Please, I Can Change

Chapter 13

The rain woke me up. It spat down harshly and rolled down my face slowly. My breath came in short and shallow gasps as I came back fo consciousness. It was still night time, the skies pitch black. I rolled my eyes and shakily got to my feet. My head hurt badly and I could feel the stickiness of my blood on my hair.

I couldn't remember anything that had happened, but if I had woken up like this, then it couldn't have been good. I remember one thing.

BEING A PERVERT ISN'T FUN....,

I remember those words, they still ring in my head like an alarm that I can't turn off.

RAPISTS LIKE YOU SHOULD BE KILLED ALREADY

That is when I lost consciousness, I remember. Those words drove themselves into my heart and memory like poisoned daggers.

I got to my feet and noticed that I was in an alleyway. It was at least a good thing, when I realised that I hadn't been killed for the sake of killing or been robbed. I didn't have much on me, so it would have been fruitless to try anyway. My whole body ached as I started to look around where I had fallen. My nose was bleeding and I had a biting migraine. Shaking it off, I stumbled along the road and realised that I didn't know where I was going. I know that I had run from the park in a fit of anger and sadness. Sadness is the wrong word for the feeling. It was sadness, it wasn't devastation, but it was more like heartbreak. This level was a feeling that I knew that for the rest of my short and depressing life, I wouldn't ever forget. This heartbreak was when you slowly feel your feelings crumble into nothingness. It's what tears cannot simply express your sadness. I bit my lip to stop myself even thinking about those ten seconds. Ten seconds where my whole entire world shattered before my eyes.

He looked passionate on Alfred and I can't forget how he looked so hooked to him. Like the man who had treated him so badly actually meant something to him. Did Alfred mean more to Arthur than I did? The one question that I wished that I had asked before I had had to run. I had to run from my worst nightmares, and I could kick myself for not confronting them when I had the opportunity.

I didn't exactly know where I was going. For some reason, I badly wanted to see Arthur and give him a chance to explain his actions to me. On the other hand, I felt that I couldn't face him. I was scared to death of the things that he would say to me. I was scared to the possibility of the truth. I wanted to just go home and sleep it all off, but I knew that I would only stay up and play all of those scenes over and over again. I didn't live that far away from Arthur and I felt my legs walk to where the road went down to Arthurs, and the over road leading to mine. I looked at them both, tears starting in my eyes again. My hand raised itself to wipe them away, and result in my hand being stained with clear liquids and pale shades of red from the blood.

I walked down the road, keeping my eyes fixated on the destinstion.