Intentional But Unbelievable (Jalex)

Ready To Go

Alex's POV

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Hm. J wasn't replying to my text message. I figured he might be busy actually doing the english essay that was due in two days. I had already finished the essay, my lack of a social life supplying me with all the time nessacary to complete it. I sat on my bed. My roommate had gone out with some of his friends, leaving me by myself, and honestly, I felt lonely.

Jack hadn't been a complete douchbag to me, in fact, he'd been pretty kind. He'd hung out with me for almost five straight hours. Not once did we run out of things to say, he even talked to me about how Matt really wanted us to get along, because he wanted us to be friends. I found it hilarious, mostly because Matt and I weren't that close, so why worry about if I fit in with his other friends?

My phone finally vibrated again, but this time it was just a message from my aunt. I was lonely, but not in the mood to hear all the family drama she'd surely tell me about. I sighed and laid down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. My phone vibrated and I almost jumped out of my skin. I picked it up and unlocked it.

'Sorry, had to take a shower. You know, I felt embarrassed for you this morning.' J's message read.

'Aw fuck, you saw that?' My thumbs typed back instantly.

'Yeah, but you looked cute, so it's okay ;)' His words made me giggle and blush. I didn't think I looked that good, considering I hadn't had the proper amount of time to get ready.

'Aw, well aren't you good at flattery?' I was smiling and was happy to have some sort of conversation with the man, whose face I didn't know, but I still felt lonely. I wanted to ask him if I could see him, but decided that he'd probably think that I was a freak if I asked him that.

'It's one of the pluses about me. what're you up to? anything important?' He texted me.

'Nothing really. Why?'

'I'm lonely. You wanna come over?' I paled at the message. I did want to see him, but was it a good idea to? I shrugged and felt that I couldn't regret going to see him.

'Sure, which room?' I asked him. If I was going to his room, I could find out who all stayed there and I could figure out exactly who he was.

'We're not meeting in my room, I know you'd figure out who I am if we do. Meet me in room 104, the door should be unlocked.'  Damn, and he was smart? I stood from my bed and put on my black converse. I laced them up and walked out of my room, locking the door behind me.

Room 104 was an abandoned room that no one stayed in. I had believed that only the janitors had access to the room, but I guess J knew someone. I turned the knob of the door after glancing around. I stepped inside and shut the door behind me. I was nervous and scared, the setting reminding me of a scary movie scene, where the girl goes looking for the murderer.

"Hey, J? You in here?" I asked aloud, my voice sounding shaky, even to my own ears. I heard shuffling in the corner and saw the outline of a tall, lean figure setting something on the floor. "Hey."

"Hey. You okay? You have no reason to be scared." He came over to me and slipped his hand into mine, squeezing it reassuringly. 

"I'm not scared." I lied. I was scared that something could happen to me, and no one would help. He leaned close, brushing his lips across my neck.

"You shouldn't lie." He said, his cool breath making me shiver slightly. He pulled on my hand and led me over to a couch that was in the middle of the dark room. We both sat down, our shoulders barely touching. "It's nice hearing your voice again, Alex."

"It's just my voice. Nothing special." I said shyly. He scoffed.

"You think that because you have the pleasure to hear it all the time." He said to me.

"I'm nervous." I admitted to him softly. He chuckled.

"No need to be. We can do whatever you're comfortable with." I folded my legs underneath myself.

"Okay. I'd like to kiss you." I told him.

"Go for it." He said. I leaned over to him and kissed him gently. I wasn't trying to really to do anything X-rated. I merely just wanted to kiss him. I hadn't realized how bad I had wanted to until I actually had. The feeling resembling the feeling of relief after wanting, or needing something so badly. His hands were on my waist while mine were tangled in his touchably soft hair. The deep need to kiss him was what made the kiss more heated. The fact that he was so secretive just made it seem more hot. "Fuck." He moaned out as I bit his neck. I smiled against his skin and sucked on the bite. I pulled back and looked at him, staring at the dark abysses that were where his eyes were.

"What colour are your eyes?" I asked him. His breathing slowed, and his thumbs rubbed small circles into my hips.

"Just a plain brown. Why?" J asked me. I shrugged.

"I was curious is all. I mean, you know what colour mine are, but I have no idea why you actually look like."

"Is my appearance that important? You still kiss me, you still proceed to want to talk to me. I like you, Alex. I just don't want to complicate things."

"I like you, J. For your personality, but how things are now are complicated. I have no idea what to say to other people. For all I know, you could have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, but are cheating on them with me. For God's sake, I don't even know your actual name."

"Dammit, Alex. I wanted to see you, touch you, kiss you. I'm not cheating on anyone. You can call me whatever you want to. You could call me...ugly bear or some shit, and I wouldn't care."

"Then let me call you by your real name."

"Please. Can we not talk about this anymore?"

"Fine." I leaned close and pressed my lips to his once more. "But I won't let this go."

"I don't want you to." He brushed a strand of hair away from my face. "I hope you'll continue to want me even after you do know who I am."

"You make it sound like I hate you."

"You don't. Or at least you claim to not hate me." He stopped talking. "I've said far too much. We both should go."

"But, J?" He sat up and kissed me again and stood. He offered a hand to me. I took it and he pulled me close to him.

"I promise. One day, we won't have to meet in dark places like this ever again." He kissed me roughly and left the room. I stood, stunned in the middle of that room, blanketed in the darkness that only had felt comfortable with J there. I sighed and left the room, no trace of J anywhere. I went back to my room. How he could still remain so secretive, even after my practically begging him to tell me his name, was beyond me. I fell back on my bed, silently vowing to not even bother going to class the next day. I was feeling emotional and class always seemed to make that even worse.

The next morning, around noon, I was sitting on my bed, writing a new song. I glanced at my bedroom clock. I knew the professor would be starting his lecture in a few minutes. I wondered if J was in class, taking notes. Or was he at home, thinking about me? Or was he with someone else, telling them the same sweet words he'd mutter to me? I shook the last thought from my head. I couldn't, and wouldn't ever let myself think that J was with someone else. I kind of saw myself as being with J, even if we weren't official. I was always one for relationships over one-night-stands. I wanted to be with J, more than anything. I wanted to let him know that I cared for him. But, I was scared, scared that I'd really lose myself in him. Scared that he'd hurt me, and would walk away like nothing had ever happened between us. I sighed. This thinking was breaking my heart and hurting my head. I shut my eyes and laid back down. No harm in having another midday nap? Was there?

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A/N: This is so late at night, not really, it's only like 10:40 something. But still. I usually upload in the afternoon. I'm sorry. Today was just stressful, and ugh, how was everyone's Halloween? I went as Vic Fuentes from Pierce The Veil. Yeah, you jelly? Probably not. I'll see you all tomorrow, and I love you all.