Years, Life

Life|| 32 years old (4/10)

Less triggers.

The letter from Emily.
Dear Dads,
I need to tell you something. I am thirteen now and over time I have realised some things. I don't expect you to mind, if you did it would be a bit ironic. You found out about the incident with that boy Morgan. But what you didn't find out about was the way I felt after. Before you worry, I didn't relapse. Not into self harm or suicidal thinking anyway. But my nights were plagued with terror, and I passed out a few times from exhaustion.

But then in my birthday, something happened, and it confirmed the thoughts that I had been having for a while. Emma (I told you about her on the phone before, she's my other best friend other than Lucas) kissed me. I had had feeling for her for a while, but I was scared to say anything. I didn't want to lose my friendship with her.

You'd really like her, she's so kind. She used to stay up with me when I had my nightmares. From what I've heard from Auntie Zoe and Auntie Louise, she'd a lot like Daddy Phil was when he was our age. Hopefully you'll meet her soon, as I want my parents to approve if my girlfriend.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think I'm gay. I would have told you on the phone, but I don't have my phone privileges back until next month. So I guess that's the only big news. I'll write again soon.

I miss you and I love you,
Emily
Xx

P.S- I'm allowed to home home at Christmas... Like permanently, but... No biggie xx.

Phil's POV
I couldn't be happier. The fact that she was gay was no biggie. She was right that it would have been quite ironic for us to be upset. The fact that she started the letter with 'dear dads' Should have been enough. But she was coming home! Soon! We had to get ready. It was going to be the best Christmas since Izzy died. I would have to show Dan when he got home from the supermarket.

*click*

Speak of the devil. I ran up to him and threw my arms around him.
"Hi babe!" He looked so confused and adorable, I couldn't resist kissing him quickly on his lips.
"What's going on? Is it my birthday? Is it mums birthday?" He was so cute. I loved how he called my mum mum.
"No silly, they're both next month!" I laughed. "Emily sent a letter!"
"Really! Let me see, let me seeee!" I loved whiny Dan.
"What do you say?" I was treating him like a child, but he was being too cute. I couldn't even comprehend it.
"Pleeeeease..." He snuck his arms around my waist, tickling my stomach. I squealed, I was like putty in his hands.

I handed him the letter, and his face lit up.
"She's coming home! Our little girl is coming home!"
He kissed me.

Dan's POV
I was over the moon about Emily coming home. Phil had been so much better since he had found out. It was like it had given all of us hope, something that neither of us had had for a long time. I loved it.

I was also happy that she had a girlfriend. I know how much having Phil helped me, and I was just glad that she had found someone who she felt she had that bond with.

Emma's POV (ooh, exciting!)

How could I tell Emily? I loved her so much, and I know that she loved me too, but I could never be with her. My parents were extremely religious, and extremely homophobic. If they found out I was gay they'd kill me. Emily and I had been given the same release date. The 23rd December. The day before Christmas Eve. So that meant that my parents and Emily's parents would meet. Although chances are they might have already met.

While I was at this camp for my stupid anorexia and suicide attempts, they moved from my home in NYC to London. My dad was from London, and they wanted to be nearer to his family. And Emily was from London. My parents didn't even want me being friends with Emily. When they found out that her parents were gay, they said she was the child of Satan, and forbade me from speaking to her. I burned the letter.

The idea of not seeing her again made me feel nauseous. The idea that I would never be able to hold her in my arms, feel her lips on mine, hear her laugh, see her smile... Her smile was simply something else. It had the ability to light up the whole room, to make you forget whatever was making you feel upset. I couldn't even comprehend the prospect of it.

I hadn't realised it, but I was sobbing. Emily was at a therapy session, I was alone. I paced back and forth, trying to take my mind off everything, but I was uncontrollably losing my ability to breathe. I fell down to the ground, gasping.

At that point, Emily walked in. As soon as she saw me, she ran to me and wrapped pulled me towards her, holding me in her arms and playing with my hair until my breathing regulated. I didn't deserve her. She was this amazing, beautiful person with a heart as pure as gold. And I was just me. Mediocre, ugly Emma. Emma the failure, Emma the freak, Emma the disappointment, Emma the mistake. And that was just from my parents.

"Hey, what's going on?" She spoke softly and her voice instantly calmed me. I needed to tell her, it wasn't fair for her not to know.
"My parents..." My own voice was barely more than a whisper, "They said we can't even be friends, because of your dads. My parents are really, really homophobic. Once we get out of here, they're never gonna let me see you again..." Saying it out loud made it feel more real. I couldn't face the thought of it and I trailed off into another bout of sobs.
"Shhh..." Emily whispered into my hair, "Think about it, there must be something that we can do."
"I don't think there is..." I cried into her shoulders.
"There must be. Do they know you're gay?" She asked me. She sounded mischievous.
"No..." I didn't know where she was going with this. There was silence, and it scared me, so I filled it.
"I want to move away from them. That's the reason I tried to commit suicide. I hate them so much!" I started crying again. I felt pathetic, but I couldn't help it. I looked at Emily, and she was smiling. I didn't know what she was planning, but it had to be better than losing her.

I know I'm young to be saying this, but Emily is who I want to grow old with. I've never loved anyone more, and I don't think I'd be able to.
"I need to phone my dads... Can I use your phone privilege this week please..." She looked at me with puppy eyes.
"Be my guest, who am I going to call anyway, my stupid parents..." She just nodded.

We went to the phone, and she put it on speaker so I could hear what was being said.

(D- Dan, P- Phil, E- Emily. This isn't gonna be normal dialogue it's a bit more script like. It was the only way I could think to do it.)

D&P: "Hey Em" They said excitedly.
Emily spoke in a businesslike tone.
E: "Hi, so I'm phoning off Emma's phone privilege, for a very specific reason. Emma's a bit upset, because her parents are homophobic little twats-"
D: "Language!"
E: "Like you can talk! Anyway,she hates them, and they're never going to let us see each other again if it's anything to do with them, so can she come and live with us?"

She said it just like that. They told her they would have to think about it, and look at the legal side of things, then they would send her a letter next week. I hoped that they said yes, from what Emily had said they were really chill, and let's be honest, anything was better that my parents.

Phil's POV
I was happy for Emily having a girlfriend, but I really wasn't sure about her coming to live with us. They were still so young, and what if they had a fight? It would be terribly awkward for them both. Plus, I didn't think it was right to take her away from her parents. Dan was getting his coat... Wait, why?

"Where are you going?" He looked at me.
"To get the paperwork for this Emma?" He said it like it was obvious.
"Wait...What?"
"Nobody should have to live with homophobic parents Phil, especially not as a homosexual person."
"I get that it's not nice, but what if they have a fight! They're so young, Dan, what happens if they spilt up?"
"Phil, I understand your doubts, but think about it. I wouldn't be here today if your mum hadn't have let me move in with you. And yes, they're young, but so were we. I knew I loved you from age five, and look at us now, we're married..."

I hated to admit it, but he was right. It was only like doing the same as what my mum had done for us. I nodded at Dan, and he left. I started writing the letter to Emily. It was going to be a big change, but it would be okay. As long as I had Dan, everything would always be okay.