Dealing With Anxiety and Staying Strong

Therapy

I enrolled myself in therapy. I knew I couldn't continue to live life like this. I wanted to get better, and I wanted to get help. I couldn't let my anxiety win, and I didn't want to continue to feel the way I did. I wanted to conquer my anxiety, and I wanted to be in control of my life. I wanted to be set free from my anxiety. Every day I felt chained up, and I felt like I never had a voice because of my anxiety. I wanted to find my voice, and I wanted to be me again.

I had three doctors help me. My doctors showed me the potential that I never did see in myself. I started taking anxiety medication which helped me improve by 95%. I know there are people out there who don't like antidepressants, but they need to understand that it isn't forever. If a person has really been struggling with anxiety and depression, or any mental illness, and they need medication, then all the person needs is love and support. It's okay to not understand it and be cautious about it, but giving tons of support and love helps a lot.

My medication made me not as anxious anymore, and I could actually go places and do things without having to worry or doubt myself. I became more outgoing, and I found myself becoming more of an extrovert. I noticed I could easily talk to the people around me, and it started to bring tears to my eyes because I felt better. I felt truly happy.

I learned a lot in therapy. I learned that I'm a child of addicts. It was really hard to process that I'm a child of addicts. When my therapist told me, I didn't know how to react, so I sat there eyes wide, and I was blank. I was shocked. People hear about things like that all the time, but when I got told it was me, I didn't know what to say or do, so I just sat there and said, "Really?"

I am a child of addicts.

It made sense. Alcohol was the family curse. I had to break the curse and tell myself that I don't need it, and I don't need it. Sure, alcohol will help me feel better in the moment, but it won't help me in the long run. My problems will still be there in the morning. Drinking won't solve anything, and drinking excessively can really hurt my health, and it took me a while to realize that.

I also learned that my family isn't 'normal'. What I've seen growing up is what I thought was normal, but I learned that it wasn't. I learned that drinking to solve problems isn't normal, I learned that fighting constantly and doing things out of spite isn't normal, and I learned that abandoning your kids isn't normal. I didn't get the support and love that most kids got growing up. I didn't get the guidance that parents give. I had to learn everything on my own. I had to grow up at a very young age, and I didn't get to have that normal childhood. I learned that the life I had growing up wasn't 'normal'. I had to learn it the hard way.

I can do better. I've been battling with anxiety and depression for the longest time, and I told myself that enough is enough. I learned that anxiety and depression come hand in hand. Anxiety and depression are best friends. Since I never got help when I was younger, my anxiety made me really depressed. I'm still learning how to cope with both anxiety and depression, and that is okay.

Going through life with anxiety and depression is a journey. I know I'm a work in progress, and I know the whole process takes a lot of time. I know recovery isn't going to be easy, but in the end it's all going to be worth it. I took control in my life, and I told myself that I didn't want to live life in fear any longer. So, I reached out for help, and now I'm doing so much better.

I don't have to live my life in constant panic and stress. It's weird because all I knew was anxiety. Anxiety became apart of me, and it became my enemy. I was always at war with myself, and that wasn't okay. I had to fight for my life.

Every day is a brand new day. Every day I have a chance at life and a chance to redeem myself. I still have bad days, but I have to tell myself that I am okay and that I can get through it. I have to continue to fight. Having anxiety and depression isn't easy, and the world needs to know that. The world needs to know that mental illness is a real thing, and people need to be more aware of it. It's not fun having anxiety and depression, and I have to always remind myself that I am strong, and I can get through anything no matter the struggle.

Getting help was the first step to recovery. I'm still recovering every single day, and I still do have breakdowns. Seeking help was the best decision I ever made because I know that I am worth it. I know that I have potential, and I know I have to continue to believe in myself.

Anyone can beat anxiety, depression, or any mental illness. I learned that in order to beat it the person has to want to beat it. Help is out there, and all you need to do is reach for it. You need to stay strong and know you can push through the struggle. If you feel like giving up or you feel hopeless, stop, breathe, and try to collect yourself. Do some meditation exercises and know you are worth it. You are worthy of life, and please don't give up. God gave you this life because He knew you were strong enough to live it.