What happened to my old perfect life?

Chapter 4

"Yes, I'm going to help you by coming here. A few days ago you stated you don't have faith anymore so I'm going to assist you to get it back," he told me as I got out of the car and walked next to him.

"By coming to a church? And I don't believe in God anymore because if God exists, he wouldn't have let me pass from all that I passed from! And if he exists he-"

"No more ifs! You don't know God's plan for you, maybe from all the things you passed, your life would get better. You need to have difficulties in your life if you don't,you won't have success. You can't have a rainbow without rain!"

"Matt I don't-" I started protesting as we arrived next to the church's door. I started feeling nervous and afraid.

"Just try this! The priest in here is very friendly.Let's  go and talk to him I'm positively sure he'll help you," he grabbed my hand and dragged me in with him. I had no other option, but to walk after him.

Walking into the church I felt a strange feeling in me. I kept walking after Matt and then when we made it to the front we sat on a bench. He got on his knees and started praying. I could hear him mumbling. I stood there awkwardly without knowing what I should do or say, I haven't prayed or spoken with God for 2 whole years and now I am here, in a church!

Something in me told me that I should get on my knees and start to pray. And I obeyed. I got on my knees and I told him;

"I'm sorry for not speaking to you all this long, I guess I wanted to be alone, even though I know I can't be alone and I don't even want to be alone. I wish to be that girl who used to be in my old perfect life, not the one who is always surrounded with people who in reality don't really love her, but the one that used to believe in you! I remember it just as if it was yesterday, I used to go to church every day. I remember how I used to help people and sometimes I told them that I'll pray for them and when I see them after they used to tell me that they got better. And that is what I call faith, which I need back. I'm going to fight for it! But I need your help. Please do help me... I really need your help! Thanks for everything!"

Saying this the strange feeling that I had before it somehow felt as if it came stronger. I felt someone looking at me but, when I turned around, the only thing that I saw was the empty benches, even Matt left. Breaking my thoughts, Matt told me, "I think we'll have to come another time ,the priest isn't here."

"Matt there is no need, I arranged everything with God!" I admitted and got up.

"Told ya!" He bluffed teasingly.

"Thanks by the way," I smiled.

"It's okay. Now we should go because they are going to close it soon."

We got in the car and he drove me back home because I was feeling tired. It was true that I was feeling tired, but there was something that I needed to know. I opened up my laptop and I began to read.

Dear diary, 

Being alone isn't something that bothers me, but curiosity and hurt are. All I want to know is why they are doing this to me.They are those who I call family and those whotaught me what love is by showing it to me. And now? They are having a family vacation without me, it's not even supposed to be called family vacation if not the whole family is there.

My life is getting worse and worst as seconds pass by. First my best friend tells me that she is going to make my life a hell and now my family goes on a family vacation without me. Wait! She said she's going to make my life a misery, didn't she? So is this  part of her plan as well? I definitely need to do something about it, I can't let her win. I should think of a plan for sure!

Guess I have to thinklater what I should do the doorbell just rang. Who might come at this time of the night? Got to go and see who is there if I don't return back, please may this be not read by anyone.

Update you later!

*End of diary*

Who was the person that came at that time? I thought to myself, my memory was never good. Well, I will get to know tomorrow I better go to sleep, I have work tomorrow.