Sky Train
April 16, 2009
“I’m sorry.. I.. I can’t accept your love.”
The moment those words slipped off his tongue, I knew that my dream was over.
I stood there speechless, he stood there as if he made the best decision a man could make. I looked at him, my expression was still. He faced me, his eyes didn’t show a bit of regret in breaking my poor, flimsy heart.
“You’re wonderful and you deserve someone as wonderful as you are.. Tiffany. Save your love for the guy who deserves it.. I’m sorry. It’s not me.”
I closed my eyes, the next moment.. He was gone.
Did he just run away? I don’t know.
This is actually my second rejection in the row.
The first person I ever had the courage to confess to was Harry Blake, my senior. I thought that he was the most gentle guy who ever existed on earth. I enjoyed it every time he opens doors for me. When he chooses to sit next to me in our History Class even if there were lots of vacant seats with more comfortable location inside the room. I thought that we could be perfect. And so I told him that “I like you..”
But you know what the jerk did? He ran away as if the most horrible creature just appeared before his eyes.
Since when did a lady have to be treated that way? He could just tell me, “I’m sorry Mia.. We can’t be together.” That would be way better than to be yelled at with hurting words like.. “GET LOST!”
Imagine how I cried the whole night. So tragic. I know, right?
And now.. Here is Edward Thomas. A very good friend.
Stupid Edward who made me feel as if I am worth loving and I am capable to love and be loved. Stupid Edward who gave me reason to put my hopes a little higher than they used to be.
Edward whom I thought likes me, and was just afraid to tell me and so I did what I believed to be right—telling him I love him.
Unlike Harry the Jerk, Stupid Edward did the refusal in the gentlest manner he could which made the burden and bitterness in my heart lighter.
I decided to ride the sky train even though I know that it would take time before I could reach my home. I don’t want to go home yet. I want to assess what I feel first.
I sat in one of the benches in the subway as I waited for the train.
Accidentally, I my eyes caught a reflection on the glass wall that separates the waiting area of the train station to the managing office. I stared at the reflection of a young girl with deep brown eyes and dark brown, shoulder length hair falls on her white shirt gracefully. She looked very simple but her simplicity makes her beautiful. She is gay. She’s adventurous. She has face made out of steel. She is one of the best persons to hang out with.
But nobody knows that behind her sweet smile and endless laugh.. She is a lonely soul. All that she wanted is to be loved. But love seemed to be an elusive thing for her to claim.
I blinked my eyes again. The reflection was still there. It was then that I realized that I am staring at myself.
Is there something wrong on Harry or Edward’s eyes? Or is it my entire fault?
Maybe hitting on the guy first won’t do any good. Maybe it’s better to be lady like, wait for the right guy who would sweep me off my feet to come along. Now the big question.. Until when will I wait? O.O
“Chesmany route..” I heard the voice over called.
The train has just reached the station. The door opened and the people came out flooding. I boarded it immediately the moment people coming out from the train decreased.
Since it was already 10 in the evening, people riding the sky train has lessened. I was able to find a good spot to sit. The train was not crowded as it used to be in the peak hours of the day.
I sat hopelessly with the thought of giving up on finding the perfect guy for me on earth. I looked at outside the train and saw the stars. ‘Maybe.. Mr. Right belongs to another planet.’ I thought hopelessly.
Perhaps.. Love has no place for girls like me. Maybe love is for the finer ones, for the prettier, for those who seemingly reaching perfection.
From the night sky view outside, I shifted my gaze to my front. To my surprise, my eyes landed on the most beautiful creature I have ever since so far.
.
Luminous blue eyes. Ebony messy hair. Luscious red lips. Gleaming white pearls. Ruddy cheeks.
He looked like an angel. Was he even real? Or was this just a part of my hallucinations?
I stared at him until he caught me doing the act that made my heartbreak turned to fast heartbeats. For a second, I forgot how Edward broke me.
He smiled when he saw me looking at him. Humiliated, I looked down immediately.
Damn. How could this person make me feel this way when I don’t even know him?
For the next minutes of the ride, I made a total fool out of myself.
I tried to ignore him. But believe me or not.. It was not easy. I ended up stealing glances of him, and every time I do, he caught me looking.
Tell me how to stay calm when this beautiful person was just seating across to me.
I was starting to feel ecstatic when the train stopped. It has reached its third station. The train doors opened. When I raised my head to steal another glimpse of the angel.. I saw him stepping his foot out of the sky train. When I stood up to prevent him from leaving (Though I know that it would be very embarrassing.. Heck! I just wanted to know his name.), the door has already closed.
I stood at the door, on the window I took another one last look. I’pitied myself for not even grabbing the chance to get his name.
The angel has flown. I should’ve clipped his wings and made him mine. I was just too slow T_T
Or maybe another angel has planned this. Maybe that angel was bored and so he thought up that I should be with you.. Yet I have to face the truth. I can never have someone like him. He’s way too beautiful for my simplicity.
I sighed. When I turned to go back on the place where I sat the entire time, my eyes caught something from where he sat. It was a card. An identification card.
With the angel’s face pasted on it. His phone number was attached too.
And his name clearly printed in bold Times New Roman (boring font size) letters..
LOGAN MADISON
Perhaps hitting on a guy for the third time won’t hurt as the first and second time went.. Right? Or would it be nice to have another ride with him on the sky train?
Stupid thoughts.
I smiled.
One Step at a Time
One World, One Voice
Open Hearts
Out of the Blue
Out of this World
Outside the Lines
Picture Perfect
Plain Jane
Poems of the Heart and Mind
Poetry in Motion
