"It's going to be different from now on, I promise,"
That was the last thing I remember Layla telling me last night as she cradled me in her arms and rocked me to sleep. It felt like the times when me and mum used to cuddle up when the heating ran out and mum couldn't afford to put money on the gas. She would hold my head to her chest as she hummed a different tune from our yesterdays with that soothing voice of hers. My mother's love was all the warmth I needed during these cold nights. My fingers would latch on to her soft mahogany brown curls as my journey to the dream world would near. And right before I drifted she would whisper, "I'll make it better for you and I, I promise." If only she knew that all I wanted was to hold her one more time.
The anger I felt towards Layla was slowly dissipating, through her I could somewhat feel my mother again.
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"You can't continue to let nan do that to you you know. Fight back," Layla had been scolding me all morning reminding me how pathetic I was for allowing our grandma to treat me the way she did. It wasn't easy standing up for myself especially to someone as intimidating as Stella. "Do you know why she can't do shit to me when I kick off?"
"Cause the government gives her money to keep us in her care, I know," I yawned wincing as the muscles around my mouth stretched, something didn't feel right. Instantly, I reached up to my face tracing around the newly printed fingers on my cheeks. I moaned internally.
"Yeah your face is fucked boy," Layla snorted while shaking her head. "Nothing a little make up couldn't sort out though."
"Yeah as if I have any," I kissed my teeth
finally finding the strength to get out of bed. My whole body felt drained.
"I'll let you use my make up,"
"You sure?" This was new, maybe the old Layla really was coming back.
"Yeah, it's no biggie," she flung her make up bag on my bed and my eyes lit up thinking about all the different brands she had in there. I wasn't sure how to use make up but I had watched a lot of tutorials on YouTube which had me dying to try out some of those styles.
"Thank you so much Lay," that used to be the nickname I'd call her when we were on better terms. I saw a small smile crack on her face and it felt genuine.
"Look, if I was to give you some money today you have to promise me something," Layla wiggled her eyebrows playfully and from that moment, I knew I was screwed.
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"No man, I don't want to go," Jermaine had been insisting that I go with him to some party in Woolwich for a whole hour but that wasn't my thing. Besides, I would be out of place. After the whole fiasco of being embarrassed for wearing Layla's clothes, going to a huge social event like this would be embarrassing for me.
"Please man, who else would I go with? You know I don't chat to them man anymore," I had to turn my head away when he started pouting and giving me that puppy look that I normally could resist, but today it was making me feel all fuzzy inside. "You know I left them man for you."
"Don't try and make me feel bad. They were harassing me for years and you only just stuck up for me last week. Lowe it," I kissed my teeth. If anyone had any issues with Jermaine, best believe they would never be a part of my friendship circle. Although jermaine was loved by everyone, if somehow he made a few enemies, I would stand by him and not interact with them. He's so lucky that I was able to overlook it for all these years. "I don't know why you're moving like you fell out with all of them. And you know bare man outside of college who you could roll with. Stop pretending."
