The Purple Bandit

Meet Your Inmates

I am sentenced to a year in prison for assault. Listen, I never assaulted that girl. She's a brat who thinks she can get what she wants. She needs to be arrested for vandalism.

The officers threw me in a cell after taking my headshots. They didn't even get my name right.

Name: Joshua Akkerman
Age: 18
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Brown
Race: Hispanic

It's Ackerman. Not Akkerman.

There was a bunk bed with plain sheets, but no pillows. I could already tell that the beds were very uncomfortable.

I was about to lay down when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I quickly turned around and saw a man about my height.

"They said I wasn't going to have an inmate," he complained.

I stared at him. I have never seen anyone like him before. He had long purple hair with black roots where it was growing out, two lip piercings and one eyebrow and nose piercing. He was very pale and muscular.

"Who are you?" I ask in fear.

"Well, tell me who you are," he demanded.

"I'm Josh Ackerman," I answer.

"Kristofor," he answered. "But call me Kris."

"Kris, what are you in for?" I asked.

"I stole a chocolate bar," he answered.

"Um."

"I'm just kidding!" He laughed. "I killed my sister."

"What?!" I couldn't believe that I was going to bunk with a murderer.

"Yeah, and then I went to college for two months. I killed everyone in my dorm," Kris explained.

"Okay, I'm just going to back away," I reply.

"I don't have any weapons on me," Kris responded. "They burned my stuff because it was too 'obscene'."

"What did you have?"

"It doesn't matter anymore." Kris looked out through the bars. "I'm in here for 35 years."

"35?! And you haven't come up with an escape plan?" I asked.

"Well, of course not. No one likes me in here, in America. Everyone knows me as the purple bandit," he said.

"You're The Purple Bandit?!"

The Purple Bandit is probably the most well-known criminal in America, specifically here, in Nevada. He is known for random murder sprees in local cities. When I heard that he was finally caught and arrested, I jumped in pride. But now I'm stuck with him for a year.

But this guy was going to be 70 years old when he's finally a free man, and I was going to be long gone. This place can't be that bad for a year, right?

"Anyway, lunch is in about an hour. Some people like to get to the cafeteria early. Do you want to go?" Kris asked me.

"Wait, how do you know that lunch starts in about an hour?" I asked.

"There's a clock right there." Kris nodded at the wall.

"Yeah, I'll have lunch."

~~~

I was expecting some omelettes, soda, and maybe a cupcake. What they had was fried butter. Fried butter! Whose sick idea was this? It's basically just a stick of fat!

"I'm lactose intolerant," Kris told the lunch lady, and she gave him a fruit salad with green beans on the side.

Kris and I sat at a nearby table.