Die In Your Arms

Chapter 3 - Positive

Alexa's POV:

I woke up in a big bedroom, obviously it was Niall's because there was a huge leprechaun sticker stuck on the wall. I ran to the mirror, praying the cancer was just a dream, but it wasn't. I sighed at my bald head, I gritted my teeth and mumbled, "Ugly bald freak!" I made a fist and punched the glass, making open wounds on the back of my hand. The glass shattered all over the floor and Niall had heard it, running up to his room. I broke down on the floor crying, "Please don't hate me." He got out bandages from the cabinet, washed my wounds and wrapped them up. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and kissed my forehead. "Your perfect. We're gonna go back to the children's hospital." Once I heard "Children's" I instantly thought, Emily Grace. "Let's go, now." I commanded. I ran out in the rain to the car and hopped into the passenger seat, praying Emily was okay. Niall had a one-hand feel on the stirring wheel and the other holding my hand, running the back of it with his thumb.

I ran inside, running down the hall to Emily's room. I grasped onto her little pale hand, whispering, "Alexa's here." She gave me a weak smile and yawned. I looked at her doctor, giving her a "please-tell-me-what-will-happen-next" face. "We have to do the surgery, the tumor is very large and we have to try it." "When is it scheduled?" I gulped, not ready for the answer. "Wednesday at 7:00." I felt tears sting in my eyes.

I whispered in Emily's ear as I did yesterday,

"Come morning

light,

you I'll be

Safe and

Sound."

My heart was pounding in my chest. I could not lose the most important little girl in my life. I went into my room and was greeted by my doctor. "Oh, Lord. What happened?" I frowned. "I got really insecure and I got mad at my cancer, so I punched the mirror." I was pulled into a hug. "You're beautiful, with no hair you're more beautiful. You're perfect. I promise you, you're beautiful. I will never lie to you, Alexa." I looked into her eyes and cried.

Niall's POV:

I went up to the lady at the front desk. "Hello, what's Alexa Tanner's room number?" "107," she said, wiping a tear. I walked down the hall to her room, she and her doctor were in a hug. I knocked on the open door, breaking them apart. She ran up to me and jumped in my arms, then slowly letting loose. "Alexa?" She ran to a trash can and threw up. I felt so bad I didn't know what to do. "Can I take her to my place?" I asked. "Yeah. Let me give her some meds and she'll be set to go." I hated seeing Alexa in pain.

I pulled up to my flat and carried her in bridal style. She sat with me on the couch, sitting on my lap, she bends over and the space between us is gone and her warm breath tickles my lips. I gave her a warm kiss and she kissed back, I felt her smiling in the kiss. She stuck her hand under my shirt, rubbing her hands on my chest. I tugged on her shirt, hoping she wouldn't refuse. I pulled back on the kiss. "Are you ready?" She nodded at me, and I grabbed a blanket to cover us up.

Alexa's POV:

I wake up the next morning, on top of Niall. I stood up and realized I was naked, I quickly grabbed the blanket covering Niall. He immediately started freezing, causing him to wake up. He pulled the blanker off me, covering hisself up. "Niall!" I whined. I picked my clothes up off the floor and put them back on. My body was aching and I had realized what I had done last night. What was I thinking? "Niall, let's go to the bar." I said. It was 4:00 PM. How long were we up last night? "This early?" Niall pouted. "Yeah. It'll be pretty empty." I ran to the car, laying my head back on the seat.

When we arrived I went in, ordering just water. I sat down at a scratched wooden table an Niall sat with me. "You came here just to get water?" someone asked far away. I slammed the glass to the ground, shattering it into a million pieces. I ran out to the car and started feeling insecure again. I went to the bar to get water! How stupid am I? I opened the car door and slammed it shut, my knees squeezed against my chin. I closed my eyes and let the tears flow out of my eyes like a waterfall. Niall opened the car door. "Let's go to Nandos," he said, buckling up. I nodded because I couldn't say "yes."

I walked into Nandos, adjusting my beanie to cover my bald head. I sniffed a last time and sat down somewhere. "Want something to eat?" he asked. I shook my head no, blinking away a forgotten tear in my eye. I rested my head on the smooth table and closed my eyes, wishing cancer would die like I eventually will. I pulled out a napkin and searched for a pen in my purse. I fished one out and drew on the napkin. It was a bald girl, just like me, crying and slitting her wrists. I looked at the scars on my wrists and they reminded me of all the pain. No one could ever understand anything I felt. No one understood me, why I do what I do. They don't know my story, not even my name. I wanted to end my life before cancer did, but I swore I'd keep living for One Direction. No one knew I hid pills under my pillow and took them when I was depressed, it was killing me inside - literally - and I wish I could finally end it all.

But One Direction were saving my life.

But cancer was endangering it.

*****************************

I had always hid a pregnancy test in my purse in case I was raped on the spot or something. I ran to the bathroom and did my business on it, it was one of those quick ones that showed up in 3 minutes.

When I saw the answer I dropped it in horror. I could not believe what I was seeing.

Positive.