"How, how did you get my number?" I panicked.
"You're really going to forget the details of our little rendezvous?" He let out a sinister laugh; that's when I remembered I had given him my number at the bus stop we met at. I would have expected him to delete it by now, he got what he wanted. "Listen sket..."
"I'm not a sket," I said through gritted teeth trying to suppress the memories of that night and how used I felt.
"Who fucks after knowing someone for a few hours?" He was right, I had no rebuttal to combat that ugly truth. So much of my worth was tied to being a virgin because I had blindly believed I had nothing else. At that point in time it made me feel even worse knowing I gave it away so easily to a man so vulgar and disgusting. And even as I convinced myself that my value was never dependent on such a fickle concept, it didn't stop the shame and regret from burdening my heart, I had still disrespected my body by messing with a guy like that.
"What do you want?" I spat out, venom laced in my tone.
"Attitude gyal, no more shyness yeah," He chuckled. "If you do not want anyone finding about what we did, you will do as I say."
"You're a big man to be blackmailing me," I couldn't believe he had the audacity to make such demands, he was scum. Besides, who could he tell? We were not in the same age group and he didn't live in this area; I mean why would he want to expose having sex with a young girl. He would put his own reputation or lack thereof in jeopardy. "You wouldn't dare."
"Try me baby girl," And with that he hung up, leaving me to argue with the dial tone. I wasn't going to fret, I was sure he wouldn't follow up with that threat, I didn't owe him anything. We had met once, it was time he erased my image and our dealings out of his mind – something I was trying to do. I massaged my temple trying to stop the catastrophic migraine that was about to ravage my head, I didn't need this.
It had just gone past midnight so I decided to text Jermaine a long happy birthday message with an apology at the end and posted some pics of us on my Instagram and snapchat of us. Ten minutes had gone by and I still hadn't heard a response from him but I was pretty sure I saw him online on whatsapp and his display picture had changed. I didn't recognise when it was taken but he was in Refill holding a can of ginger beer with his mouth spread apart and tilting upwards in a huge grin. It looked as though he was caught in between laughter, I don't think I had heard that salient comforting sound tonight. I felt my face sink, he was probably still angry at me and I didn't like it at all, he was still my best friend. I locked my phone after preeing his picture for a while and went to sleep.
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I had been checking my phone all morning even on my way to college and Jermaine still had not messaged me back. It wasn't selfish to think he owed me a response for wishing him a happy birthday, right? I sighed shoving my phone back into my bag, he hadn't shown up to college either and not hearing or seeing him bothered me deeply. I thought maybe I should apologise again but the more I began to think about the situation, I realised it just wasn't as deep as he was making it out to be. I mean I said sorry and cooked for him, what more did he want from me. He was probably harbouring ill feelings from before because this behaviour he was exhibiting was unexplainable. He was posting on snapchat all the messages he was receiving from his friends – Leon included and I felt personally attacked, as if he was trying to deliberately wind me up. I didn't say anything out of the respect of it being his birthday but honestly, what was he playing at? I was going to give him a piece of my mind but not today, I'd allow him to celebrate but, it was coming soon.
I was packing my belongings up in the studio when I received a text from Levi saying he was outside. I could feel my stomach stirring in anticipation. I wanted to be near him, feel him and listen to his smooth velvety voice that could still the recalcitrant motion of the most untameable seas. And each time those deep waves of his spontaneous conversation would caress my mind, I became more and more addicted to him.
