listen to the song while reading. It gives you feels, trust me.
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It was a secret. Everything was a secret. Your love for Hoshi, a secret. His love for you, a secret. Your relationship, a secret.
You began to grow sad thinking you can't embrace your boyfriend in public because he didn't want anyone to know yet. But how soon was yet? It has been 7 months now and the only time you guys can kiss each other was in your apartment. Not even his hyungs knew.
You didn't know how much longer you could take keeping this relationship a secret. You were reaching your breaking point and you needed to sit with Hoshi and discuss this with him.
Y/N: Hey, do you think I could come by to the dorm? I need to speak to you.
Hoshi: Yeah, the boys are gone so, come in 5.
You begin to walk to the boys dorm which wasn't far from your apartment. You listened to music that matched your depressing mood.
You reach the dorm and knock on the door. It almost immediately opens and Hoshi answers with a big smile.
"Hi Jagi! I missed you." He kisses you on the cheek and hugs you. You return the hug and Hoshi moves aside to let you in.
"Hey Hoshi." He sits on the couch and looks at you with worried eyes.
"What did you want to talk about?" You take off your sweater and rub your hands.
"How much longer?" He pulls a confused face and grabs your hands.
"Wh-what are you talking about?" You sigh and removes your hands from his, immediately missing his warmth.
"How much longer do we have to keep this relationship a secret Hoshi?" He groans and rubs his face.
"Y/N we talked about this. At least until we make a year. I don't want to lose fans with th-" You were becoming mad. You wanted to slap him for being so stupid.
"For what? For being human? For falling in love? The last time I remember falling in love was apart of life. I want to be able to hold you when we go out. I want to kiss you when we take walks in the park. I want to hold your hand. I want to be proud to call you my boyfriend. I want to go on dates with you, to the movies, to the carnival, shopping. I want to do everything with you, Hoshi. Why can't you see that?! I can't be in a relationship where I have to keep my feelings locked up in a bottle until you decide when they need to be opened. I want to be with you Hoshi but how can i be with you if I can't fully call you mine?" Tears were streaming down your face and Hoshi doesn't do anything but look at you.
"I understand that you don't want to lose your fans but think about you. I can't keep up with this lie, Hoshi" You grab your sweater and make your way to the door. Before leaving, you leave him with this thought.
"I want to be able to tell you all of my secrets Hoshi but I don't want you to become one."
With that, you left the dorm. Hoshi didn't stop you either.
~
For the next couple of days, you didn't hear from Hoshi which made you happy and sad. You didn't want to start an argument with him but you wanted him to text you, to show you that this relationship was worth it.
The boys had an live interview today. You planned on watching for support.
3:54
6 more minutes until it goes live. You missed Hoshi. You were so mad at him but you still loved him. Its just you didn't want to keep your relationship a secret anymore...does that make you a bad person?
The show begins and you immediately turn up the volume.
"Hellooooo, we are here with Seventeen. Why don't you guys say hello?"
"Say the name, SEVENTEEN." They did their greeting and your eyes stayed on Hoshi. He looked like he hadn't gotten sleep in a while. Your heart immediately sank.
The interviewer asked them questions about the album and had the fans ask them questions a couple of times. Hoshi looked happy but at times he would seem out of it.
"So tell me boys, do any of you have a special someone yet?"
Everything got quiet. Your palms got sweaty and your heart rate had started beating faster. S.Coups looks at the boys and shakes his head. Hoshi keeps his eyes on the floor. He wasn't going to say anything.
"No none of us have that special someone."
The interviewer sighs and shake his head.
"What a shame. Good looking boys and no one has caught your eye yet?" They all shake their head except Hoshi.
"Nope. We don't really have much time for girlfriends with our schedules and all." Woozi says. Hoshi looks everywhere but the camera.
"Well that's all we have for today. Thank you to Seventeen for coming to-" You shut off the tv and felt your heart break piece by piece ever so slowly.
The relationship was nothing to Hoshi. He wasn't proud of you, he wasn't proud to call you his. That just broke your heart more.
You laid on your couch, crying your eyes out. You never felt a heartbreak before. Now you understand what they meant when they said...
If the relationship is kept a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
