YouTube Rookie (J-Fred Fanfiction)

28 | I Choose You.

[Joey's POV]

I finally see her. She's in tears, again, just like the last time I saw her. I watch as Sab stares at Cali as she weakly drops down to her knees and just stays there and cries.

Tears building up, I breathe heavily as it hurts to watch her in pain like that. She's crying because of me, an occasion I never ever wanted to happen.

Just peeking at her door, I listen to her sob as she holds Cali's head, rubbing it saying, "Oh, Cali." She hugs her and sobs again, "I..." She fights her tears as she heavily says, "I miss him."

And with that, I cry silently as I cling onto the door. Leaning my head onto it, I respond, "I goddamn miss you more."

Wide eyed, she stares at me, no cold in her eyes anymore. Just plain hurt and sadness with her hair still wet fresh from bathe yet her eyes look puffy as ever.

"Joey." she acknowledges. She stones up, staying in a scared way, hugging her knees as I crouch down to sit with her on the floor.

I don't speak, not a single word. I didn't think twice. I just hug her. I throw myself at her, wrapping her around my arms, snuggling her head on the crane of my neck, the hug I longed for for 3 long days.

She cries instantly, wetting the crane of my neck. She sobs so hard as we both comfort ourselves with each other's cries.

Sab tugs me, pulling me closer with one arm. She's clinging onto me, like she needs the strength, like I do.

As she hugs me back, that's when I realize, one hug of hers just pulls all my broken pieces back together again. The weakness I've been suffering for the past 3 days was then lost.

All I managed to say was, "I am sorry." I am, truly. What else is there to say? I didn't come here to make excuses, nor fight for my side of the story. I came here lowering my pride, acknowledging my mistakes, owning up to them and trying to solve it. All for her.

I'm all out. I pour, "It was wrong to think of using you that way. Yes, at first, it made me crave for the views I could get, and the attention it'd draw for my supporters. I never meant to hurt you and it was more than just for freaking views, Sab."

She lessens he sobs now as she intensely listens to me still being cradled in my chest. I continue, "These past 3 days have been hell for me. I miss you, us. When you we're apart from me, I was a wreck." I struggle with words as I drown in my tears.

"I.." I cough. "I was empty and hollow and you, without you in my routine and system, everything made no sense. You who keeps my sanity in tact." There's no turning back now. "Every damn minute of those 3 days of hell, I thought of you and only you. I was worried, regretful, pained, name it."

"I'm in love with you, Joey Sabrina. It's insane and falling too fast. How could you ever think I meant to hurt you?" I state.

With conviction, I say, "I am sorry for hurting you. But, no. I am not sorry for falling inlove with you, Sab."

She glides her fingers through the sides of neck as her tears fall on my shirt. Sab then looks up to me, supporting my head on her palm with her eyes so puffed up, exhausted. "I was hurt." she points out.

"I know, and I hate myself for that." I can't look at her directly in the eyes. Noticing that I was avoiding eye contact, she raises my face to meet her eyes. I then say, "I just wanted to apologize."

I continue directly staring at her, "I'm not worthy of you." with a tear shedding.

Sab rests her forehead on mine as she says slowly emphasizing each word, "I forgive you." I shake my head choosing not to believe what she just said.