Online n.h

Twenty One

1amgrunge: "You grew flowers in my lungs, and although they were beautiful, I couldn't breathe."

12pmpunk: "Fear might be the death of me. Fear leads to anxiety. Don't know what's inside of me. Don't forget about me."

(*chris brown voice* Y'all thought it was over? Hahaha)

I logged off of tumblr and lazily got up. I took a cold shower to represent my cold ass heart for destroying good things. I got dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants. No need to impress anyone anymore.

I trudged over to the kitchen and grabbed a granola bar. I have lost my appetite. "What will we do now, we've lost it to trying. We've lost it to-" My phone rang and I picked up not bothering to see the contact name.

"Hmph?" I said sleepily.

"Lauren? Are you okay, we got the news." I heard Liam's caring voice ring.

"I'm fine." I said bitterly and choked back the lump forming in my throat.

"We all know you aren't. Do you want us to come over?" He asked.

"I'm fine. I'm alive, so that's good isn't it?" I said sarcastically laughing at the end.

"Lauren, we care for you. We love you and want what's best for you. See you soon." He said and I hung up in response. Rude? Yes, but I'm not in the mood for anything.

I walked over to my couch and slammed my body down on it. I sighed and watched movies that made all the tears I had in my body fall.

I heard a knock at the door and I got up to answer it. "Oh god, you look awful." Liam said and brought me in for a hug. I just laid limply with an emotionless face.

I went over and sat back down on the couch with the boys trailing behind. I looked at them glumly. "Are you okay?" Zayn asked sitting by me and wrapping an arm across my shoulders and rubbing my arm in a comforting manner.

"I'm fine." I said.

"Where's that beautiful smile?" Louis said coming up to my face and putting his fingers by the corner of my mouth lifting up to form a smile.

I heard another knock and got up answering the door. "Marcel, what are you doing?" I asked.

"I know you aren't okay." He said and pulled me in. I sighed and led him over to the couch.

"How are you feeling right now, love?" Harry asked.

"Empty." I admitted.

"What do you mean by empty, is there something else?" Liam asked adding on to what Harry had asked.

"Tired, but its the kind of tired where it isn't because of sleep. My body if full of so many organs yet, I feel so fucking empty." I explained.

"Have you ate?" Louis asked trying to lift up my shirt.

"Um yeah." I said looking down to the floor not wanting to look at them in the eye.

"Lauren, have you ate anything?" Marcel asked concerningly.

"Yes." I said. The boys eyed my shirt and I lifted it up enough to where you can see most of my stomach. They gasped and shook their heads.

"We can see your spine and rib cage, Lauren! This is not healthy." Louis exclaimed waving his arms around in emphasis.