Turned Out

Chapter Thirty Five

Ashleigh.

The light voice I heard was none other than my mothers. She was now standing in front of us, but I still couldn't gather the strength to look at her. "Good morning Mrs. Dawson..." Shannon spoke, extending his hand to my mother. She took his hand and pulled him to her. I know Shannon only expected a handshake and not to be pulled in for a hug. I heard my mother deeply inhale. The cry that followed caught me by surprise. Shannon told her everything was alright and I finally looked up to see him rubbing  her back while she held on to him.

My mother, well my family period, had never gotten the chance to get close to Shannon, so what I was seeing before me was so shocking. Why was my mother being vulnerable? Why was Shannon so comforting to someone who initially didn't like him? I didn't understand, but the scene sort of brought a happiness over me. Not the fact that my mother was crying, but the fact that she was finding comfort in my man and not letting her past judgement of him get in the way. "Mommy... I... I..."

"You don't even have to speak yet." She told me while wiping her face. "Thank you for bringing her Shannon. Thank you so much."  She looked up at him. She let him go and I found myself in her arms just like old times. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want this moment to end. 

I don't know what kept me away so long. I avoided my family for so long because I didn't want to face any of their opinions or thoughts of me. I didn't want to hear anything that they had to say about the life I was living or the people that I let in. I was selfish and very dumb and I was just now realizing that.

I should have known that regardless of anything I did my family would be there for me. They may be disappointed at times, but I know that all things get better and they would eventually deal with the fact that I was grown and learning from my own mistakes. My mother and father loved me like no other, so of course they would hate to see me going down the wrong path. Of course they would lecture me about what they thought was wrong, what they thought was right and everything in between. They kept me sheltered for majority of my life and seeing me doing things they would have never even imagined had to make them feel some type of way and I didn't even acknowledge that.

By this point I was crying on my mother's shoulder, unaware that my dad had approached us. He stood there looking, not saying a word. Maybe he was confused as to why I was here, maybe he was just surprised. I was ashamed, confused, surprised, the whole nine. I still had no real clue why Shannon chose to bring me here. We had never been to church together and we hadn't talked about coming recently. Especially not to my father's church. This was the last place i expected to be.

I just knew that when my father finally spoke to me I wouldn't know what to say. He had spoke to Shannon and had a quiet conversation with my mom. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead and we finally made eye contact. Tears welled in my eyes again just looking at him. I felt so mad. I was mad at everything we had been through. I was mad at myself. I was upset for how ungrateful I had ever been, how childish I had ever acted. I was angry with Shannon for bringing me here. I was just an emotional mess and all it took was ten minutes for me to feel this way.

I was going through my emotions and my father continued to look at me. His eyes reading me a story all on their own. I could feel every thing that I had put him through, every worry he had felt, and every prayer he had said to me. He didn't have to speak a word. His presence told me enough. He was disappointed in me for the way I had behaved. Could you imagine your adult daughter running away from every issue as if she were 12? Could you imagine not speaking to your child for months at a time and them just popping up out of nowhere? There was no way for me to know that actual pain, but the look in father's face gave me a pretty clear idea.