Don't Fear the Reaper

Red

The road trip was quiet, and awkward, the impending fight weighing heavy on everyone's minds. Bobby and Cas had chosen to ride in his van, leaving just you, Sam and Dean alone in the Impala. You had made the move to ride with Bobby, wanting to give the brothers time alone, but Sam had grabbed your hand, pleading with his eyes for you to stay with him. You couldn't say no to him, so you were currently in the back seat of the car, leaning forward so you could thread your fingers through his. You couldn't stop touching him, knowing you had a time limit before he was gone for good, and you would no longer be able to feel his callused hands holding yours. Or to be able to run your fingers through his hair. You only had hours left to mesmerize every thing about him, every line, every scare, every speck of gold in his eyes.

He was currently arguing with Dean about something, but you weren't listening. You were watching the way his lips moved, the way his eyes narrowed when he was getting annoyed with his brother. His hand tightened on yours as he tried to make his point. "Y/N, don't you agree?" He asked, and you just continued to stare at him, lost in the moment of drinking him in.

"Y/N?" He said again, his hand tugging on yours.

"Sorry." You muttered. "What were you saying?"

He gave you a soft smile, before turning back to his argument. "I've already made you promise not to try to save me. And Dean's promised. But I want Dean to go try to live a normal life. To go find Lisa and try to be happy with them. Do you think you could help with that? To steer him in that direction?" He asked.

You looked towards Dean who was white knuckling the steering wheel, his jaw clenched tight. You could tell he wasn't happy with Sam's last request, and was trying to find a way out of it. "Sam, please. I don't want to argue with you, not today. But please let me try to get you out. I'm a Reaper. There has to be a way for me to go down there, and rescue you. At least let me look!" You pleaded with him, and Dean's eyes flashed towards the two of you, a tiny glimpse of hope in his eyes.

Sam sighed, turning more in the seat so he could see you, and his brother. He seemed sad, defeated almost. "Y/N, I would give anything to have more time with you. These last weeks have been amazing. I never thought I'd find another woman I loved after I lost Jess. But you came along, and stole my heart. And I can't be down there, in the pit, knowing that you would endanger yourself for me. I need to know you, and Dean are both safe. Living good lives up here. That's all I ask."

You couldn't help the tear that slipped down your cheek then, and with a gentle finger, Sam wiped it away. "Y/N, you and Dean, you're the reason I'm doing this. I mean, yeah, I want to save the world. But it doesn't matter as much as making sure you're safe. And I'll do anything to make sure of that."

"Sam, I've lived a long life, longer than you can imagine. I've done things, seen things. I don't care if I'm safe or not. I just can't imagine you in that cage, being tortured for the rest of your life. I'm not that easy to kill, please give me a chance." You tried one more time, but he shook his head, adamant in his decision.

"No, I don't want you to. I know I won't be up here to stop you, but this is my request. Can't you please honor it? Let me do this, and you can go on with your life. Just make sure my brother doesn't drink himself off a cliff or something." He said, his big hazel eyes pleading with you to understand. 

You stared into his eyes, seeing how he was scared, but ready, to give everything up to help the world. He didn't seem to realize it, how selfless and brave he was being. You could tell he thought it was just part of his job, something that he had to do, that fell on his shoulders. And that's one of the things you loved most about the man, how he always wanted to help no matter what it meant for him. "Okay." You breathed, seeing Dean frown out of the corner of your eye, knowing he was hoping you could talk his brother out of it. "I don't like it, and I might not agree, but I promise. I won't try to save you, and I'll take care of your pain in the butt brother."

You could see some of the tension melt off of him, and you knew that no matter how much it hurt you, it was the right thing to do. He squeezed your hand tightly, and you gave him a forced smile, your heart shattering inside. 

"Dean, we need to make a quick stop before Detroit." Sam said, and you both stared at him. "If I'm going to become Lucifer's vessel, I'm going to need some Demon blood to prepare me."

You had known he had done it in the past, but the thought of him drinking all that Demon blood, blood that was a cousin of yours, had you reeling back, your stomach churning. "You do?" You asked, and he ducked his head, ashamed of what he needed to do.

___________________________________________

You stayed back, with Bobby as Sam, Dean and Cas went into the warehouse, one that had a couple of Demons hiding within. You felt a sort of nervous energy in your body, making the tips of your fingers shake. Bobby stood next to you, a grimace on his face. "Bobby, do you think it will work?" You asked.

"I don't know." He answered truthfully. "If anyone can do it, it's that boy. But Lucifer is tough, the biggest bad we've come up against, and I'm just not sure."

"If it does work, he promised me I couldn't try to save him." You told Bobby. "Out of all of us, I have the best chance of pulling him out of Hell, but he said no."

"That's Sam for you. Always worrying about everyone else first." Bobby agreed just as the three men came out their hands full of Gallon sized containers full of blood. Sam saw you standing there, watching, and he glanced down at the container of blood in his hands, and a look of disgust crossed his face. But you could tell it wasn't directed at you. No, it was directed at himself. He was disgusted with himself, for what he had to do.

You walked forward, taking the blood from his hand, handing it to Dean who put it in the trunk. Placing your hand on his chest, you waited until he was looking at you. The look in his face, that he was waiting for you to be disgusted with him, to push him away, had you reaching your hand up to cup his face.

"Sam..." You started, but he grasped your hand by the wrist, turning his face more into your palm.

"Y/N, I know. I'm a freak. You don't have to stay and watch this. I know it's disgusting, and..." He started babbling, his eyes portraying his hurt that you might tuck tail and run.

"Sam, stop." You said, and he did, his hand still holding your wrist. "I'm not going anywhere. I think you seem to forget the fact that I'm a Reaper. I've seen things, done things, that make this seem normal. I'm going to be with you, until the very end." You promised, and he pulled you forward, until your body was flush against his. His lips sought yours, pressing against yours with a burning need. You wrapped your arms around his waist, letting him take what needed, letting him thread his hands through your hair as he tilted your head, nibbling on your bottom lip.

You heard Dean clear his throat next to you. "Not that I want to break this up. But we do have a pending apocalypse on our hands."

Sam's lips left yours, but he tilted his forehead down, resting it against yours. Seconds later, he walks away, sliding into the front seat of the Impala, and you were off once again, this time no more stops until you met the Devil in Detroit.