I Wanna Be Your Lover, Baby I Wanna Be Your Man

~*Chapter 1*~

Manhattan is hot. Like, ridiculously, unacceptably hot, and Louis feels like he's drenched in sweat. It's not a good look on him, mostly because he's covered from head to toe in white and his uniform feels disgustingly thick against his damp skin. And to top it off, he has his stupid fucking cap on, hair matted against his forehead because of the heat.

Sailors are attractive, yes, but when they come in thousands - all of them dressed almost exactly the same - to an already overcrowded city, there's nothing good about them. And there's definitely nothing about Louis' sweaty balls and stupid cap that help him stand out in any positive way. He's just another sweltering, never-quite-drunk-enough sailor in a mass of white.

The way Louis sees it, Manhattan is like a fish tank during Fleet Week; a fish tank filled with the most beautiful fish of the sea. Drunk, happy, sexually frustrated and embarrassingly patriotic fish that are treated like royalty for seven days straight. And then there's Louis, the last one off the ship and the metaphorical shrimp at the bottom of the metaphorical fish tank of the metaphorical sea.

"I hate being on land," he hisses as he steps onto the pier.

Niall's waiting for him a few feet behind the rest of their group, but Louis doesn't feel like speeding up and doing his closest friend any favors.

"I hate land and I hate summer and I hate this stupid fucking city."

Niall laughs wildly when Louis reaches him at his snail pace and throws an arm around him. "Quit your bitching, Tommo. We've been in the greatest city in the world for five minutes and you've already got me plotting your death. That's a new record for you, man."

"Yes, well, New York always brings out the best in me," Louis huffs sarcastically, shrugging Niall's arm off him. It's already boiling hot, he could do without Niall's insistent body heat and life-threatening affection.

But Niall's not having any of his shit today.

"You need to get fucked well and proper before we leave, Louis. I refuse to let you back on the ship with that giant damn stick up your sorry ass. You should take advantage of this week for once in your life."

Louis turns around and glances one last time at their beautiful ship, the USS Happily. It's been home for far too many years now, with her hazy blue hue and long length, and a week without her isn't impossible, but trading the sea and the open skies for overcrowded Manhattan is. Sometimes Louis thinks that he was probably a fish or a mermaid or even a bird in his past life, the way he feels when he's in the water. Definitely not a shrimp, though. He may be the metaphorical shrimp, but he was definitely at least a damn mermaid in a previous life. Sharks are pretty cool. Maybe he was a-

"Are you even listening to me?"

Louis twists his head back to Niall, quickly noticing from the corner of his eye the rest of their group beginning to load onto their bus towards the hotel.

"You always tune me out when you look at that ship, man, what the fuck-"

"If I listened to every word you said I would have jumped ship long ago, Ni, Jesus." He grabs Niall's wrist, quickly shutting him up. "Now come on, the faster we get to the hotel the faster this week is over."

Louis knows from experience that that is most definitely not true, but it helps to lie to himself a bit, he's learned.

"Maybe they'll have a pool, yeah?"

And even he can hear the way his voice raises in excitement when he speaks.

"If you spend all our free time in a pool I swear to God I'm going to-"

"No time for empty threats, Horan!" Louis shouts as he begins to run, dragging Niall behind him. "We've gotta get ourselves well and proper fucked!"

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