Don't Fear the Reaper

Why

Crumbling down onto your bed, you sniffled, wiping at your eyes with your arm. "If that is my Sam, then something's wrong with him. Because the Sam I knew and loved wouldn't make out with a girl, and smile at his girlfriend at the same time." 

"Yeah, he's not that kinky." Dean said, earning a glare from Bobby. "Listen Y/N, we know something's up with him, we just aren't sure what yet."

"Not to play the devil's advocate, but maybe that's just Sam. Maybe he changed. Hell can do that to a person." Bobby argued, but Dean just shook his head.

"No, I won't accept that he's fully my brother. Something is off, more than just a joy ride in hell." He was adamant.

"I hope it's something. Because I'm not sure I can handle seeing the man I loved, the man I lost my powers for, how I was, just treat me as if I am nothing." You said. "I would rather go back to thinking he was back in the cage."

"Well he's not. So we need to keep an eye out, see if we can figure out what's going on." Bobby said, always the voice of reason.

Just then the door creaked open, and Sam walked in, a satisfied look on his face. One look at him, and you got up and locked yourself in the bathroom. There was no way you could look at him, act like everything was okay. Because it was most definitely not. And right now you weren't sure you could face him without crying, or decking him.

You heard Dean's voice, raised with anger as he shoved his brother out the door, and you peeked out the bathroom door. "Coast is clear, girl." Bobby said. "Dean's trying to talk some sense into his brother."

"Bobby, what would you do if you were me?" You asked, as you could hear the muffled voices of the brothers.

Bobby rubbed his graying beard with his hand, a tired expression on his face. "I'd probably punch the man. But that's me. I can't tell you what to do. You're going to have to go with your heart." 

You took a deep steadying breath as the door opened back up and Sam and Dean walked back inside. Dean still looked annoyed and angry, while Sam just seemed, off. "Y/N, can I talk to you outside?" Sam asked, and your heartbeat sped up.

"Okay." You muttered, walking past Bobby and Dean, Dean giving you a comforting smile. Once outside you leaned against the pillar, wrapping your arms around your waist. The darkening sky was cool, and you hated how much it seeped into your human skin.

"Y/N, I'm sorry. That was careless of me, and it shouldn't have happened." Sam said smoothly, standing there with his hands on hips. His apology seemed rehearsed, like it didn't totally matter to him, but he was trying to save face.

"Sam, I'm captured by a Djinn, only to find out you're back from Hell. And before you even mutter so much as a hi to me, your shacking up with some bimbo?" You stutter out, your emotions making it hard to talk. 

"I don't know what came over me. But I promise it won't happen again." He said, and you looked up at him through tear stained lashes.

"Do I just mean that little to you? Before you went to Hell, you would have never done something like that. Hell, you would have pushed Dean out of the way, wanting to make sure I was okay." You continued on, but he didn't seemed fazed at all.

"What can I say Y/N, besides being in the cage changed me. Made me realize that my time with you was fun while it lasted, but it's over. A relationship between a human and a Reaper was never meant to happen!" He said, his voice raising, and you flinched.

"Okay it's over. I kinda figured that out when you didn't check to see if I was okay before you were finding your next pair of legs to fall in between. And I'm not sure what Bobby or Dean has told you, but I'm no longer a Reaper!" You cried. "Haven't been since I tried to save your Ass. I'm as human as you are, but at least I care about people!"

"You're not a Reaper?" He asked, and you nodded.

"Yep. Lucifer's form of torture. So, I don't know where we go from here, but for right now I can't see your face." You said, going back into your room and slamming the door.

"Well?" Both Bobby and Dean asked you. 

Falling face first onto the bed, your next words were muffled. "Banging that woman was his way of breaking up with me. He said that during his time in the cage he came to a realization that we weren't mean to be together. That he didn't want to date a Reaper."

"That's bullshit." Dean argued, but you just lifted your shoulders.

"Maybe it's for the best. I've never been good around humans, why should a relationship with Sam be any different." You said, trying to make light of it, even though you were hurting like crazy. 

"Y/N, I'm leaving this up to you. But I would like to have you hunting with us again. I'm not a full time hunter again, but I would like someone with me to keep an eye on Sam. And Bobby needs to be back at his place, making sure everything runs smoothly. But I will understand if you don't want to, if you want to stay out on your own." Dean said, sitting down next to you on the bed.

You thought about his offer. Did you really want to give yourself the torment of traveling with the brothers again, being near Sam but not being with him? Watching as he turned to other women, giving them the smiles you wanted for yourself. But then you thought about your life now, living alone, learning how to be a human while you waited to see if your powers would ever come back. It was a lonely existence, and you knew what you would choose. Even if it hurt, on a daily basis, you knew it would be better for you in the long run.

"No, I would like that." You said, surprising Dean. "I know it won't be fun, especially if Sam keeps the act up. But I would rather be with you and him, then by myself."