I got out of the hospital a few days ago and have spent my days at home alone. Occasionally, Arthur has come round to see how I was and to just really give me someone to talk to. I don't want to talk to anyone else but him. He was the only one that I could have talked to and I was sure that he was the one who put me in hospital. If he didn't do that, I would be dead right now, free from life and all the negativity that has driven me to the point of insanity. As much as I wanted to be free, I could not leave someone who says that he loves me. But if I died like I wanted, he would have never been able to tell me so.
I was in my bedroom at the time, looking over my possessions. I never knew that I had so much stuff that I needed to throw out. Sighing, I tidied it all away to go and get something to eat. Idiot, I forgot that I had nothing in. When I was going through everything, I hadn't eaten very much. As a result of that, my headaches that I had been having had got more frequent and were also more painful with each one that I had. My weight had decreased rapidly over the few months that had I had lived whilst in this depressive state.
I was still warmed to the idea that the world would be better off without me. Everyone could live in peace without the fear of me raping them. No one had contacted me apart from England, but I don't care. I don't care if they care about me or not, for I just want England to be there for me like we have always done for each other. He and Alfred were together however and it makes me so angry and jealous of them. The first time I had had told Artbur that I loved him, he laughed. He laughed. I went home that day and cut his name onto my leg. The scar is still there, fading day by day, but occasionally I like to trace over it with a knife. I didn't want Alfred to be with him. He treats him horribly and I can see how much Arthur wants to be free of him. I know what it feels like to want to be free of something, Life, opinions, pain, I want to be free of it all.
Tonight, I went to bed late. I still can't sleep easily. All I manage to do is cry and bite my lip as I block out the pain from my newly-cut scars.
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I was in the world conference, wearing my usual military clothing.
I looked at the blackboard
What I saw was something that made me.....
It said
RIP FROG
I rubbed my eyes
I saw everyone walk in and take their seats
They saw the board and smiled to each other
YOU ARE READING
Please, I Can Change
FanfictionI can't ignore the voices in my head France. Pervert. Rapist. I hear those names too often I want this all to be over It will be worth it (Triggers: Self harm, suicidal thoughts (I haven't decided yet))
