Intentional But Unbelievable (Jalex)

To Speak Up

Jack's POV
_____

I wasn't sure what it was that I'd said to Alex to make him run away like that. Rian slapped my arm.
"Why'd you say anything to him?" Rian asked me. "You know he's shy."
"I didn't want him to feel left out." I told him. It was true. I was only trying to include him, even though I already knew what he liked to do for fun, he'd told me the night before, but he had no idea that he'd told me.
"Go apologize, Jack." Rian said to me. I rolled my eyes at him and slid out of the booth. I went to the back of the restaurant and went into the bathroom. I could hear heavy breathing. I glanced at the floor, trying to figure out which stall Alex was in, his flip-flops indicated he was in the far right one. There was another person in there, but it sounded like they were playing Angry Birds or some shit. Tentatively, I knocked on the bathroom stall door.
"Alex? You okay in there?" I asked him. I felt guilty, I hadn't meant to set him off, I was merely just trying to include him. He sniffled.
"G-G-Go away, Jack, please." He said softly. I could hear him whimpering behind the door. I knocked again.
"Did I say something? I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, really I am. You still probably think I'm a huge dick, huh?" I rambled on. He had fallen silent and I wasn't sure what else to say. Slowly, he opened the door. His face was blotchy and his eyes were red. His beanie had been ripped off his head and his hair was wavy and appeared like his hands had been messing with it too much.
"You're not a dick. I am. I've been meaning to apologize to you. I judged you too harshly." He gave me a sad smile. "And you didn't say anything wrong. Thanks for trying to include me. But I think I should go home."
"Aw, don't, Matt'll be pissed and will think I scared you off."
"You can come with me, if you want."
"You're not trying to seduce me are you?" I was completely teasing, but Alex blushed a dark crimson. I laughed. "I was joking. Unless you are, then I'm all game." That didn't help his blushing.
"Erm, well, I'm going." He went to the door and I followed. He opened the door and held it for me.
"So, if I go hang out with you, what can we do?" I asked him as we'd started walking down the short hallway back into the restaurant. He shrugged.
"I dunno. We can play videogames. Or make cookies." He suggested.
"Cookies? You defiantly are trying to seduce me, and it's working." I winked at him playfully. He shoved me lightly, making me laugh at him a little. We walked back over to Matt and Rian.
"Hey, Alex. You okay?" Rian asked Alex. Alex nodded to him.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He told Rian. "But I'm gonna go ahead and go."
"Dammit, Jack!" Matt joked to me.
"What're you talking about? We're going to go hang out together." I said to Matt smugly.
"What? Really?" Matt eyes both of us.
"Yeah. Uh. So, it was nice hanging out with you guys, and erm, sorry for running out like that." Alex grabbed my wrist. "We're gonna go now, bye!" He tugged me out of the restaurant by my wrist. I eyed him curiously. Something was off with him. One minute he was quiet and shy, then the next, he'd be all smiles and laughs. I was trying to figure out what to say to him, so I decided to tease him.
"I didn't know you wanted to be alone that bad." I teased him, hoping to see his cheeks become pink. But that didn't happen. Instead, he let go of my wrist and started crying. "Alex?"
"I'm sorry, I'm such a wuss." He wiped at his eyes.
"Hey, it's okay. Really, c'mon, I won't tease you anymore." I said to him quietly. I wasn't very good with handling other people's feelings. So I really had no idea what to say.
"You can tease me. Just..can I tell you something? And you have to promise not to tell anyone." He looked up at me, his bright eyes red from all the tears. I nodded wordlessly. "I have really bad anxiety, and when you'd asked me what I liked to do, I freaked and I-I-I was having an anxiety attack. And, I didn't want you to see." He dropped his head. "You probably think I'm a freak, don't you?" I reached out and hugged him with no warning. His body tense against mine.
"We're all freaks, Alex." I mumbled to him. He loosened a little and wrapped his arms around me.
"Thank you."
___

Alex's room was an absolute mess. I wasn't sure how one person could create such a mess. There were clothes strewn about, the smell of old food, videogames haphazardly scattered. There was a notebook on his bed. I strode over to it as Alex set up his Xbox.
"Wha- no! No, no, no!" He rushed over and took the slim black notebook from me. "You can't see what's inside."
"Why not?" I challenged him playfully. He paled.
"You just can't. Um, so you've played Black Ops before, right?" Alex asked me. I thought about answering him. I had played before, really, who hasn't? But, he might show me how to play, meaning he might have to make physical contact with me.
"I haven't played in a while." I told him. Which was true, I hadn't played in over a week. He handed me a controller and pointed to the buttons and explained to me which did what and a few times his hands brushed over mine.
"You got it?" He asked me. I nodded.
"Yeah, thanks." I told him. He gave me a small smile and pressed start so the intro would stop replaying itself. We played a few rounds against each other, Alex winning numerous times. Mostly due to my staring at him. The way he looked so concentrated intrigued me. When his lips curled into a triumphant grin, I almost threw myself at him.
"I win, but it's okay, you'll get better." He said, turning to face me. I shrugged. I didn't ever want to beat him if he had that look on his face every time he won.
"Eh. Can I ask you a question?" I asked him.
"Well, that was a question. But go ahead." He told me, I rolled my eyes at him.
"Will you go out with me?" I asked him bluntly. He blinked, his face turning red.
"What?" He asked me softly.
"Will you go out with me, as in a date?" I repeated to him slowly. He shook his head.
"I uh, I'm not comfortable dating right now." He told me. I understood his reasons for saying no to me, but what I didn't get was why did he makeout with me numerous times? Then again, he had no idea that it was me who he'd made out with. Still though, he'd rather makeout with a stranger, than go out with me?
"Okay, one day you'll say yes." I said teasingly. He giggled a little.
"If you say so, Jack." He said between giggles. Fuck, he was giggling.
"So, if I may ask, do English people really say 'ello gov'ner'"?
"No, Jack. I have no idea why Americans always assume that we do."
"So, you don't drink tea all day?"
"Not really. When I was younger, yeah. I drink hot tea to warm up my voice, but I don't drink it like others do."
"Warm up your voice? For what?"
"I sing." He averted size gaze from mine. "In my spare time."
"Oh, can you show me? I'd like to hear you sing."
"Um, well...just like one day I'll say yes to a date to you, one day I'll sing for you."
"I'll hold you to that, Alex."
"And I'll make sure you do, Jack."

____

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I was shirtless and standing in my bathroom, about to take a shower. I pulled my phone out of my tight pants pocket. It was a message from an unknown number. I didn't have to question who it was. I knew it was Alex. But he had no idea it was me. It was an odd thing really, that I'd been playing him. If I had known that Alex in fact, didn't hate me, and all what had happened that afternoon would happen, I would have told him my name. I would've kissed him. Fuck, thinking about kissing him made me grin like an idiot. I opened the message.
'Hey, it's Alex.' The message read. I couldn't help but wonder what he was up to.
'Hey, how are you?' I typed back. It didn't take lone for him to reply again. I made my way over to the toilet and closed the lid and sat down, reading his reply.
'Pretty good. And you?'
"I'm good.' The sound of pounding on the bathroom door busted my happy bubble.
"Hey! Jack! Stop fucking masturbating in there and hurry the fuck up!" Rian yelled through the door. "I have to take a serious piss!" I rolled my eyes at him and stood from the toilet. I turned on the shower and got undressed, the unanswered text the last thing on my mind as I walked into the mildly-scalding water.