Die In Your Arms

Chapter 8 - Does He Still Love Me?

Alexa's POV:

I stumbled down the hall to find her room number, I searched and searched. I found it and opened the door, but there was nothing in there except for a sheet covering over a bed. Ever so slowly I walked up to the bed, peeling off the sheet. I gasped at the corpse of Emily Grace. It was her, she was dead. She's dead.

I gasped and woke up, clutching onto my blanket. I ran down the hall to Emily Grace's room. A sheet was over the bed. "Just like my dream," I thought. I uncovered the bed and saw her, curled up sleeping. She is still alive, although barely breathing. I walked back down to my room and pulled out my phone, Saturday. I looked at my baby bump, I wondered if NIall still loved me.

Niall.

I pulled on a tanktop and skinny jeans, applying only mascara. I clicked on Niall's number.

"Meet me @ Nandos in 30 minutes! xox -Alexa"

I slipped my phone in my pocket and sat down. My head was spinning, everything was happening so quickly. My mind shut out all but what I told Alana yesterday.

"He murdered her." I muttered. "What?" "He hated her. He hated my mother so much he killed her off. Those weren't my parents on T.V. You had to look ever so closely to realise it wasn't them. I knew his plan, I overheard him on the phone. 'I'm sick of her,' he would say. I do recall when my mother was sobbing in the bathroom. I had grass stains on my shirt and jeans and I walked in, she had cuts all up and down her arm. 'Mommy, what's that?' I'd ask her. She'd tell me it's nothing and for me not to worry but I couldn't. She self harmed herself every day she was tortured." I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut. "After he killed her, he realized what he'd done." My voice was at the verge of a waver. "He took his old shotgun and told her, 'See you soon,' and shot himself." I leaked the table with tears and mascara.

I shuddered off the memory and walked to Nando's, it was a few blocks away so I didn't mind. This was the first time I'd gone anywhere without my beanie since I lost all my hair. I sat down at a table by myself and got vacant stares. The silence was killing me. I missed Niall's laugh and his smile and how he lights up a room when he walks in. I stiffened my shoulders and watched as Niall walked in. He smiled at me and I forced a smile on my face. "Hey!" he said, sitting in front of me. I smiled and it vanished quickly, I was tired of faking. "What's wrong?" I sighed in deeply. "I've been thinking a lot lately, and I didn't know if you still..ya know..like me." I trailed off and looked down at my shoes. "I still like you, Alexa. How could you think I don't like you?" "We just haven't talked in a while and I just, I dunno." The brisk air hits me as someone comes through the door. A tear rolled down my cheek and I didn't notice until it dripped off my chin onto my pants. It was silent for a few minutes until the waitress came up to us. I declined her offer but of course Niall did not. "You know, I hardly know you." laughed Niall. It startled me and I nodded and giggled. "I know everything about you," I said. I blushed madly at my 2 years of research on One Direction. "Do you have any siblings?" I felt tears sting in my eyes and let them slide down my cheeks. "Yeah. Her name was-" I started sobbing uncontrolably. "We don't have to talk about it.." I nodded and stood up, kissed Niall on the cheek, and left. I feel stupid, I just walked away and left like he didn't mean anything. The brisk air brushes against my face making chill bumps all over my body.

********

I woke up unwillingly and stumbled to my closet. I hate Mondays. I pulled out a simple striped shirt and jeans. My hands searched for my beanie and I clutched the soft wool that had brushed against my palms. I search my room for my old boots that barely fit anymore. Honestly, I wondered where my best friend had gone. I hadn't seen her since the concert. I stood outside and waited for the bus. The engine of it roared up the road to me, the brakes shreiking against the pavement. I walked up the stairs and sat up front and sat silently. The bus driver slammed the brakes, lodging me forward against the seat in front of me. A girl sat in front of me with dirty blonde hair and silver eyes sat beside me. She was very pretty, I was jealous. She whispered hi, but in reply I gave her a shy smile. I felt a strange urge to talk to her but it was so awkward I didn't say anything. A tiny speck of hair fell in front of my face and I moved it out of my eye, but it freely made its way back. Something about the girl reminded me of my sister and I didn't know why, she looked nothing like her. The rough smell of smoke lingers across my nose and I shove my nose into my sleeve. A person in the back had lit a cigar. "NO SMOKING ON THE BUS!" the bus driver yelled. She also said some..creative words. The boy tossed the lit cigar out the window and exhaled deeply, the smell of smoke stayed in our presence. "I bet it feels weird," the girl beside me said, "having to see all these other people with hair." Tears stung in my eyes and I faced the window. I just nodded as the tears flowed freely from my cheeks. I said nothing, my voice was going to be unstable for a while. I realize, I cry too much. Way too much. Sometimes it's useless. I wiped my tender eyes and sighed as mascara was smudged on my cheeks.

This was going to be a loooooong day.....