Don't Fear the Reaper

Talking

  "I promised I would go back to Death. Leave you and Dean alone, never to contact you again." You sobbed, pressing your head to Sam's chest.  Saying the words out loud to Sam, actually relieved the pressure from your chest, while at the same time breaking your heart. By saying them out loud, it made them true, reminding you your time was almost up. 

Crushing you to him, he held you tightly, pressing a kiss to your temple, before pulling you away. "Y/N, how could you?" 

With tears pouring down your cheeks, you tried to answer. "I thought I had no choice. Leaving you soulless was not an option, and all of our other ideas were futile."

He shook you slightly, his face full of disappointment. "Y/N, does this mean you want to go back to Death? You missed being a Reaper that much?"

"No, Sam, no! That's not it at all. It's killing me knowing that I'll have to go back to that life, especially since I have to leave you behind!" You blurted out, before you realized those probably weren't the right words to use. They would make Sam feel guilty that you had brought him back.

"Y/N, then why did you? I would rather rot in hell than see you unhappy, and at the command of Death again." He exclaimed, pacing the small room as Cas stood by, silent and unsure how to help. 

"Because I felt the same way for you. I would rather be stuck with Death for eternity than watch you become some sort of monster, your soul tortured forever." You answered him, just as Sam's phone rang.

Giving you a look that told you this was far from over, he answered his phone. "Hey Dean, what's up?"

You listened to his side of the conversation as Cas came up to you, his face contrite. "I'm so sorry Y/N, I didn't realize that you hadn't told him yet." 

"Cas, it's not your fault. It would have come out sooner or later. At least this way I don't have to lie to Sam for five more days." You said softly, watching Sam as he paced back and forth, his face scrunched as he listened to what his brother had to say. 

"Y/N, I wish there was a way for me to help you." Cas consoled you as Sam hung up on his brother, a silly smile on his face.

"Well, he did it. Dean found a way to kill the dragon. He's gonna meet us at the entrance to the subway station." Sam explained, pulling his coat on before turning to you and Cas. The both of you were still standing there. You from the fact that you didn't want to deal with a dragon, but you weren't sure why Cas hadn't moved. "Why aren't you guys moving?"

"Do I really have to go?" You asked, as Cas was shaken out of his stupor. 

"Y/N, we really do need your help with this." Sam stated, as he took his duffel bag off of the dresser. 

"I can't stay. I'm needed in Heaven." Cas sputtered quickly before vanishing from sight.

Not wanting to try and argue with Sam, you pulled on your coat, following behind him, hoping that once Dean showed up you could stay back at the entrance. Because you didn't want to get close to a Dragon, never again. 

With Dean taking the Impala, you had no choice but to walk the distance to the subway entrance. It was a good thing it was at the edge of the city, close to where you were staying. Staying close to Sam, you let him lead the way as your thoughts drifted to what lay ahead. Not just with the dragon, but with the short amount of days left for you. And what would happen to you when Death pulled you back.

"Y/N, I still can't believe you would trade your life for mine." Sam brought up your conversation earlier. "I wish there was a way for you to take it back."

"I wouldn't take it back." You admitted quietly. "My life isn't worth as much as yours. You were needed out here. Not just for Dean, but because you do so much good for the world."

Sam stopped, grabbing your shoulder to stop you too. "Y/N, you do good for the world too!"

Smiling softly, you cupped his cheek. "I guess I'll do more good when I'm back to my Reaper duty. I'll have a new look on things." 

"I don't want you to leave me." Sam pleaded, leaning in to your touch. "We just got back together. You were the only thing keeping me sane when I was in the cage. And now you're telling me I only have a couple of days with you. How many?"

"Five." You answered softly, before turning and walking back down the road. "And can we please stop talking about it? There's nothing we can do to change it, and I would rather enjoy the time we have left."

You felt Sam's large hand grab your shoulder, turning you, and you figured he was going to argue some more. What you hadn't expected was to be pushed against the alley wall, his long and lean body caging you in. Tilting your head up so you could gaze into his eyes, you licked your lips as you saw how much his eyes had darkened with lust. "I want to enjoy it too." He whispered, before leaning down and nibbling the sensitive spot just behind your ear. "But I promise you this, I won't ever stop looking for a way to bring you back to me."

"Sam." You mewled, just as his lips captured yours. There was nothing soft or sweet about this kiss. His lips were pressed hard to yours, moving before taking your bottom lip, pulling on it with his teeth. His hands were everywhere, running along your hips before grasping your butt, pulling you tighter to him. Raising your hands, you wrapped them in his silky locks, moaning into the kiss before he quickly pulled away. 

"If I continue we will never make it to meet Dean." He said breathlessly. 

Taking a moment to gather your breath, you let him grasp your hand, holding tightly as the two of you continued the rest of the way to your meeting point.