Turned Out

Chapter Twenty

Landyn.

I ran into an old friend a few weeks ago. I've been chilling with her a lot more than I should lately and as much as I hate to admit it, she's leading me back down the hollow, empty, dark path I was on only three years ago.

I nor my family talk about this point of time in my life, I'm still trying to forget it. See, I fell heavy into prescription drugs when I was seventeen. I flew off of a motorcycle, broke my leg in three places and my arm in two. At that point, the drugs the doctor kept shoveling out to me were my only friend. I took em, they went, I got prescribed more. Initially I was really numbing the pain, but then I got the high. The good itch. The numbness of my emotions and thoughts. I couldn't help it. I just like pills. Ecstasy, Molly, Adderall, pain killers, when shits rough I even get buzzed off of Mucinex pills. Yes, that snotty nose allergy and cold medicine. If you take the right amount, you'll be dozed.

During the time that I was getting high, I stayed home. Eventually my parents found out and shipped me off to a rehab. They didn't want to be judge by the church, family, or friends. They made me go against my own will. I enjoyed the buzz and sense of calm that pills gave me.

My parents even went as far as to lie on my whereabouts. I was gone for a whole eight months and that whole time they claimed I was in a crash recovery center. At the rehab I was seeing a physician to get back to walking and using my arm like normal, but I was mostly seeing the people that were forcing me to break my relationship with pills.

"Asia!" I called through the condo, looking for my ex. I guess you could say I turned her on to pills. I didn't mean to, but she caught me taking a couple once. She wanted to try and who am I to stop someone from doing what they want to do? I gave her a couple and she loved it. When I left for rehab though, she continued to use on her own. She popped em, she stole em, and whatever else she had to do to get em.

I walked through the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room- twice, looking for Asia. I went upstairs hoping she would be there waiting on me with some "X". Opening the door I saw her passed out on the bed. I chuckled to myself. She knew she wasn't supposed to be high right now. She had to go get her daughter from school in thirty minutes. I shook my head going towards her in the bed. I picked her up, carrying her to the bathroom and then setting her down on the shower floor. I turned the water on cold, full blast letting it hit her skin. Asia jumped out of her sleepy high, a scream escaping her lips. She stared at me with unamused eyes as I laughed. Hell, it was funny. I told her to stop doing that cocaine shit. Pills are different. Not by much, but different nonetheless. You won't catch me sniffing that shit up my nose, no sir.

"You're a fucking asshole, Landyn. Why'd you do that?" She looked up at me pouting.

"You do have a daughter Asia."

"I know... Aja is taking her for the day." I nodded, now feeling bad that I fucked up her high. I would be pissed if somebody did that to me. "Ugly ass. Always doing something. I don't do drugs around my daughter, you know that." She was right. Crackhead, pill popper, tough drinker. Whatever you wanted to label her. You couldn't call Asia a bad mother. She cherished her daughter, she loved the little girl with everything in her. Asia spent all the time she could with her daughter and made sure she was in safe hands when she wanted to go out or simply do her.

In all honestly, Asia is the prime reason I didn't, still don't, want Ashleigh in the "video girl" industry. Call me a hypocrite all you want. Asia was once a good girl, even after she tried the pills. She was still good. It was when she got into the industry that things flipped for her. She felt the need to fuck every guy, try every drug, and with her twin right by her side that became very easy for her. I don't want that for Ashleigh. Asia is already messed up, ain't no pulling out of that.

Asia dried off her body, climbing in to bed naked and snuggling in the covers. She opened the drawer on her bedside table and pulled out a small board, cocaine atop it. "Want some?" She asked before taking a sniff. I scrunched up my face, thinking about smacking her. She knows I don't want that damn crack. I rolled my eyes before walking back into her bathroom grabbing a bottle from the medicine cabinet. Naproxen, my choice of the day.

Ashleigh.

I pulled up outside of the small breakfast diner. I woke up early this morning with Shannon while he got ready for the studio. I didn't have plans for the day at all, so I called Leila. I said I was making up with everyone, so this time is as good as any. I already completely messed up two relationships, but I have to do this. If things don't work out, they don't.

Walking into the diner I didn't see Leila anywhere, so I had a server seat me at a booth. I ordered a glass of cranberry lemonade for myself and an apple juice for Leila. I figured the nicer approach I have towards this, the better result.

Our drinks came just as Leila slid in the booth. Her face was blank and once again caked in a thick layer of makeup. I automatically felt bad. I had let her go to easy, I should have fought harder to keep her at home. She must have known what I was thinking because she quickly cleared her throat, and picked up the apple juice. "Is this for me?" She took a sip without my reply.

"It was actually for Shannon." I joked. She stopped sipping for a little while before shrugging her shoulders and taking another long sip.

"He can get another one. I'm pregnant." I laughed at her, then shook my head.

"I was kidding, but honestly. We need to talk... About everything." She sighed heavily and sat the cup back in the table. She clamped her hands together in front of her on the table, playing with her fingers and looked down. She looked back up at me sighing again.

"Okay, let's talk. I'll start." I nodded, taking a slow sip from my juice. "Firstly I want to start off by saying I'm sorry. I don't know why I flipped on you like that. This baby is stress and Darien isn't making it better at all. All I know is I've been waiting for this moment. I missed yo ass so much, Ash. You couldn't imagine how much I've missed you, it's so much. And if you feel like you have to apologize for anything, don't. You didn't do anything wrong. If you still think you did, you're forgiven." I sat there slightly in shock. That's it? That easy? Hell, why couldn't Landyn and my dad just apologize and be done with it?

"So, we're cool?"

"Yes, bitch. That's what I just said while spilling my heart out to you. Did you hear a word I said?" I rolled my eyes, smirk in full play on my face. I can't stand Leila.

"So, now that you're back to being my best bitch... Can I have my bag back?" She choked on her apple juice as she laughed.

"See! This is why I missed you! You can give me a good laugh..." She smacked the table for the extra effect. "Have her bag back... She is a mess. Whew! Can you believe that?" She spoke out loud to no one in particular.

"Over dramatic ass." I rolled my eyes as she continued to crack up laughing. "So, down to real business." She was still laughing, but I needed to get this California news out. "Um, I'm leaving for LA with Shannon next week to do a video and this point I'm thinking about not coming back." She instantly stopped what she was doing, looking at me.

"What..?" She spoke softly. "But... You can't."

"Why? It's for my job."

"One, me. Two, this baby. Three, I need you here to get through... through..." She paused, inhaling deeply then exhaling. "Never mind. We just need you."

"I know. I'm sorry. Maybe I'll come back, but I am still going to LA." She nodded, slowly.

"How are things with you and Shannon?" I smiled so big I could feel my face cracking. I was still feeling on top of the world with our relationship and my recent confession of love for him. "I guess they're going great." She giggled at me. I'm a little school girl when it comes to Shannon, I swear.

"They are. Really great at that, I love Shannon Lei. Like really love him. I said it to him and I meant it. Shannon Berry is the best thing to happen in my life."

"Besides me and your godchild, si? Si, that's what she meant to say. Si."

"Stop talking to yourself. And yes, you guys are the best thing to happen in my life, too."

"So, when do I get a godchild? This isn't fair, ya know?"

"I'm not married, so I won't be popping out any little Ashleigh's or little Shannon's anytime soon, Lei." She groaned, laughing a little. I looked at her face again remembering what was hidden under all the makeup. I wanted to bring up Darien or Skilla, whatever you want to call him, again but chose not to on the account of he was part of the reason we fell out in the first place. I don't want her to be with him and she doesn't need to be, but I've told her before. What more can do? You can lead a bitch to Prada, but you can't make her buy.

It felt good being back like this with Lei. Ultimately, I was disappointed and upset with her decision, but I love her regardless and I'll always be here for her. I'll have her back and her front, it's a always and forever thing with us and can't nothing change that. Not a tired, almost thirty year old, wannabe rapper-producer. Not a three hundred dollar European leather handbag. Not Leila, not Ashleigh. Nothing at all.

I had breakfast with Leila and then we retried out girls day. I took her to get mani-pedis and did a little bit of shopping for the baby. It was hard seeing as she doesn't know the gender yet, so we mainly bought unisex things and "window" shopped for everything else, making mental notes of everything we liked and what gender it was for so we could work on purchasing it later.

After dropping Leila off and going back to Shannon's I couldn't help the bored, lonely feeling I was having. I sat there for five minutes staring blankly at the black tv screen and then got up to take a shower. If I didn't get out of this house soon I would end up cleaning the paint off the walls. Whenever I'm bored that's all I do. Clean, clean, and more cleaning.

I threw on my Nike spandex leggings and a pink Nike shirt. Slipping into my Nike running shoes, I walked into the living room grabbing my phone, id, and keys. Looking at me, you'd think I was about to go exercise but that was the furthest thing from my mind. Hell the reason I have so many exercise clothes is solely because they're cute.

--

I walked into Shannon's studio. I thought that I should maybe call first, but hell I was already here. The petite woman at the front desk held a familiar look, but I couldn't put a finger on it. I walked up to the desk to see which one of the rooms Shannon was in today. There had to be at least six different recording rooms in the back. He assigned them according to what type of artist he worked with.

Pulling her glasses down to the bridge of her nose, the lady looked me over before scoffing. "You... Again..?" I looked at her confused, trying to put my finger on it. It hit me, Shannon's mom. I got irritated so quickly and I'm sure the expression on y face showed it. I didn't want to be rude or disrespectful, but Ashleigh might have to get a rowdy today. "What do you want little girl? My son has company." She smirked evilly. Her words hit me wrong, but I knew she was just trying to hurt me.

"That's fine." I smirked. "I'm sure his girlfriend, me, I'm his girlfriend, yeah, I'll be able to impose on his little meeting."

"Room 2b sweetheart." She gave me a fake smile before looking back down at her paper and starting to write something. I walked down the long hallway. 1a, 2a, 1b, 2b. I stopped in front of the door and knocked lightly.

"Come in." Shannon said plainly. I opened the door slowly and peeked my head in around it. Shannon was sitting at the table messing with the nobs. You know, doing what producers do.

"Hey baby." I smiled at his back. He turned around with a semi-surprised look on his face and smiled at me.

"What you doing here?" He smiled, then looked back to the booth. "Hold on a minute." He told whoever that was in the booth and met me halfway into the room. He pulled me to him by my waist and I wrapped my arms around his upper body.

"I was bored and alone... So, surprise!"

"If you missed me all you had to do was say so." He bent down kissing me. His hands traveled from my waist to the bottom of my butt and I wrapped my arms tighter around him. Without any warning, he swooped me up, wrapping my legs around him. I let out a half yell, half laugh against his lips before pulling away from him.

"I made up with Leila."

"That's good. How is she?"

"I'm mean she's a great actress, but I'm sure he's still beating her. I don't know what to do." I laid my head on his shoulder as he still held me in his arms.

"She grown. You just gotta let her learn. You can't do everything for her."

"I know, but I want to." I sighed. The door to the room opened abruptly causing both me and Shannon to turn our heads to it. His mother stood there with a disapproving look. She rolled her eyes at me before looking to Shannon.

"Someone is on the phone for you."

"Take a message. I'm busy."

"So you stop a session for this girl, but not for business?"

"I said take a message ma. This," he used his pointer finger to make circles around our heads, "ain't none of ya business. You can go home for the day if you want to, actually." I looked at him begging him to stop being disrespectful to his mom. I know she doesn't like or respect what we have, but I don't want him to go and get his self popped in the mouth over nothing.

His mother looked back and forth between us. I don't think I'll ever understand why she doesn't like me. I never did anything to her. I never hurt Shannon so I know he didn't tell her something to make her dislike me. She simply just doesn't like me. She walked out of the room, slamming the door closed behind her. Shannon shook his head and put me down, grabbing my hand and leading me to the open chairs in front of the booth. He told me to sit in one and he sat in the other. Shannon introduced me to his new artist, Elli, and they went about their session like normal.

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Unedited so please excuse any mistakes.