Please, I Can Change

Epilogue

(Arthurs POV)

I walked slowly through the field, the breeze whistling in my ears and rain falling lightly on myself. It had been nearly four months now since Francis died, and I miss him more than ever. I wish that he didn't have to have caused himself this pain because he was misunderstood.

He was always the most level-headed out of the Allies, keeping calm during hard times. I had always admired that about him. His history had been so painful and hard but he had always acted like nothing had happened. I remember him vividly during the French Revolution. We all know what it feels like to have a capital destroyed. It is agony; you feel like you have had a knife stabbed through your body a thousand times. I knew that it would have hurt, but he plastered a smile on his face, telling me that he was definitely okay.

I have no idea what is going to happen to France and the French people. They have had so many thunderstorms around Paris, I have seen on the forecast. I don't know what will happen...

I reached my destination and looked around me about where I was. Thousands of stones, each representing a life that had been born, raised, lived and passed. I knew Francis wondered always what it would be like to be a human. I have often wondered what it is like to be a human. To see your life end, to live out your last moments. As nations, we are born, raised and live forever until we are killed. Humans don't have to watch their friends die whilst they live on... He told me that once and I knew that I wouldn't forget his words.

My dear; my love; my life; under the soil. Never to see light again. I wanted to take the earth and fling it out, just to see his beautiful face again.

Reaching down, I placed the red roses onto the headstone. Tears sprung to my eyes as I touched the cold stones. I ran my fingers through the engraving, written in gold on the stone.

Here lies Francis Bonnefoy
Nation of France
Born, raised and lived until his death
Loved by his family: Arthur, Matthew and Alfred

Underneath it had an engraving of a rose and the words read:

Love is a beautiful red rose;
Given for no apparent reason

Tears poured down my cheeks as the rain fell harder around me. Unfortunately for me and everyone else, the rose that had once been bright and beautiful, had wilted. Once it wilts, it can never regain the happiness and joy that it once had.

I took a rose between my fingers from the bouquet, straightening out the stem and crushing the thorns against my skin, drawing beads of blood in my palm. Still crying, I ripped out the petals and released them from my fist. I watched them scatter in the wind, falling on the ground. I whispered to him, and the words were echoed in the wind

"Goodbye Francis. Goodbye, mon cher...Mon amour..." I cried. I remembers his last words before I saw the darkness of the night sky swallow my lover up. It kills me to remember.

"I hate that I am still hoping... I wish.... I wish you would just come back to me.... I wish you would come back and I could ignore this as you ignored my love for you....  I think of you at 2 am and I want you to hold me, dry my tears and tell me that it's going to be okay..." My breath kept faltering as I cried " But now every day I fight the urge to send you a text, call you just because I know I won't get a reply when I tell you that I love you... I want to be with me... Right here right now so that I can tell you that I am okay and I am fine and I will get through this... A-And then you will tell me that I am not okay... It is just the worst fucking feeling not knowing whether it's worth waiting for someone or not..." I broke down.

I heard Oliver then in that moment, calling to me, his voice sickly sweet with no sympathy.

"Cupcakes, stop thinking about him. You know he's not thinking about you..." I heard, knowing that this was true. I loved him, and when I looked into his eyes full of love and devotion and hope, he looked away. And it hurt me. It was another one of those awkward moments when you think that you're important to someone, and you're not.

END

(( Looks like this is over! I don't know how but I actually wrote the epilogue before the actual last chapter. Wow :D

I won't lecture on for ages but I have a few things to say which won't take long.. So first thing that I want to talk about is the sequel to this story. I had originally planned to do it with how Arthur deals with Francis' death and everything, but honestly, I have had absolutely NO INSPIRATION for it. So I am going to ask my readers and if I can, I will put a poll on to see if you guys want a sequel to this. Of course, if most of you say yes to a sequel, I am sure that I could think up something, but I have other stories to finish also and I don't want to do a sequel when there isn't a need for one. Just comment below!

Secondly, thanks SO MUCH to @Erisaa for the awesome reviews on each of the chapters. I love reading everyone's comments and I do my best to reply, as some have given me advice on improvement and even on how I could end it when I was stuck with writers block.

I think that's all... Thanks so much for staying with me during my writing, and thanks to all readers for reading! Love you all!<3 ))