Silence

Chapter 6

Evelyn's POV

I stared at my arms and legs.

Tomorrow was a hot day but I would have to wear pants and a long sleeved shirt that would cover my arms and my hands so that no one would see my bloody, deep gashes. I always had to wear pants and a long-sleeved shirt because of my awful scars. I didn't want anyone to see the scars of my pain. The pain I go through. Everyday. The pain I want to keep hidden. The pain I'm too scared to show.

I sneak outside and go to the park. There is a place in the park that is always quiet. It's under a big tree, facing away from the quiet noise of the park. It's surrounded by bushes and it makes me feel like I'm in my own little world.

I sit there, leaning against the dark trunk of the big tree, and breathe. I try not to think much about my life. It just hurts. Because there's nothing good in it. It's just full of pain and sadness.

Instead, I daydream things that are completely impossible. Like my toes lifting off the ground as I fly through the stifling air and up to where the air tells me I'm free. The wind in my hair as I soar above everything. I don't look down. I just look straight ahead. At the clouds.

I imagine the clouds can be laid on. And that's what I do. I lay on them and feel the fluffy white surround me in safety. Much more comfortable than where I sleep at home.

Then I lift off the clouds and fly somewhere very far away. Across the ocean. To a new country. A beautiful country. I didn't know which country it was. But it was green and gorgeous and the sky's air was fresh and crisp. My shirt and hair waved in the wind and I felt free.

I landed on the ground and took in the green grass. There wasn't a person in sight. Just me in moist green grass with luscious trees sprinkled everywhere. I took a deep breath and let the calmness and the freedom overwhelm me.

Those thoughts take half of my mind off the pain of my life.

After a couple hours of sitting still I go back home and sneak to my room. I cry into my pillow from the aching pain of my cuts and hollowness in my heart. The hollowness I wanted to fill but couldn't.

I remembered the boy, Noah, who had talked to me today. He's not too bad as far as people go. He was pretty nice. And damn, he was so cute. But what strikes me the most about him is his blue eyes that seem to convey this kind of understanding. This understanding and care that I've never seen before. I wouldn't talk to him though. I wouldn't talk to anyone. I haven't talked in 10 years. Yeah, that's right. 10 years. What would happen if I do talk? Would my voice be strong or would it be weak and shaky. Or would there even be one?

The next day I walked to school. I had black pants on and a black long sleeved shirt that dangled past my hands. I walk in to school and observed that everyone's wearing shorts and t shirts or tank tops. I heard someone say to the person they were walking with, "why is she wearing pants and a long-sleeved shirt? It's so crazy hot!"

I looked down at the ground during lunch trying to get to my tree. My desperate attempt at not making eye contact with anyone was punished by running into someone. The force knocked me down and the boy calls "Watch where you're going."

He touched me

He made me fall.

I froze on the ground like an ice berg

Memories of yesterday and the day before and every day of my life came flooding back. My sorry excuse for a mother hurting every part of me. My ridiculous excuse for a father breaking every part of me.

Then I stood up.

And I ran.

I ran as fast as I could. I couldn't be hurt here too. I couldn't be hurt at school and at home. No. I can't. It's too much. It's everywhere. I can't escape.