Years, Life

Years|| 15 years old (1/2)

Triggers. There should be less from now on though, they are growing up :)

Dan's POV
It was two years on. Two years since I'd cut, purged, skipped a meal, thought about suicide.

Phil's POV
It was two years on. Everything was getting better. Dan and I had left our bad friendship group, because as Cat and Alfie grew up they got closer, and Alfie cheated on Zoe. We were still friends with Zoe and Louise, but not as close. We were better off with just the two of us. We were happy now.

At least, that's what Dan thought. But I've been getting worse over the last few weeks. But he could never know that. I had to hide it from him, he was doing so well. There was nothing to hide. I wouldn't go into a full blown relapse. I'd come so far.

Ugh. I always ruin everything. Whenever things are going well I mess them up.

Every. Single. Time.

Dan's POV
"All you are is a stupid, fat, gay boy." His words echoed through my brain. Phil thinks that Dawson has laid off since he got excluded, but it isn't true. But today was worse. Fat.

He had never called me fat before. I knew I was, but I was ignoring it for Phil, to make him happy.

But if other people were noticing too?

Just once. That's what I told myself as I rammed my fingers down my throat, feeling my gag reflexes kicking in. Just once.

It was breaking me, knowing how hurt Phil would be if he found out. That's why it had to be just once. Not again. I couldn't do it again. I wouldn't.

Zoe's POV (This is new😂)
Dan and Phil. They were the ultimate power couple, always there for each other, always there for everyone else. But not themselves. They always worry so much about other people, that they never stop to think about themselves. The group split up a while back, but me and Louise still watch them, to make sure they're okay.

And they were. For a while. But now I can see them breaking. It's so unfair, they haven't done anything wrong. But together, they are completely different. They lie to protect the other, but they are both just as broken. And until they work together, they aren't going to fix.

This was where Louise and I had a plan. She'd tackle Dan, I'd work with Phil.

I couldn't let two of the only people who ever cared about me slip out from right under my fingertips.

Zoe: Hey Phil how you doing, we haven't spoken in a while...
Phil: I know right! I've missed you... Why do you ask?
Zoe: I can see right through your walls Phil, you need to tell Dan.
Phil: Never, I'm worried enough about him as it is, I don't want him worrying about me.
Zoe: He is gonna find out sooner or later, isn't it better now, before you get any worse?
Phil: I'm trusting you, Sugg. If this backfires it's your fault...
Zoe: I know what I'm on about Phil, I went through this with Alfie, remember?
Phil: Fine.

Louise: hey Dan you okay? I saw you in school earlier and you looked a bit upset...
Dan: I'm just worried about Phil, I can see that he's getting worse but he isn't telling me.
Louise: maybe he's just like you, afraid of hurting the person he loves.
Dan: explain?
Louise: I know what you did the other day. Tell him.
Dan: how will that help?
Louise: because then you can fix each other like you always do, and he won't be afraid of hurting you.
Dan: Louise you are like an elf :)
Louise: explain??
Dan: Wise and short ;)
Louise: go talk to Phil!

Phil's POV
Dan came rushing over to me, and we talked it out. I felt better already, knowing that there was nothing I was keeping from him. We agreed that there would be no more secrets from now on. And that made me happy.

That was when I realised.

Life is too short to waste time being sad. So do things that make you happy. Spend time with the people you love.

Dan's POV
Life is always worth living. And everybody has a purpose.

And that was when something clicked, for both of us. And I knew that this was the end. The end of the sadness, the end of the trouble.

Phil's POV
And the start of the Dan and Phil that could take on the world with a smile, as long as they had each other.

And we just sat on my bed and cuddled until we fell asleep.