bittersweet

I Wish...

I wish I told you everything
But what if?
What if you turn?
What if you don't care?
What if you break my heart?

I wish everything was simple
Like your smile
And your dimples
I want to turn the dial
To when I was five
And my only problem was being sleepy
And not my smile.

I wish to go back
To when I took insults lightly
And don't have them stuck in my head
Nightly
I want to go back to when I smiled
And I meant it
To when crayons and candy
Was all I wanted
And not a different body.

I wish it was simple
It never is
For these are memories
Fake ones in fact
I always took everything to heart
Until now I realize
They meant nothing since the start
And I memorized
The words
Called self respect
Self love
Not bragging
But simply
Excepting
Seeing
The world doesn't revolve around me
But me around the world
I'm only me
And I can't (won't) do anything to change it
I feel
If I do
I won't be really
Happy.

I wish I wasn't
I've been their expectations
I've been their experiments
Their guinea pig
And I never want truly happy
Until now
I finally am seeing

I wish I can sleep
Peacefully and deep
But all these thoughts
Keep crowding my mind
And song lyrics
Are easy to find
Especially to explain

I wish
I was
I wish
I'm not
I wish
Upon the star
On the right
I wish I may
I wish I might
I wish I can see
The sky shine bright
I wish I see
All the days to come
I wish everything
In this world
Was not so dangerous
I wish
I was in the past
So I can be happy
Like the older lads
With memories
And reminisce
All the simple times
I wish it was simple
I wish....