Die In Your Arms

Chapter 13.

"Why bother with me?" I asked all the nurses and doctors around. I knew I'd get no reply, but it was best to ask. My soul was ripping me apart, the voices whispered riddles into my ears. In the night, it's as if I have little to no control over my body. As if the voices were controlling me like a puppet.

Ever since my episode I've had more tests and more medication. My pills were grabbed out of my "hiding spot". My razors were in the trash. I was dying inside without them. I ran out of vodka. All I wanted was to be drunk or in pain. Either was fine. I never went out anymore, and Niall stopped coming. He doesn't even text or call me, but most of the time my phone is restricted because of some of the things I read about suicide and depression. All my thoughts were tortured and shackled by depression and suicide. But most of all, wanting to be a normal teen. This thing inside me is probably dead by now, which really upsets me. I went far enough to end a life instead of mine. But then again, I went to the doctor and they couldn't see anything. Maybe it just was a mistake. I never feel kicking, never have food cravings, just a suicidal teen.

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I kicked and screamed. I struggled to move out of it.

"Please," I cried out. "let me out!"

"Sweetie it's just a minute, please hang in there." my mother pleaded. I laid down and closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. As soon as I was out of this tube, it'll be okay. I'll be fine, might as well be calm now. I saw light from under my eyelids, and I opened them immediately. I was out of the torture tube. I hopped off the bed and ran to my mother, wrapping my arms around her. I cried and weeped for a long time, never letting go.

"Get me away from here, please."

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