way that this bastard was still asleep.
I twisted the handle to his door since he wouldn't open up on his own. Upon laying my eyes on his room, I wasn't too surprised. Sheets of paper were lying everywhere and an a locked laptop. He was probably up watching anime or some romcom crap as usual.
"Yo, Kayd! Wake up," I said, raising my voice to make sure he heard me.
Muffled grunts emerged from the head under the pillows. He heard me.
"If you don't get up now, we'll be late for the movie. Elise would love to see you there, don't you think?"
"Dick!"
And with that insult came a flying pillow that gave a soft thud as it knocked my head.
I stepped out of the room, mumbling vulgar cuss words as I took a seat on the couch and waited.
Roughly 25 minutes passed until he was ready, yet my patience had held up.
"You managed to sleep through the entire day," I sighed as Kayd appeared in the doorframe of his room.
"Bitch, I was tired, okay?" He responded.
"Jizzbag," I said with a scowl.
"Undergrown Shit Tub!"
Yep, this wasn't your standard friendship. This was pure, douchebag friendship at its finest.
"Now that I think about it, who the Hell let you in my house, Ed?"
"I caught your mother on her way out. She said I could come in and wait for you," I explained as I stood up with my bag still hanging from it's single strap hold on my shoulder.
"I should charge you with breaking and entering," he said with a straight face.
With that, the two of us stepped out the house, Kayd having locked the door behind us. The familiar sound of chirping birds could be heard as usual. The birds that never died. The damn birds were always there to chirp their asses off. I'd burn their nests if I could but, to he honest, I found it pretty funny.
"You're mother is giving us a ride? Bruh, get a license," groaned Kayd.
"Um, where's yours again?" I asked.
"In my other pants," he responded sarcastically.
We got into my mother's car and she drove us to one of the nearby shopping malls so we could meet the rest of the group at the movies. We hadn't decided what we would watch yet but that was a trivial matter which wouldn't take too much thought.
Upon arrival, Kayd and I immediately spotted Fluffy (nicknamed that because of his excess body fur. His name was actually Tristan.) who was rubbing his neck, seemingly in pain.
"Yo, Fluff, what happened to your neck?" I asked as the three of us exchanged handshakes.
"Oh, yeah, I tried doing a front flip?"
"On the ground?" asked Kayd.
"Nah, probably on a trampoline, right, bro?"
"No... on my bed," he revealed with a sheepish grin. "I don't wanna die!"
Kayd and I erupted into laughter with Fluffy following suit not long after. The stares we got didn't matter, we already knew we were retards.
The next to arrive was Omar, Elise's High Five Buddy. We conversed amongst ourselves until Priv and Elise arrived. We all knew Sage wouldn't be coming since he was probably in a bed with his latest triumph but it was what it was.
This group being in the same place at the same time was rare... extremely rare. Kayd was the control freak, Elise was the Satan, Priv was the sweeper (more on that later), Omar was the lowkey dick and Fluffy was... yeah... I was just that guy that somehow ended up in the circle.
"So, guys, what are we watching?" Asked Priv, adjusting his glasses as he spoke.
"I'll watch whatever you guys watch, I guess," said Omar. "I don't really care."
"I still haven't seen Deadpool. Why not that?" I asked.
"Some of us have already seen it," came a response.
"Batman vs. Superman?" Suggested Fluffy.
"I'm down," agreed Kayd as well as Priv.
We entered the cinema, popcorn buttered and drinks in hand. Fluffy came loaded, however. He found it too mainstream to buy your food from the cinema so brought his own instead, in the form of a Twix, a bag of Doritos chips and even a Mountain Dew.
"Fluffy, you cheap ass nigga," laughed Kenny.
"Don't judge me," he said as he passionately devoured two Oreos that had been given to him by Omar. It was the most sensual eating experience I had ever seen as he inhaled the Oreos as if he were a whale shark.
"Fluffy, this is why we can't let you have nice things," sighed Omar.
"Omar, why are you so damn talkative today?" scowled Fluffy, his mouth full of Oreo.
The screen lit up as the movie began. It was an unpleasant experience at best. Kayd spoke nonstop and sadly, I kept responding. Fluffy was the dick who could never chew his quietly. I sat next to those two bastards and despite my politeness in asking to switch seats, Omar still refused being the lowkey dick that he was.
The movie ended, me having barely enjoyed it. We stepped outside, now wondering what to do next until Fluffy got a text. He read it in silence, facepalming upon its completion. It was as if I could sense the Illiteracy in that text from the aura of hatred that Fluffy now exuded.
"Guys..." he began.
"Yeah," we all replied in unison.
"And I quote, 'If you think about it, rhinos are actually fat unicorns who are ugly cause they haven't seen a treadmill in a while'. Somebody shoot my phone."
"Don't tell me it was that fucktard, Jumbo," sighed Elise.
"It could only be Jumbo... that dense motherfucker," sighed Kayd.
"I really wish the birth control had worked on that thing," scowled Elise as we stared in awe of her savage manner. Elise was truly and honestly one of the most monstrous people I knew.
"What?" She asked, as if oblivious to savage creature she had just revealed herself to be.
"Priv burst into laughter, even having spat out the Coke he was drinking at that moment.
We all followed suit, raucously laughing as we moved on to explore the rest of the mall...
Day. Made.
