January 14, 2010

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Dear Shell Of The Girl I Used To Love,

I talked to Shawn today. He told me to face my fears. Told me to suck it up and talk to you. He told me that we both needed peace and that the only way to do so is to talk to you. Give us closer.

I can't, My Little Snowflake. If I do, it makes the past real. It'll hurt worse. I'll cry. I'll scream. You might run away.

I haven't heard from Jen in a week. Is it bad I don't care? Is it bad I only look at you? Is it bad that I just want you back into my arms?

Why's life hard, N? Why does it punish us? Why did we get chosen to be broken?

We were fine before, right?

We were in love or was it all a façade like the people we are in the present?

Why won't you look at me? Or even notice my existence? Why can't you open your eyes and forget the past?

Better yet, why can't I let go? Why can't I stop feeling? Why can't I get you out of my head? Why can't I shake of the thoughts and possibilities?

Why'd I let you feel pain?

Why am I such a slip up? Such a mess up?

Sincerely,
The Shell Of The Guy You Used To Love

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Lots of questions, but no one there to answer them.

Thoughts?

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XOXO, CMS

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