Greyskin

Chapter 5. Soul-searching in the desert.

While Sel walked away from the cave, he didn't have any purpose. He had one when he was born - survive. He had one when he grew up - hunt. He had one when he found something - protect. But each of those purposes was either fulfilled or failed. Now, there was no need to survive, to hunt, to protect. Sel had an empty life, devoid of anything or anyone to care about. He was a lone demon, just walking towards the place where the sun set. This lack of purpose somewhat reflected his blank facial expression.

The cave was in a forest, surrounded by trees and wild animals; it was a good place for demons to prosper. It was easy to hide and lay ambush or to hunt and prey upon animals. It hid them from prying eyes and sheltered them from the harsh environment. It was their home. It was home no more.

Now, Sel was walking away, hoping to get away. The fire was still within him, burning, pushing him to be a demon. But now there was also light, the shining ray that belong to precious little girl. Two forces pushing against one another, one of peace and other of defilement. And It was Sel who kept them so close together.

He walked, unsure of what to do. He wanted to disappear from the world, to follow the girl that brought him peace. But the fire within didn't let him. Whenever he met a beast, no matter his injuries or bruises, the fire burned on and healed him. There were no dangers enough for Sel. So, he pushed on, hoping to reach the place where sun disappeared.

As he walked away from the cave, the forest changed into open grasslands. There were rare trees, some bushes and a lot of grass. There were hills that Sel had to climb or descend from. There were animals he could hunt for food. But there was no danger.

The sight could be called beautiful, if one knew beauty. But the lone greyskin knew of no such thing, he only knew sorrow and hunger. Two things that couldn't be fixed.

Sel pushed on, hoping to still reach the place where sun dives and drown his life in darkness. He knew that there must be something, something to end him or to give him purpose. Now, Sel was nothing more than a cloud of despair, hurting and hoping to end it. And at the center of that cloud burned a flame, no longer just a raging fire threatening to consume everything, but also a small light, wavering at the unfairness of the world.

Who knows for how long he has traveled. He only walked and ate, barely ever stopping to rest. His grey eyes were empty; he seemed to be truly blind, not seeing a direction to go in, other than towards the setting sun. If somebody met him, they would try to help a blind man, but it would be useless. No one could help him then.

This was the ultimate soul searching, a single soul searching for another, the one that was lost. A soul, walking in solitude, hoping to reunite with the girl that was gone. A lot of things could be said, that would be lyrical and poetic, beautiful and fitting to this situation. But truly, it was only a journey of a demon, not knowing whether he should burn the world or conquer it.

At some point the grasslands began turning into a desert. The islands of grass ended, revealing sands, like ocean of tiny particles carried forward by the winds. Everywhere were giant waves of sand, frozen in time, only moving under the pressure of the rolling currents of air. The sun was blazing more than before, trying to burn the lonesome demon, but it still hid beyond the horizon every night.

At night the blazing heat turned into the bone-chilling cold, but to Sel it made no difference. He wasn't bothered by either, his fel nature made him resistant to either extreme. He simply walked.

What did bother him was hunger. In desert, food and water are scarce, so the further he walked the less of either he could find. There were rare scorpions or cacti, but otherwise, the hunger ate away at Sel, making the fire within burn hotter.