Gasoline ➳ troyler a.u

deciocho

Troye's POV

"Troye! Wake up!" Sage yelled from the end of the corridor. I rubbed my eyes groggily, only to remember I had school. My eyes widened as I hastily got out of bed, doing a double take noticing I still had my clothes from yesterday on, despite the fact they got soaked in the rain.

Then I recalled the events of last night. Not to mention, the books I fell asleep on leaving me sore gave me a good idea of what happened.

-

"This is your stop, Ty" I said, feeling the slightest bit of disappointment for whatever reason. The train slowed down as we entered the station.

"I had a lot of fun today, Troye, see you tomorrow?" Tyler said before the doors opened.

"Of course!" I replied without even thinking. He waved bye and left, not noticing my burst of sudden happiness. I didn't know why, maybe it was because he was about to leave and I just gave him an answer to give him an answer?

I stumbled as the train abruptly started up again, and under instinct I grabbed the top railing. I was never much of a sitter on trains. Though the railings and poles are dirty, God knows what's been on that seat. And since only taller people could reach the top, it's not like it would be covered in germs like the middle poles. Eugh.

I pulled out my phone and played a song, and it just so happened that the song was Strange Love, by Halsey. Oh boy.

-

I walked to my bathroom and shut the door, only to wince as my eyes tried to adjust to the bright light. I stripped away my clothes in which I wore yesterday and turned on the shower.

-

I got out of the shower about twenty minutes later to hear my phone vibrate on the counter. My heart jumped, but the short lived excitement came to an end once I saw that the caller ID was just Connor. He is my best friend and all, but I just assumed it was someone else.

-

"Hey Con!"

"Hey Troye, Caspar said he would drive us today, is that alright?"

"Yeah, of course, why wouldn't it be?"

"N-no reason, I'll talk to you later, Troye."

-

Well, that was a bit strange. I brushed it off anyway. For whatever reason, I wanted to make sure I looked nice. For a long time I've looked just plausible because I didn't feel a need -- or a want to care for my appearance.

I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked back to the dresser to look for something out of my usual aesthetic. Red was too bold for me, and I wasn't ready to step outside my comfort zone just yet. Other than that, I didn't have much to wear outside of my usual aesthetic.

Decided that I was running short on time, I settled a grey jumper with my usual black jeans. I slipped on my original converse and by the time my hair was semi dry. I decided against the quiff since my hair was growing back longer and curly anyway, and I was running late on time anyway. (His hair is basically his 2015-2016 hair, basically his hair in his newer videos or on the blue neighbourhood album cover.)

By the time I was settled, it was time for me to greet Caspar and Connor outside. I walked down the stairs, feeling strange that for once I wasn't in a rush to go to school today.

The rest of the morning was an utter blur. To my surprise, a lot of students didn't bother to show to the first few periods. Tyler, was among that bunch. Moreover, he couldn't make it to first or second period to be with the nurse or something. Granted, it's good that he's finally getting help, but that doesn't change how I feel about him.

Tyler's POV

This isn't helping me at all.

I fucking hate it here.

This place smells way too sterile.

This nurse has been working here for longer than I have been alive.

Why am I in this place?

"Now, Tyler, you're not in trouble or anything, i only requested that you come down here because your football game is taking place later in the month and you need to have a re-evaluated physical in order to play. There's issues with the printer so I'm going to ask that you sit here and wait." She answered, almost as if she could read my mind. (I swear if you guys mention "freak")

Not that I was in some rush to go to math or gym, but I utterly hate the nurses office. There was something about her always so off putting that i tried to avoid her whenever possible. With everything that has been going on this school year so far, it makes sense that I would be here, but who would've thought it would've been for just some paperwork?

Luckily for me, the bruises have healed quite a bit, though they're still visible. My eye is probably worse of all, but at least my glasses reflect light making it just a bit less noticeable. Moreover, everyone just believes it was some sporting accident.

Not like my self esteem has gone any better either. I hate that I can't bring myself to eat anything simply because I just feel so fat, but a part of me thinks that's a blessing. Every time a part of me believes, even for a second that I may be okay with my image, I automatically find something to hate about myself. My thighs are fucking huge. I still have some cheek fat. My abs show but just not enough. My collarbones are not visible enough. I just want to be skinny. I just want to be happy.

It is currently 3:07 am in the morning on January first, 2017. Why am I up so late writing this? I've recently got out of my writers block and I've realised that a lot of troyler books are not complete on Wattpad, and though it's 2017 and almost no one ships troyler anymore, I hate knowing that I left something uncompleted. So with that, thank you for reading, and I'll try to update more frequently, much love
-Erica