Don't Fear the Reaper

What Now

You wiped away another tear that had managed to sneak it's way down your cheek as you stared at the ground that had swallowed Sam whole just moments before. It was hard to realize that he was gone, and that you would never see him again.

Then there was the fact that you hadn't been able to heal Dean. Had  Lucifer made you human? Or were your powers dormant, waiting to return. You hadn't tried anything else, and you weren't ready to quite yet.

"Dean." You heard a familiar raspy voice say from behind you, as Cas leaned down to touch his hand gently to Dean's battered face. Quickly his cuts, bruises and broken bones vanished, leaving the handsome face unblemished once again.

"Cas, you're alive." You muttered, amazed to see the Angel walking around once again.

"Yes I am. And better than ever." He answered as he held a hand out to help you to your feet.

"Are you God?" Dean asked as Cas helped him to his feet. You studied the Angel, how well he looked, and knew Dean's question was a good one.

"That's a nice compliment, but no." Cas answered, as he walked over to where Bobby laid dead on the ground. He pressed fingers to his neck, and soon the older man was once again breathing.

Dean rushed over to Bobby, crushing the old man in a hug, leaving you and Cas alone. "Cas, I couldn't heal Dean, and I feel different. What's wrong with me?" You asked the fellow supernatural being, afraid of the answer.

He studied you carefully, his hand resting on your shoulder, his blue eyes staring at you intently. "Y/N, it seems..." He started, just as Bobby and Dean came walking over.

Both men looked better, even with the long, sad looks on their faces. "Cas, Y/N, come on. Let's head back to Bobby's." Dean ordered, and you followed him to the Impala, sliding into the backseat next to Cas.

"I need to explain." Cas whispered to you as Dean headed down the highway. "I will ride to Bobby's with you, then we can talk there."

You nodded, your eyes glued to the road as it sped past. It was a three hour drive to Bobby's, and everyone was silent for the complete trip, each lost in their own thoughts.

You were almost asleep, leaning against Cas when Dean finally pulled into the crowded and familiar driveway. Pulling to a stop, he waited for Bobby and Cas to climb out before reaching out and stopping you.

"Y/N, wait. Can we talk?" He asked, and you nodded, settling back into the seat.

"Sure Dean, you know you can talk to me about anything." You told him.

"Well, this is tough." He started, and your heart plummeted. "I know we've both been through a lot, and lost someone we love. But I promised Sam something, and I just don't see a place for you in that life."

"I, uh..." You started, not knowing what to say. You hadn't considered the fact that Dean would send you on your way as soon as Sam was gone.

"Listen Y/N, I like you. More than I ever thought I would. I consider you a close friend. But Sam made me promise I would go live an apple pie life with Lisa, and I just can't have you coming with me. I'm sorry."

"I understand." You reassured him, even though your heart was breaking on the inside.

You slid out of the seat, slowly moving towards Bobby's house, your body feeling heavy and constricting, something you weren't used to. You passed by a confused Bobby and Cas, before stepping onto the porch and collapsing into the rickety old rocker that sat there. Your eyes downcast, you didn't watch as Dean said his goodbyes. 

But when you did hear the roar of the Impala, you looked up, seeing Dean pulling out of Bobby's driveway, leaving you behind in the dust. Bobby walked by, muttering something about Idjits, leaving you alone on the porch.

You weren't alone for long, soon Cas came to stand next to you, awkwardly. "I don't know what to say." He started, and you looked up at him through scared and tear soaked eyes.

"How about what you were going to tell me earlier? Dean's gone, Bobby's inside." You told him.

"Well, I'm not sure what Lucifer did to you, but you are basically human. I'm not sure if your powers are dormant, waiting to come back, or if they are gone forever. But you no longer feel like a Reaper to me."

"So what does that mean? Am I going to start aging now? Will I not be able to heal as quickly from cuts and bruises?" You asked mostly to yourself, but Cas still heard you.

He shrugged his shoulder. "I'm not sure what it means. I wouldn't mind sticking around and helping you out, but I really need to get back to heaven, to see how it's been since I've been down here. Can I help you, maybe transport you somewhere? To Death? He might know what to do."

You considered his offer, but the more you thought of it, the more a life of a human intrigued you. You were still reeling from Sam's jump into the cage, and you weren't sure you were ready to go back and deal with Death quite yet.

"Thanks Cas, but I think I'm going to try to find my own way right now." You told him.

He smiled down at you. "Of course. But if you need anything, just pray to me. I want the best for you." He said, before vanishing.

You sat out on the porch, watching as the sun slowly sunk behind the big garage on Bobby's land. The air started growing cooler, and you felt goosebumps growing on your skin for the first time ever. You heard the squeak of the screen door, before Bobby's voice broke through your dreamy haze. "Hey girl. You gonna sit there all day, or are you gonna come in for some grub?"

You slowly stood up, turning to Bobby who was standing there with a beer in one hand, a heart broken look etched on his face. But he was still trying. For his sake, and yours, he was trying, not wanting to break down at the loss of his foster son. "Grub sounds good right about now." You told him, following him inside.

"I put on a pot of chili. Hope you don't mind." He said, reaching into the fridge and grabbing another beer. Handing it to you, he dished you out a heaping bowl of chili, and you sat down at the table, stirring the steaming food around in the bowl.

"I'm sorry Dean just left you like that. But you have to understand him. He won't take the loss of Sam well, and he copes different than the rest of us." Bobby tried explaining. 

"I understand where he was coming from. He promised Sam that he would try this out. There's no place for me in that life." You said. 

Bobby sat down across from you, and the two of you spent a few moments in silence as you tried to force down the chili. "So, what are your plans now? Heading back to your life as a Reaper?"

"That won't be happening." You started to explain to Bobby, wondering why your heart felt heavy, and tears started forming in your eyes again. You weren't used to these human emotions, and ever since your run in with Lucifer, they were running rampant within you, confusing you. "Lucifer somehow took my powers away from me."

"That idjit." Bobby said. "Well, you can stay here with me as long as you want. I don't mind."