Me And The Boys

Alana

I went to school with my dad's Letterman jacket on. I don't care if everyone thought I looked stupid.

I was grabbing my books when Barbie decided to show up again.

"What's with the jacket? Is it from one of your seven boyfriends?" She asked.
"Actually, it's my dad's." I said.

"One of your boyfriends is your dad. Sick." She said. The background girl laughed.

"No. He died this weekend. I wanted something to remember him." I said my eyes watering.

"Oh I-" she said.

"So before you start being a bitch to me, think of what might actually be happening." I said then slammed my locker shut. I walked to my class.

I haven't told anybody about it yet. I can't talk about it or else I don't think I'll stop crying. I sat in the very back of the classroom not talking to anyone. Not even Mary.

As I went my next class Meredith came up to me.  She had become my bully. I kind of deserve it.

"Hi bitch." She said. I rolled my eyes and kept walking. She tore the jacket off my back.

"Hey! Give that back!" I yelled.

"Or what?" She asked.

"Just, please! I need it!" I said the. Tore it out of her hands. I ran to my next class and walked in the door.

I sat in the back once again.

At lunch I sat next to Mary. I didn't talk much though.

"Why aren't you talking?" She asked. I shrugged.

She rolled her eyes. After lunch I did the rest of my classes. My science teacher stopped me at the end of the day.

"You seem out of it Ms. McClennan. Why?" He asked.

"Family issues." I said quietly.

"Specifically." He said.

"I'd rather not talk about it." I said.

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because I'll break down. And I prefer not to do it in front of my teacher." I stated calmly.

"Oh. Okay. Carry on Ms. McClennan." He said. I nodded and left. As I was leaving Lydia and Benny came up to me.

"Choose." Lydia said to Benny.

"Guys?" I asked.

"I don't how." He said ignoring me.

"Guys?" I asked again.

"Too bad. Choose." She said.

"Guys!" I yelled.

"Huh?" They both asked.

"I'd prefer not to talk about this today. I've got something going on." I said.

"But-" Lydia said.

"I'm not talking about this today! So shut up about it!" I snapped.

"Why not? What's wrong?" Benny asked trying to wrap his arm around me. I pushed him off though.

"I-I don't wanna talk about it." I said.

"Alana. If you have something going on. I can help. What do you want us to do?" Lydia asked.

"Bring my dad back." I said.

"What?" She asked.

"You heard me. Do it. Do it now." I said.

"I-I can't do that." She said. I started crying.

"I know you can't. But I want it so bad. He died this weekend." I said. They both tried to hug me. Again I pushed them off.

"I'm sorry." They said. I thanked them. But those were just meaningless words. I've been hearing that from family members all weekend. It's I'm sorry this and you'll be okay that. But will I? Will I really?

"We're gonna go to the Sandlot. Come with?" Benny asked.

"No." I said.

"Why? We're your friends we can help you get through it." Lydia said.

"You don't get it do you? I can't get through this. How would you feel if your dad just walked out one morning and didn't come back? How would you feel if all you got was empty I'm sorrys from everyone that's heard? I'm not getting through this, and not you guys or anybody else can help with that." I said. They looked at each other sad. Great.

Benny wrapped his arms around me. I shoved him. "Stop! Stop trying to make feel better cause it ain't working. Unless my dad walks in at six o'clock he like he always did I'm not getting better! I don't need or want your sympathy." I said.

I have no idea where this was coming from. It's like all the frustration I've had bottled in is released on them.

"I get it. My words and hugs do nothing. It can't bring him back." Benny said.

"No. I don't think you do get it. He's never ever coming back. You don't get how that feels. That day I thought I'd see him at dinner. Not once did I think, I'm never gonna get to see him after this. Because I didn't know that. And neither do you. You don't know what that feels like. I'm done with this stupid triangle! I can't deal with it right now." I said then ran away.

Lydia POV

"She doesn't mean it Ben. She's just frustrated." I said putting my hand on his shoulder.

"I know, but it just kinda hurt. She blew me off three times." He said.

"Yeah. Let's just go to the Sandlot. Maybe you could talk to Yeah Yeah about it." I suggested.

"Sure." He sighed. We walked to the Sandlot. He grabbed my hand. I really did like this guy.

Once we got to the Sandlot I took out my sketchbook and pencils. At the end I had drawn the Sandlot and the guys playing.

Alana POV

I went to my room. I know I was a bit harsh, but I just needed to get everything out. Now that I had it felt good.