Shaforostart It - THE SEQUEL (2016)

Chapter Twelve.

Ciara in the hospital in critical condition. Ben is still in the police station being questioned. Denis is in a mental hospital. And worst of all, Danny loves me. And my doctor said to avoid stressful situations. How am I supposed to do that when everything is crumbling around me? "What do you wanna do today?" Danny asked.

"Nothing."

"You can't do nothing."

"Watch me." I looked up at him from the couch in his living room. "Everything is too stressful, and my doctor said to avoid stress. So I will avoid everything."

"You can't avoid your whole life." Danny sighed. "You aren't Denis." I looked away. "I shouldn't have said that, Leda I'm sorry."

"Yeah you're right you shouldn't have said that." I stood off the couch and walked to the front door. I slid on my flip flops. "I'm going home. That's what I'm doing today."

"Let me drive you, here-"

"No. I'm fine." I said harshly. I walked out and to the street. I called a cab and when I got home I just looked around. Denis had been there. He had come home. The sheets were messed and the picture of us from beside the bed on my pillow. Lots of his clothes were taken out of the closet. I wondered when he had been there. Had I just missed him? I had been at Danny's for about a week. Maybe he had came home before going into the hospital. Part of me wished he was still there when I got there. I wished I could go visit him. In truth, I could have if I really had to. There was nothing stopping me, and James had gone to visit him once. He told me I could go whenever I wanted, but that Denis was not expecting me. I knew I had to stay away, so Denis could get better. So things could start to get better with everything. Instead of visiting him, I lied in his spot in the unmade bed, and looked at the picture of us. I positioned myself how I imagined he was. I could smell him in the sheets - it was enough to bring tears to my eyes. I stood so quickly I felt nauseous. The house felt empty without him in it. He was always singing, and dancing around, or playing guitar, or asking me questions. And now the house was quiet. No matter how many people I invited over, or how loud I played music, or how loud I screamed, it was empty. It was empty, and quiet. I walked out of the bedroom and closed the door behind myself. I left for the hospital to visit Ciara.

"Is Danny coming?" Ciara asked as I sat down beside her hospital bed.

"No." I said softly. Ciara looked worse. Her face was pale and her cheeks were hollow, though she still wore a smile. I still didn't exactly understand what was wrong, what part of it the doctors couldn't figure out. I knew it was getting worse, I could see by how she looked, but I couldn't really tell anyone, including myself. "How are you?" she laughed a little.

"Look at me, Leda. I'm dying." She said with a smile.

"Don't say that." I said quickly. "Don't- don't say that." I looked back up at her and her smile faltered for a second, and only a second.

"Leda I need to tell you something." I stood and walked over to the side of her bed. She moved over a little so I could at least lean on the bed a bit.

"What is it?" I said through the lump in my throat.

"I lied. I made it all up, what I told everyone. They know what it is." I raised my eyebrow. "It's cancer Leda." I let out a breath of everything in my chest, leaving me feeling even more empty than before. Cancer. "Leda I'm scared." She began to sob. I couldn't even say anything. I just hugged her and let her cry into me. Cancer. Fucking cancer. How did this happen? How long has she known? Did she even know before? Fucking fuck. Cancer. "I'm so fucking scared."

"I- you can beat it right? You can do like chemo and other stuff and you can-"

"Leda I have a week. Maybe two." She sobbed. "If I'm lucky."

"No there has to be something you can do, something we can do we can-"

"Leda," She looked up at me. "There's nothing else left." As the realisation hit me I felt tears in my eyes. I took a small shallow breath.

"Oh." And then I started to cry. And I mean ugly cry. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. One of my best friends had cancer. One of my best friends was going to die. And Ben. I couldn't stop thinking about Ben. How he would react - when he could finally come visit her. How he would feel when she was gone. We both cried until we could not cry anymore, and I climbed into her hospital bed. I pulled the sleeves of my sweater over my fingers and crossed my arms. She leaned her head on my shoulders.

"What do you think he's gonna say?" I thought about it. I just got pregnant with someone Denis hates. I am not dying. His ex girlfriend did not attempt to murder me. I am not dying. And Denis is already in this shape. In a hospital? And what do I think Ben is gonna say? How can I even begin to comprehend that?

"I have no clue. But I know one thing." She looked up at me. "He'll never leave your side. When he gets here, he's not leaving for a second."

"You think so?" She sighed, and rested her head on my shoulder again.

"Of course, Ciara. Of course. He loves you with all his heart. You're his world. He's gonna stay with you. Until the end." Neither of us said anything for a long time. After an hour of us just sitting in each other's company, the doctor came in and said I should let Ciara sleep. I could stay or go if I wanted to.

"You can go." She said. "Go home and sleep. You need it girl. I'll be alright."

"Are you sure?" She smiled and nodded. "Okay. I'll come back tomorrow." I smiled and hugged her tightly before leaving. I let the tears fall as I was walking down the hall to the elevator. And I saw him. Ben. He stopped running when he saw me.

"Leda- what- hi?" I wiped my face quickly before he could see the tears.

"Oh, hi." I forced a smile. I knew what he was walking into. I couldn't keep my smile up for long.

"What's wrong?"

"Call me later okay? I gotta go." I just hugged him as tightly as I possibly could before I felt the tears coming again, and I walked away quickly into the elevator. I cried leaving the hospital, and I cried on the cab ride home, and I cried in the elevator, and then I cried into my pillow. Ciara. Ciara. One of my best friends. Ciara was going to die. "Two weeks, if I'm lucky." She had two weeks to live. What was I supposed to do.

"Leda? What's wrong?" Cameron said into the phone. I just cried some more. "I'm on my way." She hung up and got to my house in under ten minutes. "Leda what is it? What's wrong?" She said more worried than I'd ever seen her.

"It's Ciara."

I CRIED WHILE WRITING THIS I HATE MYSELF B Y E