How Can I Ever Get Past This

How Can I Ever Get PastThis Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I woke up it was about 5:30 in the morning. I hadn't been to school in two days. I decided to go today so people wouldn't start getting suspicious. I went ahead and got in the shower and got dressed. I wanted to get to school early so I could ignore everybody. I had received more calls from Kaylin and a few from Andrea. I had also received some text messages.

From: Kaylin

We Rlly Need 2 Talk

From: Andrea

Why Wud U Do Dat

I had no idea what they meant but I ignored them I didn't have the nerve to talk to them. I felt so ashamed.

 I got in my car and drove to school. I got there like thirty minutes early. I went straight to my first period and sat in my seat. I put my head down and took in deep breaths. I could do this. I could get through this day. I knew I would have to see Nate today. I already knew that before I came, but I had to face it that's how I would deal with it. The bell rung signaling the start of the day.

Had thirty minutes really past? Students shuffled into the class. Nobody was really in this class. I put my head down once again and fell asleep. The bell rung startling me.

"Ms.Sydney I'd like you to stay up next time during my class" Mr. Watson said. I replied with an 'I'm sorry' and 'okay'.

I walked out of the class and I spotted Andrea. I called out her name. She looked at me, rolled her eyes, and started back walking to where she was headed. I called her name again and she ignored me.

What was going on? She was my best friend and she just ignored me. I felt the tears coming, but I wouldn't let them come. I headed to second period. I sat down. Why would she ignore me like that? Maybe she was ignoring me because I ignored her phone calls. Is that why she was mad? But when something like that usually happened she would ask me what was up with me and why was I being a bitch. I thought about the day ahead. What I really dreaded was going to lunch and six period with Nate. I truly didn’t know if I could handle it.

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The bell ranged signaling for lunch. I sighed in and took in a deep breath. You can do this Sydney. You can do this. Everybody had left out the class already. I grabbed my purse and got up and headed to lunch. I looked down towards my feet you can do this. You can do this. I looked up and saw Nate and Kaylin talking. My boyfriend was talking to the guy that had raped me. I couldn't do this! I turned around and briskly walked to the other side of the school to the girl's bathroom. I walked in and no one was in there which was my reason for coming to the bathroom on the other side of the school. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked the same but at the same time I looked so different. That night flashed through my mind. I immediately got sick. I rushed to the stall and puked my guts out. When I was finished I rinsed out my mouth and splashed water on my face. I headed out the bathroom the bell would be ringing pretty soon.

"Syd" I froze

"Sydney" he said again. What should I do? What should I do? I turned around to face him.

"Kaylin" I whispered. I looked into his eyes and guilt immediately washed over me. He looked hurt and pained.

"Sydney what's going on? You ignore my phone calls and text messages. I come to your house and you won't answer the door."

"Kaylin I wasn't ignoring--"

"Oh really were you not there when I knocked on your door and begged you to answer" He questioned angrily.