Gasoline ➳ troyler a.u

doce

Chapter 12- not worth it

about 3-4 weeks later...

Troye's POV

I couldn't get my mind off of him. I just couldn't. With that newfound information, I couldn't not think about him. It's not that I pitied him, I just don't want him doing that to himself. He doesn't deserve that. I know how bad eating disorders can get and I don't want him to fall into that.

Wait, why do I care about him? I literally hated him just last week and I can't change how I feel just like that. Seriously, get it together, Troye.

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I woke up, the next morning, feeling utterly exhausted, staying up almost the whole night. Knowing I had school again today, I got up and went to take a shower.

After my shower, I decided to style my hair into a quiff, as always. I wore a plain grey jumper with my usual jeans and converse. Knowing I had gym today, I brought a change of clothes with me, remembering to bring a sweater simply because of the scars.

I walked outside, to be greeted by Caspar driving, rather than Connor. Maybe he decided to use his car today? Brushing it off, I hopped in, looking at my car parked in the driveway. I felt bad simply because besides Steele and my dad, I was the only one who could drive, and Steele was off at college, leaving his car off limits, whilst my dad used his car for work every morning. I was perfectly capable of driving my younger brother and sister, but in all honesty, why would I want to?

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Literally the whole day, I couldn't stop thinking or staring at Tyler. Before I even knew him I thought of him as some horrible person who stooped down to Cameron's level, but he doesn't seem like that.

He needs reassurance.

He needs to know he's perfect, and that he's worthy of eating, and that depriving himself of food won't help with anything except deteriorating himself.

I decided that I was going to talk to him, but I just didn't know how. I set such a mean impression and all I'd really result in doing would be confuse him. I don't want that.

In fact, why was I even doing this? I said it wasn't out of pity, but then what was it for? Seriously, you can help him get better but not develop any actual genuine feelings.

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I noticed how hard he worked himself in gym class. We had our mile run today, and not once did he decide to slow down despite how tired he looked.

Tyler's POV

I felt like I was dying. Our school likes to do this thing for the gym students, where they would have mile runs unexpectedly, and completing all of them made up 45% of our grade. I wanted to tell myself I was doing it for the grade, but I would be lying through my teeth. I wasn't doing it for the grade. I was doing it for the calories I could burn. I didn't care, if I hadn't eaten for three days, or how I feel like hell.

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After the run, they let us go back to shower and change. I got there early to the showers, honestly really grateful, considering most of the gym class were boys anyway.

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I was in the midst of getting my shirt back on when I saw him again.