Don't Fear the Reaper

A Way Out

Running into Benny had been the best thing to ever happen to you. Not just because he saved your ass, but because he helped you, in so many ways. He was sweet, with his southern drawl, keeping you company through the never ending nights. He kept your mind off of things, like the fact that this was going to go on forever, that you would never see Sam again. He kept you moving, hoping that you would someday find your way out, and back to Sam. 

At night the two of you would sit around in the dark, talking about anything and everything to pass the time. Benny had lived a crazy, magical life, and he wasn't shy about sharing any of it. There had been many nights you couldn't stop laughing at one of his stories. That was okay with you, because it kept the negative thoughts at bay. 

During the day the two of you would continue moving on, usually getting ambushed at least once a day by some sort of monster. Benny could handle himself well, and you were doing pretty good with your handmade knife. He kept pushing you, telling you he had heard of a way out. With nothing else to go on, you followed him, knowing a flimsy plan was better than no plan at all.

Life in Purgatory was animalistic and harsh. Even though you didn't need to eat, you missed the taste of food. You wanted nothing more than to relax under the hot spray of a shower, to sleep on a soft mattress. To feel Sam's lips against yours, to feel his body move against yours. 

On nights like tonight, when your feelings were even harder to push to the back of your mind, Benny was there for you, holding you tight to him, letting you cry on his shoulder. "Hush darlin." He would call you. "We will find a way out, so you can make it back to that man of yours."

It was a vicious cycle, day after day. After weeks had turned into months, and the way out had still not been found, you began to lose hope that it ever would. Each day it was harder to drag yourself up, to make yourself keep moving. Benny tried his best, but with nothing to look forward to, you didn't care if the monsters killed you that day, or the next. 

Your nights were no longer full of tears. With your back against a tree, you would stare off into the darkness, keeping your mind blank, staying away from the thoughts and feelings that had hurt you so badly to begin with.

After six months of being stuck in Purgatory, with nothing but Benny as company, you couldn't recognize the person you had become. You no longer cared about anything. Your appearance, whether you lived or died. You didn't even think about Sam anymore. Each day it was the same, get up, kill the Monsters and move on. Killing other monsters was the only thing that brought you joy anymore.

"Y/N, darlin, are you sure you're okay?" Benny asked one night, on a day you hadn't spoken a single word. "Don't give up hope. We'll find the way out."

Without saying a word, you turned your back on him, sharpening your knife. You weren't sure what hope was, or if you still had any. Those foreign emotions had left you a long time ago, and you didn't want them back.

The next morning you were up before Benny, rinsing off in the stream. Ignoring the sounds of Monsters moving about the forest, you stood in the water, your head thrown back as you listened to a weird sound nearby. 

Benny came to stand next to the river, his sharp Vampire hearing no doubt picking up the same sound. "What is that?" You asked him.

Suddenly he smiled. "That, darlin, is the way out of here. It's not the portal I was looking for, but it's a back way into Hell."

That's when it hit you. The sounds you were hearing were those of souls being tortured. Screams, and cries, human sounds you hadn't heard for such a long time. Stepping out of the creek, you began following the sound, Benny right behind you. It wasn't easy to spot where they were coming from,but you could just make out a tiny sliver in between a hill and a rock.

"That's it! We've found the way out!" Benny exclaimed, moving forward, but you just stood there, staring at it. Did you really want out of here? You knew what to expect here. If you made your way topside again, would you go back to Sam? If he had even waited for you. Or maybe Death would want you back under his thumb. Either way, your options didn't sound any better than life down here.

"No thank you." You whispered, turning to leave the spot but Benny's arms stopped you.

"Y/N, no. I won't let you do this." He argued. "You've changed, but I know when you get back up there, things will turn out okay. You can't just shut yourself off."

"I did, and it's worked out fine so far. Life down here is simple, and emotionless. Maybe that's what I need." You told him, but he was stronger than you, and he pushed you back, towards the entrance.

"Go. There's nothing here for you." He told you again, pushing you through the opening. Giving up, you glanced up at him. 

"Aren't you coming?" You asked him, but before he could answer, a british accent answered for him.

"I'm sorry Y/N, but Hell is no place for Vampires." The voice told you, and the rock slid shut, leaving Benny behind in Purgatory. 

Turning, you faced the man who had denied your friend. He was wearing a dark black suit, fancy made. He had two Demon's with him, ready to grab you at a moment's notice. "You're Crowley."

"At your service. And you're the Y/N the Moose is in love with." He answered you, before offering you his arm. Carefully taking it, you let him guide you past rooms filled with horrid faces, up a flight of stairs, before he opened a door. Inside was a study, with a large wooden desk in the center. Heading to a table off to the side, he poured himself a glass of whiskey before offering you one. Taking it, you sipped the smooth liquid, coughing as something stronger than water slid down your throat for the first time in you didn't know how long.

"I had a feeling I would be seeing you soon. You see, I knew that you would be going to Purgatory. And as a friend of the Winchesters, I knew you would try to find your way out. Sooner or later, I knew you would find that little back door." He explained. "I didn't expect it to take that long, but oh well. Now I can get Moose and squirrel off my back."

"But what if I don't want to go back to them?" You asked, taking another sip of the burning liquid.

His glass paused halfway up to his mouth, he gave you a curious glance. "And why wouldn't you? I heard you and Sam were deeply in love, if I believe in that garbage."

Setting your glass down, you faced him. "While in Purgatory, I learned how much emotions can mess with you. How they change you, make you weaker. I know if I go back to Sam, that will happen, and I'm not sure I want to feel again."