Shaforostart It - THE SEQUEL (2016)

Chapter Five

TWO DAYS LATER

"Okay, well maybe it isn't so bad. You and Danny can finally just be parents." Cameron sipped the glass of wine in her hand.

"I don't want that." I said harshly, picking at the skin on my fingers.

"Well fuck, Leds. I don't know what to tell you. It's not my fault."

"I wish it was." I forced a laugh and she looked at me curiously. "Would me be much easier if you got me pregnant." Cameron burst out laughing. "Rather than be mad Denis would probably just ask to watch."

"Ew. Who needs men." She sighed. After a minute of thinking we both raised our hands. Cameron sighed and threw herself back onto the couch. "This is stupid. So much drama around everyone's fucking babies. You don't even want this one, and I-I-" she sighed. "It doesn't matter."

"I do want it." I defended. "And I'm sorry Cameron." I couldn't imagine how she felt. She miscarried at three months. Her and CC were so distraught. They were nothing but amazing, and they were going to be perfect parents. That baby had nothing but love waiting for it, and mine, mine was going to come into the world surrounded by pain, and heartbreak, and a broken family.

"All this baby talk sucks the fucking life out of CC." I was surprised he even went to the baby shower.

"I know. I feel guilty," I admitted.

"Oh my god," Cameron sat up. "Don't. Don't feel guilty. It's not your fault. Wound is just a little fresh on him. I am scabbed over at this point. Besides, I couldn't have you stealing my thunder now could I? We're gonna wait a few years and then the spotlight will be all mine." We both laughed slightly. "Anyways I was thinking about something totally weird the other day. If you never dialed the wrong number and sexted Denis, our lives would be so fucking different. You'd probably still be with Eric. No baby. Still doing gym. I wouldn't have even met CC. Weird." I didn't like to think about it often. But I didn't like to think about what really happened either. When I realized it was Danny's baby, I knew everything was going to be fucked. There was no fucking way it was Denis'. He took me out to a bar with everyone, and I went out for a cigarette, absolutely blind drunk. I started talking to Danny and the next thing I knew I woke up in his apartment. I had never felt that sort of guilt in my entire life, and now I feel it every day. When I told Danny he was nothing but excited - I guess I could be thankful that Danny and I actually got along when we weren't wasted. When I told Danny I was married to his replacement however, he was angry. But it couldn't dull the spark. He wanted nothing but the best for the baby. He wanted nothing but to be the best dad he could possibly be. He told me so every day - even though he didn't need to. I could see it on him. What killed me was knowing that Denis felt the same when he thought it was his. He didn't care the gender. He wanted both. Denis wanted a huge family, with me. And then, I was sure, he didn't even want to look at me.

"Yeah. Crazy." I said. When I thought about it, I could hardly ever even remember anything about Eric, aside from what he looked like, and how he sounded when he was training people. I wondered what he was doing with his life then - if he kept up to speed with mine at all.

"So," Cameron changed the subject again, sensing my mood was taking an unsavory turn. "How's work?" And then I realized I hadn't checked my emails in two weeks. I bolted for my laptop. I had twenty four new emails. I sighed as I went through them. A third of them weren't for work, they were just Denis' fans using that email to get to me to get to him. I stopped at a real work email. From a director. movie deal. "What does it say?"

"Hi, Leda. My name is Alex, I'm working with the movie American Satan. I've seen your work online and after getting a reference from your good friend Ben Bruce, who hasn't called you in weeks because he hates you and thinks you're an evil whore, think it would be tight for you to come to LA to fuck with our shit for this movie. Wow."