"so... brea, what brings you here?" doctor kineck asked. ws he seriously going to play dumb with me? he knew exactly why i was here. sometimes this guy made me so mad.
"dont play dumb, you know exactly why im here."
"look, i warned you that it would get worse. i told you the only way, to give up that life would be the pills. but you refused to listen to me. and now here you are, so why dont you tell me what happend?" he snapped back at me. i wanted to argue and say he was wrong, but i knew he was right.
"fine. so remember when i told you that i could tell the difference when i was living each life? well.. i cant anymore. sometimes ill do things, that arent okay in this world thinking its the other world. and.. two nights ago, my best friend leanne. you know the one i told you about? well... she committed suicide," i started to cry, "i guess she couldnt take living two lives anymore. and now, the dream world is so cold and lonely. and i keep hoping that she was just playing a trick, and that shell come back... but she doesnt. and i cant tell my mom why im so sad, or anyone else i know. none of them are in it. i dont know what to do anymore."
"brea, do you know what happens when you die in dream life?" he asked, with a very serious face. it looked like he was about to tear apart my world.
"no..."
"you die in this life two. yes, we are living two lives, but we still only have one body. if we die in that world, we die here too, and vice versa."
"wait... you mean the leanne from this world is gone too? so, i wont ever be able to get her back? thats not fair!"
"i know its not brea. but there isnt anything we can do. just keep going. keep on fighting. it will get better. maybe youll make a new friend in both your worlds. one life is hard enough for most people, but your living two. cut yourself some slack. things will get better," he put his hand on my shoulder trying to comfort me. in this moment, i wished i could run. from this world, and dream world. most people can take a break from life while they sleep, but i am filled with another life, with more problems. i have no where to run to. i can avoid the problems in this life, or the ones in the next. now what am i supposed to do? as much as i wanted to believe what the doctor was saying, i knew it would never get better. it would only get worse. soon, i wont even know which world is which, i wont even be able to tell the difference between the two. i really just need a break from this world. and i know, the next world, wont be much better, but this is too much right now.
"im going to go. thank you." i said and stood up.
"brea, wait. just think about the medication. itll make things better."
"no it wont, itll kill half of me. maybe youre okay with losing a part of yourself to make things easier. but im not. i would like to know what goes on, in both my worlds. so stop offering me medications to make this better, im fine, its fine." i snapped and left. the reason i left before was because he repeatedly asked me to take the medications. i dont need medications to make this problem go away. i dont want one of my lives to be gone, i just want to atleast be happy in one. dream world, seems to be harder right now. but i just need a break from this life right now. as soon as my head hit the pillow, my second life began to unfold.
