Please, I Can Change

Chapter 14

                      (England's POV)

I watched him run away and I broke away from Alfred's grip to run after him. My tears were pouring out of my eyes, wetting my pale cheeks as I run. God, Arthur, you completely inconsiderate cheat. I kept running, my hair sticking to my sweat-drenched forehead.  All I could watch in front of me was the man I love run away from me, his shoes slapping on the pavement, his blonde hair flying out behind his head.

I was so angry at myself. I didn't just cheat on Francis; I guess that I cheated on Alfred. I loved them both; one more than the other, but it was still them both.

That's when I lost him. I looked around and panic flashed across my face. What? Where was he? I had to find him.. I ran quickly down an alleyway in search but could not find him. I was still crying; I had to explain everything, even if he didn't give me a chance to. I was going to leave Alfred because I loved him instead. I didn't want to kiss him, but as soon as he saw Francis enter the park, he smashed his lips onto mine. I was shocked at him, and I slapped him as soon as Francis had run out of the park. He gasped and his cheek went red where I hit him. I didn't love someone like him; I couldn't,

The night wore on and I still couldn't find Francis. I was so tired; my eyelids were drooping but I just had to find him and explain.

-------------Flashback--------------------

Kiku welcomed me into his home and sat me down.

"What's wrong, Arthur-kun?" He looked at me as he poured the tea.

"W-what? O-Oh.. Nothing is wrong. I am fine, really. I am fine." I replied, not noticing how downcast my expression seemed to be.

"Arthur-kun, what is wrong?" He asked again

"I said I'm fine!" I exclaimed

He raised his eyebrow "What is wrong? You can tell me..."

"I am fine! I'm fine! I'm fine!" I facepalmed

"I'm not asking you again.." He narrowed his eyes

I sighed. As long as he didn't tell anyone, I was fine.

"I-It's Francis...." I stuttered

Kiku nodded slowly "I see...."

"I don't want to see him like this, you know I don't.. I feel so bad about not noticing any of the signs. I could have prevented all of this, but I only found him after he had tried to commit suicide. I just feel so guilty, I guess" I rambled, and Kiku kept nodding slowly.

"And then there's Alfred... Yes, I know that he is my boyfriend, but I have feelings for Francis as well. I don't know what to do.." I finished.

"Ah.. I see... Well, if they both were to ask you out on a date, before everything with Francis, who would you agree to?" He asked

I thought for a while "Alfred..."

"And what about now?"

"Francis..." I said

"I see." Kiku paused and looked at me "So who do you feel more love for? One who loves you back, and you have been with for a long time, but treats you worse than you should be treated as a partner. Or with one who you have only recently fallen in love with, has supported you your whole life, who you have spent every opportunity to reconcile with more bickering. But pushes you away..."

I sighed "I don't know..."