With Your Love

Chapter 59

Chapter 59

I clutched onto myself, my fingernails digging into my skin to try to make me feel something. I glanced around as people around me cried, wishing our beloved girl goodbye. I glanced down at my dress, my tears falling quickly, making wet splashes onto my black dress. My heart thumped against my ribcage erratically as my hands started to moisten with sweat.

How could she be gone? This can’t be real, she can’t leave me. The walls of the church started to close in as two words played in my mind over and over until I couldn’t take it.

She’s gone

She’s gone

She’s gone

My hands flew frantically to my scalp as I started to pull onto my hair, trying to wake myself from this nightmare. I felt absolutely nothing.

My shoulders started to shake violently as I glanced around the church. Everywhere I turned I saw little blobs of black, my tears blurring my eyesight. People were crying, some were sobbing and I was losing it. I heard Niall’s voice coming from next to me asking if I was alright but I couldn’t form words. My mind was racing, the walls closing in with every passing second. I gasped for air, but no oxygen reached my lungs, causing me to glance around frantically.

“Valerie, please.” I couldn’t even register who was speaking to me, just two simple words replaying in my mind over and over until I too wanted to be gone.

The image of her wearing her favorite sundress flashed through my eyes, and I couldn’t help but reach out for it. I wanted to hold her, kiss the top of her bald head, hold her tightly and protect her from the dangers of the world. I failed her, I lost her.

I promised I wouldn’t let any harm come her way.

No air managed to make its way into my lungs causing me to scream out and gasp frantically. My name was being called from all around me and all I could do was pull my hair trying to disappear.

It took me a couple moments to realize that I was running, towards her. To the girl who had left with my everything.

I threw my limp body across her closed casket, finally being able to get a breath of air into my lungs. The tears fell frantically as if my time was limited, but it took me a couple seconds to realize that my time had already run out.

I jolted awake to the sound of name, my cheeks wet with tears. I blinked furiously, trying to see clearly, trying to get the tears out of my vision. I looked around the hospital to see where the sound of my name was coming from and it took me a couple seconds to notice the bodies that were standing above me.  I shot up from where I was sitting and looked around to see my mum, Jessie, Taylor, Josh and Niall huddled next to me.

I tried to say something but my throat was dry and all I could manage was a chocked sob.

It was all a dream

It felt so real, the pain in my chest, the pain in my heart.

“Sh baby it’s okay. Lacey’s fine. We tried waking you, but you were so into this nightmare, baby I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” Niall’s soft voice made my heart slow down a little, a sense of comfort and safety falling over me like a blanket.  

I nodded slightly, and noticed some of the worry leave the faces of my friends of family.

“We were so so worried Valerie. You dozed off when we were all watching a movie with Lace so Niall bought you out in the waiting area and you both fell asleep for a bit. He heard you crying so he woke up and he tried to wake you, but you just kept crying.” Taylor told me slightly, grasping my hand into hers. I took in a shaky breath, trying to calm myself down. Lacey was okay, everything was alright.