Test me| (Jungkook/Halla)

28- Goodbyes

"What?"

I see Jungkook freezing and moving a step back. I swallow harshly. His eyes look shocked and hurt and this is exactly what I feel.

"I-I'm moving to... B-"

"Why?", he cuts me off and I hear the pain in his voice.

It hurts me so bad.

I avert my gaze to the floor and try breathing, but it somehow doesn't work.

"It's m-my family. They s-send me off with... Dad", I bite my lip for a second to calm down but it doesn't work.

"H-he needs it."

"And what do you need?"

I finally look up into Jungkook's eyes again. The eyes, I love so much.

And now they are full of tears.

My breath hitches as I see tears running down his face and I immediately start to cry too.

"What do you need, Halla?", his voice drops but it's firm. I see his hands clenching into fists.

He knows what I need.

"You know it", I whisper.

"Say it."

"... I need you", I whisper again, my voice cracking in the middle, as another set of tears stream down my face.

I feel my face softly being lifted up and meet Jungkook's eyes. This hurts even more.

This hurts too much.

I can see the pain and disappointment in his eyes, when he slowly starts to wipe my tears away.

As he always does.

"Then stay", he mumbles and I close my eyes.

"I-I can't do that..."

"Why not."

My hands find their way to his cheeks and I wipe his tears away, unable to see them any longer.

I hate seeing him crying. I hate being the reason for his tears.

"I need to go", I whisper and he frowns, staring at me intently. "He needs the closure. I-I need the closure."

He flinches back slightly, my hands in the air and my lips closed again.

"I need you, Halla. I love you", he says, giving me a disappointed look. "I gave you a promise, to never leave you. And now you leave me?"

He runs his finger through his hair, not looking at me.

"You leave me for the man that left you? Just because, one day, he simply decides to come back? Claiming you as his daughter again? After all these years?"

His words hurt and I start sobbing silently.

His gaze softens.

"Do you really think, this is fair..." He trails off and gives me a so pained look. I have never seen it before.

"You think it's fair to me? Fair to yourself?... You'll just get hurt all over again...", his voice fades and I bite my lip to contain the sobs.

He's right. I know it.

I will get hurt.

So bad. Leaving Jungkook hurts me.

I can feel it now. Already, as everything starts shattering around me.