I just want to say a few things before I start this chapter. This song by Watsky kind of hit home for me, it seemed
to explain everything I've been trying to say to myself when I can't find the proper words. But I just really really wanted to share this song with you guys....
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The rain fell harmonically on the window pane to your bedroom. The sharp patter of each drop sounded like the voices in my head, pounding on their own drums to protect their opinion. The door to my shared apartment swung open to reveal a blond haired man. His blank expression written across his face looked blank but in a depressed way.
"What's wrong, Dirk." I said bluntly instead of a question.
"Nothing, Y/N." He stated coldly, I could nearly see the frost lifting from his pale lips.
"That's not an answer. Now tell me."
"Don't pry, not today." Dirk said sharply.
"I want to help. Now, just tell me." You said with a concerned tone laced tightly through your words.
"Just stop, okay?" He shouted with anger and misdirected pain. "You don't know how it is. How life can go on without you but you know THAT YOU DIDN'T TRY HARD ENOUGH TO SAVE THOSE HOW ACTUALLY MATTERED."
"I WENT THROUGH THIS WITH YOU, DIRK. I KNOW EXACTLY HOW LIFE IS GOING ON KNOWING THAT THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE TO DO." You said, voice raising as your words became dampened with a sad tone and your eyebrows knit together. "AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF YOU DRAG YOURSELF DOWN BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO GO."
"MAYBE I WANT TO LEAVE. MAYBE I WANT TO GIVE UP!" Dirk yelled as you came closer to him, you could smell the salt coming off of his tears.
"CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M JUST AS BROKEN AS YOU ARE?!? I LOST JANE, ROXY, AND JAKE JUST LIKE YOU DID. DON'T YOU DARE THINK THAT YOU'RE SPECIAL WHEN IT COMES TO GRIEF." You scream while your fists banged on his chest. You planted your head into his chest and started sobbing. "I don't want to give up on you, Dirk. I can't give up on you. When I lost them, I lost you too. Why can't you see that even if I forget your name, forget everything you stand for, I'll always be by your side." You wrapped your arms around his waist, circling him in a tight embrace. But what really shocked you was how he returned the hug without hesitation.
"I won't let you go, Y/N." He said, voice cracking with heart and regret. You both knew that things were hard, they were always going to seem to get worse each time. But at least you knew that you weren't alone.
