Damian and Mar'i Demonfire

Worry

(This is a sequel story to the last story Lian)

I'm just laying on the sofa in my apartment, doing nothing. Well, not necessarily doing nothing.  I suppose I'm thinking.

It's been a few days since my FaceTime chat with Lian.  And I just can't stop thinking about what she said.

"I'm not quite sure how you can derive any joy from, like, marrying Damian, and giving birth to his babies, although he would probably call it producing his heirs-"

I know that she was just joking, but what she said has been bothering me since that FaceTime call.

Producing his heirs.

Those three words have been in my mind, no matter how much I tried not to think about them. Why did Damian decide to date me?

I'm not quite sure what exactly he would see in me, although I'm not trying to be self-deprecating. I guess I'm okay to be around. I'm generally nice and friendly. Although I'm not quite sure what personality traits Damian would be looking for in a girl. He's rather hard to tell. But what if Damian didn't choose me for my personality. What if he only chose me for...

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be arrogant or vain, but I'm actually quite okay-looking. I mean, I did choose to become a model, and my modeling career has actually been doing well.

Still, the thought of Damian only choosing me to be his brood mare, it just bothers me. Then again, who wouldn't be troubled if they suspected their boyfriend or girlfriend only wanted sex?

This isn't really a topic I want to discuss with anyone, especially Damian. I really don't want to know what his reaction would be like.

My cellphone starts ringing, disrupting my thoughts. I sit up from the sofa and pick up the phone from the coffee table. The caller ID is Damian. I answer.

"Hey," I say causally, pretending as if I wasn't just thinking about him only wanting me for sex.

"Beloved," he simply says back. "I've finished my work at Wayne Enterprises early, so I'll be able to arrive at your apartment in a few minutes."

"Okay." I almost forgot.  Damian and I will be having a date night at my apartment tonight.

I clear my throat, and put more enthusiasm into my voice.  "Great, see you soon."  I hang up.

Soon, I hear knocking at my door.  Through the peephole, I can see Damian standing outside, waiting for me to let him in.

"Hey," I greet him, as I open the door, allowing him to come inside. As soon as I close the door, Damian puts a hand on my waist and pulls me into a quick kiss.

He breaks the kiss. "Tt," he is all he says. We both go over to the sofa and sit down.

"So, I'm not really that hungry, but what were you thinking for dinner?" I ask Damian.

"I am not hungry either." He's now smirking at me. "I just want you all to myself," he says a bit darkly.

That last sentence sort of makes me a bit uneasy. What does he mean by that? Damian then grabs my waist with his hands, and starts to lean over my body, forcing me to lie down on the sofa. Once he's lying atop of me, he starts to kiss me.

I kiss him back, but I'm not that into it. Every time Damian kisses me, I feel an uncomfortable churning in my stomach. I keep thinking about that conversation I had with Lian. I feel as if I'm only reciprocating the kisses out of obligation.

Damian is at my neck, when he notices the barely hidden uneasy look on my face. He stops kissing my collarbone, and gets off of me, allowing both of us to sit up on the sofa. I frown down at my hands, refusing to look at him.

"Beloved, what is wrong?" Damian looks rather concerned. "If you were not very comfortable, then we do not have to kiss while lying down-"

"No, it's not that, it's just..." Oh X'hal.

I feel so embarrassed now. My mouth feels like sandpaper.  I'm blushing like crazy. I can't bring myself to finish my sentence. The words just won't leave my mouth.

"Just what Mar'i?" Damian asks gently. He grasps my hands in his. I don't pull them away. This contact between us makes me feel more stable, but I still feel rather abashed. Point of no return I guess.

"I'm not that stupid you know. I mean, some guys only want girls for this, but-"

"Mar'i, what is it?" Damian sounds rather serious now. His expression is too. His hands tighten around mine.

"Well, I just, can't help thinking-" There's no going back now. I force myself to keep talking. "That you would only choose me, for, well... that."

I don't want to say intimacy, or sex.  But I'm pretty sure Damian knows what I'm talking about.

I'm not frowning anymore, but the blush is still there, even more than it was before. I look up from my hands to see Damian's reaction.

Damian simply looks at me for a moment, taken aback. And then, he scowls at me, while slightly glaring.

"Mar'i, why would you think, that for a moment, I would only desire you for your body, and procreating?" he hisses. His voice is full of disgust.

"Why would you think that I would only choose to date you for physical reasons only?"

His grip around my hands has tightened.  There's a bit of a snarl on his face. A small trace of animalistic fury is knitted in the snarl.  But I can see a bit of hurt in his eyes too.

He looks betrayed.

A great sinking feeling plunges in my stomach.  I feel awful now. Awful for accusing him.

"I'm sorry, it was a stupid-"

"No, I don't want to hear it," interrupts Damian.  Now, I'm worried that Damian will cut off the circulation in my wrists.

"I-I only-," but Damian cuts me off. He continues to glare at me angrily. Then, he lets go of my hands and grabs my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. My eyes meet his angry ones.  His voice goes quieter.

"Dammit Mar'i, I love you. I chose to pursue this relationship, because I wanted to.  Not for breeding purposes."

Damian's expression is kind of scary.  I try turning my face away from him, but Damian lifts my chin, keeping my head where it is.  His volume is close to a whisper now.

"I want to be with you, for as long as I can. And if I only ever wanted you for vile, physical reasons, then I could just be damned to hell already."

X'hal.  That passion was... unexpected. Yet comforting. Damian looks more serious than angry now. His hand tilting my chin up moves to cup my face. I seriously feel guilty for making him so angry. Wow, I'm stupid.

"Damian, I am so sorry, I never should've-" but Damian pulls me into a long, deep kiss, effectively cutting off my apology. I sigh blissfully into it. Like an idiot.  A relieved, happy idiot.

When we need to catch our breath, Damian finally breaks the kiss, but he doesn't pull his hand away from my face. Neither does his other hand let go of me.

"There is no need to apologize beloved. You had every right to worry."

There's a surprising gentleness in his voice. He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, and starts to caress my face.

My emotions feel so screwed up now. Purple fire may as well be set to my hair now. But it doesn't. Instead, I allow Damian to distract me from my mind.