Tainted Heart - A Jai Brooks Fanfiction

Chapter 8

--------------------NOTE------------------

This chapter could be a little but triggering ok so just be careful :(

It isn't light reading so if you're easily depressed just please be careful!

Ok ily all

~Leah
Xoxoxox



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I woke up the next day and found myself in my bedroom still wearing the clothes I had on yesterday. Someone, probably Jai, must have carried me upstairs after I fell asleep.
I stretched and rolled out of the bed, making my way downstairs for some breakfast. It was a boiling hot day so I opened all the windows and doors to get a breeze going through the house.

I found the boys in different places downstairs, still sound asleep. I giggled at Skip who was conked out on the sofa with his legs resting up the wall and his head hanging off the side of the sofa. I snapped a picture of his sleeping figure on my phone and tweeted it

"@leah_mac: found sleeping beauty in this position downstairs :P #dopeyskip"

I tweeted it and threw my phone onto the couch beside him where Beau was sprawled out snoring. I started cooking a huge fry for breakfast and slowly but surely the boys began to wake up as the smell of the fry wafted through the house.

Skip was the first one to reach me and gave me a behind hug, making me laugh.

"Oh my god, you're the best person ever, I love a good fry up in the morning!" I laughed and swatted at him with a spatula.

"Yeah yeah, you're only saying that cause I'm cooking" I laughed as he dodged out of the way. Beau, James and Luke all walked in and piled themselves at the kitchen table as I served up breakfast.

I looked up as Jai walked in, his hair disheveled and his clothes crumpled from sleeping in them.

"If you guys are gonna be sleeping here all the time, you need to leave some stuff here. Slept-in clothes isn't a good look" I remarked cheekily. Jai chuckled and sat down at the table, helping himself to the fry. We all chatted for ages before James piped up.

"Ey boys, we need to do another video today, it's been too long!" I frowned in confusion.

"What video? What're you talking about?"

The boys all looked at me as if I had ten heads.

"Eh.. We're the Janoskians..?" Beau said slowly. "You know.. YouTube group?"

I shook my head.

"I have no idea what you're talking about"

Suddenly Skip groaned and showed us his phone.

"Did you tweet a picture of me asleep?!" He groaned as we all laughed at the picture "I look so weird, how do I even sleep like that?!"

"Yeah I did" I replied between fits of laughter "how did you know? I don't follow you?"

"Our fans, they see everything! Check your phone, I bet you have a billion interactions."

I took my phone off the sofa and logged into my twitter. I gasped in shock. Over 1000 retweets and I had gained 900 followers.

"What the fuck?!" I exclaimed. "How the hell did that happen?"

Luke laughed at my shocked expression. "We're the Janoskians, whatever we do is picked up on by like a billion girls!"

Beau pulled out his phone and started typing something. A few minutes later I got a new interaction.

"@BrooksBeau: Hey you beautiful sluts, we've made a new friend so go follow her ;) @leah_mac she makes a mean fry up xo"

As soon as he tweeted, I got hundreds more notifications from fans or 'Janoskianators' as the boys called them. The rest of the boys followed me as well and Jai tweeted me.

"@JaiBrooks1: thank you for the amazing food beautiful <3 @leah_mac"

I blushed crimson when I saw it and got up from the table to hide my embarrassment.

"Well boys, you said you needed to make a video so let's go!" I said to them. They all cheered and got up from the table.

"We're gonna go home first and hit the shower, meet you back here in an hour" Luke told me.

"Ay ay captain" I smiled as James hopped on Skips back and they hurtled down the hallway. The rest of the boys left, not without Jai giving me a secret kiss on the cheek when the boys weren't looking, and I headed upstairs to get ready.

I showered quickly and left my hair to dry naturally as I did my makeup. I decided to put a bit more effort in today, seeing as we were gonna be filming something and lined my eyes with eyeliner and brown and gold eyeshadow. I smeared some reddish lip gloss on my lips and did my hair in a half up half down style.

I pulled on black skinniest and a deep green crop top with brown gladiator sandals and just as I was about to head downstairs my phone rang. I looked at the caller I.D. and realised it was my mum.

"Hello?"

"Leah, you haven't called in two days?! Are you ok? How's the new job? Are you eating ok?"

All these questions flew down the phone and I half smiled.

"Mum I'm fine jeez, you don't need to worry as much. By the way, isn't it in the middle of the night over there with the time difference?"

"Don't worry about that, I just wanted to talk to you.. Is that too much to ask of my only daughter?"

I heard a catch in her voice and I immediately stiffened up.

"Mum, whats wrong? Did something happen?"

I heard her sigh on the other end of the line.

"It's Robs family.. They called again.. They still haven't accepted-"

"That I killed their son." I cut her off, tears building up.

"No love, that's not true! You did nothing wrong! You couldn't have known-"

"But that's the thing Mum" I cut her off again, the tears running down my cheeks freely now. "I should have known. He was my everything, and now I have nothing. They blame me because I should have seen that he was dying inside. That he wanted to end it."

I shook my head and looked out the doors of my balcony, taking in the beautiful view.

"They're right Mum, it was my fault. I have to live with that for the rest of my life. Rob is lucky, his pain has stopped."

I hung up the phone, ignoring my mothers pleas to stay and talk. I sank slowly to the ground, sobbing heavily.

I loved Rob. He didn't just leave them, he left me too. I have this huge hole in my heart where he was and now he's gone. People blamed me back home for that had happened..

-FLASHBACK-

"Ma'am is there anything else you can tell us? Any other details you might have left out?"

I looked up at the officer who was standing before me with a false sympathetic expression plastered across his face. I shook my head, my hands tightening on the mug of coffee I had been given.

"No.. I've told you everything, I'm sorry."

The officer nodded and walked towards his car. I looked at the line or reporters standing behind the police tape, all trying to get a better picture of the scene where he-

I swallowed back a sob and shut my eyes. This is a dream, I'm gonna wake up and this will all be a dream. Rob will be beside me and we'll joke about this.. This isn't real.

I opened up my eyes. I was still sitting on the cold metal bench with a blanket around my shoulders. This was reality. Rob was dead. He's never coming back.

I sobbed uncontrollably and my shoulders shook violently. I heard a loud wail coming from behind the police tape and I looked over.

Robs parents were struggling against a police officer and his mother was screaming.

"That's my son!" His mother, Fiona, screamed. "THATS MY SON IN THERE, JUST LET ME THROUGH!"

The officer lifted up the tape and let them through. Fiona ran over to the screen that had been put up to hide the scene from reporters and looked around it. Her hand went to her mouth and she turned away from the grisly scene. Her husband, Derek, had caught up to her and held her close, tears running down his cheeks.

Fiona opened her eyes and settled them on me. Her expression went from grief to rage and she tore away from Derek's grasp.

"You.. You filthy whore!" She screeched, striding towards me. "You killed him! You killed my son, you let him do this! You bitch."

She ripped the mug of coffee out of my hands, the scalding liquid burning my skin. She grabbed my arm and hoisted me off the bench, leading me over to the screen.

"No.." I sobbed. "Don't make me go behind there."

She pushed me around the screen and grabbed my hair, forcing me to look at where Rob died. I tried to close my eyes but she yanked on my hair, making them fly open in pain.

"Look what you did." She snarled in my ear. "My son is dead because of you, you need to look at him now.. What's left of him."

My eyes took in the scene and the images burned into my mind.. The blood...

An officer finally wrestled Fiona away and she screamed after me.

"You bitch! You killed him!! Don't think this is over, your life is going to be hell. Mark my words. This isn't over."

Her voice cracked on the last word and she burst into tears again, Derek consoling her and leading her away. Her words repeated in the back of my mind.

Your life is going to be hell. This isn't over.


-END OF FLASHBACK-


I opened my eyes again. I relived that moment so many times in my mind I had lost count. I heard the boys car pull up in the driveway so I stood up and quickly fixed my hair and makeup. I took a few deep breaths and jogged downstairs to the boys car.

There wasn't enough seats so I sat on Jai's lap with my legs stretched out over Skip and Luke.

"For fuck sake, your legs weigh a tonne!" Luke grumbled teasingly. I slapped his arm.

"Only because I squat more than you do, bitch!" I retorted. The boys laughed at my comeback and Skip hi-fived me.

"BUUUUURRRN LUKEY" James shouted and cranked up the radio. Radioactive by Imagine Dragons came on and Beau started belting out the chorus.

I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive

I stared out the window, not joining in and Jai squeezed my hand.

"Hey, you ok?" He asked

I turned my head to face him and looked into his brown eyes that were brimming with concern. I brushed my fingers against his perfect jawline and kissed him gently. No passion, just pure gentleness. I pulled away after a few seconds.

"Yeah.. I'm ok."

He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it before pressing it to his chest. I put my head on his shoulder and stared out the opposite window.

I'm sorry Rob.

I love you.