My Life As An Escort (The Beginning) Book 1 ~ (Completed)✅.

Chapter Forty-Five- Emotions Taking Over

"Nice view," he said standing beside the huge window. He turned around and took off his mask.

The same handsome face I have thought about so many times was staring back at me. So many emotions came forward, but the worst one was anger. I had missed him so much and not seeing him had become a part of the norm, but something just didn't feel right tonight.

"Why are you here?"

"I received an invitation."

"It's been almost nine months and no word from you and then you show up tonight."

"I've missed you."

"Yeah right! Do you honestly think I believe you? What am I boo boo the fool?" I leaned back against the door.

"I've missed our banter," he said smiling coyly.

"Are you staying? I have other guests to attend too."

"No, I leave in four hours and I won't be back for a while. The pipeline is being built and I have to stay to make sure it's built correctly."

"How long will that take?"

"About two years."

"Two years!" I shouted. He nodded his head.

"How long have you been in town?" I asked with my hands on my hips.

"Three days."

My eyes widen. "Wow and you didn't even call. I guess your girlfriend has you on lockdown. You need to hurry back before she starts to panic," I said pointing my finger and rolling my eyes.

"I don't have a girlfriend and why are you so mad? This attitude goes deeper than me not calling. I thought you would've been happy to see me."

"Yell no! You up and left. Not one single word to tell me you would be gone for months." I said poking him in his chest.

"Ouch! I'm sorry," he said with his hands raised.

"Yeah you are!"

He looked at me strange. His eyebrows bunched up.

"You're right Paul it's more than a phone call. I'm so fucking stupid. Here I am waiting on a man that is not even interested. I should have learned my lesson a long time ago." I felt my eyes stinging.

Shit that wasn't suppose to come out. Damn it! Me and my big ass diarrhea mouth! I held my head down and shook my head walking away.

"Cad?"

"You were just suppose to be a client to me. Lilly warned me but I don't listen. Clients come and go so I had just written you off and I was fine somewhat. I figured I would eventually get over you. I didn't think I would ever see you again and then you come tonight. You came to fuck with my head, but you know what? A good stiff dick comes a dime a dozen. You are just one of many."

I shook my head. I was so freaking pissed at myself.

"There is this guy. He is good to me. Treats me like a queen and he loves me. He accepts me and all my faults," I smiled.

"But then I was so excited when I saw you tonight Paul. But then I walked into this room and saw the man behind the mask, I became angry."

"I didn't mean...," he said as I held up my hand for him to stop.

"Let me finish." He nodded.

"Then I questioned myself why am I here with you instead of getting on a plane to Germany to be with him? Because of you I can't even tell him I love him back because you stand in the way and it makes me want to hurt you, but I can't." I shook my head and smoothed my slightly sweaty hands down my dress.

"But you know what the real problem is? I'm a sucka for punishment and you have taken a piece of me that I can't give to him. I understand you have a job but you could have at least called me or told me I was wasting my time. I was worried about you. I considered you far more than a friend."

"I can't love you like you need to be loved, but I do care for you."

"No you don't."

"Don't do this Cad."

"Do what Paul?"

"Make this harder than it has to be. This just isn't our time."

"Fuck you Paul. I'm outta here." I turned the knob and I was stopped by two strong arms.

"Don't worry I will." He whispered in my ear and moved back.

I whipped my head around almost giving myself whiplash. "Ugh! I hate you!" I said as I gripped the door knob.

"No you don't, please just stay."

"Why should I stay? You been gone for months with no communication. I know you have my private number."

"I dialed it so many times. I can't get attached to you because you are my weakness and I can't afford to have a weakness. This project has taken up my whole life and it's the opportunity I have been waiting on for years. I haven't seen my family in months AND YOU ARE NOT APART OF MY PLAN!"

I jumped at his words. How is it he's angry at me? He brushed his hair back and let me go letting out a deep breath.

"Sorry," he said wiping his face. "I didn't mean to yell.

"Sorry for what? Telling the truth!"

"It wasn't suppose to come out like that. I've missed you. I know you have a lot going on with your sisters and school and you need to focus."

"What a way to change the subject."

"Cad please. I didn't come here to fight with you."

"Then what's the real reason you came?" My breathing had picked up. I was so furious at him right now.

"I really wanted to see you, feel you, and be with you." He said holding his hand out.

I looked at him and his hand like he was crazy.

"I'm sure your Arabic princess keeps you warm at night. Do you think she would be jealous if she knew you were here with your slut? By the way did you turn in your medical papers?"

"Cad, stop it!"

"Look if you want to fuck me, you paid for it. Let's just get this over with so I can continue with my night."

He took one step over to me and grabbed my hands and put them above my head.

"Stop it, before I ball gag you. This bitchy attitude is not you. If you are trying to piss me off it's working and its fucking turning me on too. Why can we just enjoy each other tonight? Say what you need to say because I want it all out in the open." His eyes moved back and forth almost making me want to wrapped my legs around his waist.

I looked away. What did I want to say? Oh I've missed you Paul and I think about you all the time. That I have deep emotional feelings for two men and why can't I have you both? Why can't you want me like I want you? Shit I'll be damn! Why didn't he just stay his sexy ass overseas. I want Evan but I also want him! My life fucking sucks right now!

He kissed me on my neck and I could feel myself blushing. Do not give into him. Think about people in hell wanting ice water.

"Ah," escaped my lips. Damn, fuck, shit! Fight Cad, fight!!!! His lips were just too tantalizing.

"Talk to me, sweetheart."

"I have nothing to say." I turned my head towards the window.

He raised his brow. "You were just doing a lot of talking a few seconds ago."

I kept my face turned to the window.

"By the way, good job on handling the frat boys."

I turned and looked up at his blue eyes. "You saw that?" My eyes nearly pop out my head. He did follow me.

"Yeah, and I'm sure Langston will deliver punishments if your instructions are not followed." He had that sexy, stupid, pissing me off smirk across his face.

"What do you know about handing out punishments?"

"Who do you think taught Langston? I have been a Dom since I was eighteen. I could break you if I wanted too."

I gulped. The intensity in his eyes spoke volumes of truth. I could see myself tied up naked and him giving me all kinds of punishment in those eyes. I had to blink to refocus. He was right up on me and I was resisting the urge to kiss him. I had control tonight and if he didn't watch out, I could be delivering a punishment to him.

"I am the Mistress, I run shit tonight."

He laughed. What fucking humor did he see in that statement? I wanted to slap that damn grin off his face.

"That shit won't work on me. Whatever bullshit or potion Langston gave you won't work on me. You have to believe in it and I don't."

I squinted my eyes. Damn him to hell!

"Should I punish you Cadence? Is that what you want? Just say the words and I will take you down there and show you who you are truly dealing with."

Those blue eyes were giving me fair warning. He stared me down from my eyes to my lips. My breath caught in my chest. He leaned over and kissed me. He deepened the kiss as he removed one of his hands and unzipped my dress.

"You didn't answer me. If this is not enough, I can take you down there and show you my true colors. Just say it. Or do you want me to play the submissive and you can take your anger out on me," he whispered the last part in my ear. His hot breath against my flushed skin screamed to be touched.

Why was my anger slowly dissipating?

I wrapped my arms around him. "I'm angry because you have been gone for so long and I thought you forgot about me. I thought you wouldn't come back."

"I could never forget about you," he said.

"It's a lie but it's okay. You can just show me.

"It's not a lie. I have to be honest with you. I want you in the worst way. We just can't be together in that way right now. We are on two different paths. I'm not ready for a serious commitment or a family. I consider you more than a friend. I have deep feelings for you but if you are ready for a commitment I can't give it to you now."

"So this is goodbye."

"It doesn't have to be. Look at me Cadence." He pulled my chin towards him as I tried to look away. I will not cry. I will not cry.

I looked back up at him. I couldn't read his face. He seemed as if he was fighting something in his head.

"I don't want to."

"Why?"

"Because if I do I will fall and it doesn't matter if you want me or not I will give you what you want."

He leaned his forehead against mine.

"I don't want you upset or mad with me. I don't want us to leave here angry. Don't cry. I don't want to ever see you cry. You're my girl."

He kissed me and I kissed him back with everything I had. He deepened it and I lost all control. If this would be the last time I would give him something he would never forget.

He slid off my dress as it stopped at my waist and slowly undid my strapless bra as it fell to the floor. He picked my hair up and pushed it to the side. "Still beautiful as ever," he whispered against my neck.

He kissed me on my neck and worked his sizzling lips against my throat. My body was heating up as his tongue left a blazing trail around my chin back up to my lips.

"Ah, um," I said as he tore the remainder of my dress off. The four thousand dollar dress was now useless. He kissed me starting from my breasts all the way down to my stomach as he placed butterfly kisses over my stomach. Between his lips and tongue he kissed every inch of me as if he was memorizing every nick and cranny of my body.

He moved down and kissed in between my thighs as my back arched off the door. I grabbed at his hair as my fingertips glazed his scalp.

He leaned back and slid his hands down my legs. He looked up at me with such intensity that I almost had an orgasm.

The only thing I had on was the stockings and my high heels. He stood up and brought me up to him and wrapped his arms around me. I looked up and those blue eyes had turned dark. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him and then he threw me on the bed while my shoes slipped off and hit the floor.

He quickly stripped his clothes off and crawled in the bed like a lion on the prowl. I opened my legs and he kneeled in front of me. With his fingers he traced down my chest and played with my harden nipples.

"I had every intention on throwing you on this bed and fucking you until you begged me to stop. But you are right nine months is a long time. Things change, people change. When I saw you walk through the crowd, I saw something different in you. You weren't that same shy girl in that white dress but a mature woman."

"I have changed. I am dealing with my demons. I think you own a part of me. I've tried to deny myself for so long, that I didn't want you."

"I can't give you what you truly want at this time. I wish I could sweetheart."

"Somehow I knew that deep down," I said tracing his lips with my finger as he opened his mouth and sucked on it.

"But I do want you Cad. You truly have been on my mind and I really have missed you. Let me show you."

He leaned over and kissed me. I got those butterflies in my stomach as he rolled me over on top of him. He squeezed my breasts as he ran his fingers across the harden buds. Moans escaped from both our lips as I felt his hardness between my legs.

He reached up and twisted my hair around his hand and pulled my lips to his. The kiss was so gentle as he trailed kisses down my neck. In one swift move, I arched my back and gave him full access to my chest. With each kiss of my heavy globes he sucked and blew cool air upon them making them tight and hard. The more he did it the hotter I got.

"Paul please don't stop," I said. He almost had me in a backbend as he kissed me between my breasts. I rested on his arm as his other hand eased down my body. His fingers sent tingles down my spine as each finger released tell tell signs that this wasn't going to be rushed.

He lifted me up and turned me around. On my hands and knees I crawled over as he ran his hand across my back and down my ass straight inside my wet quivering folds. With the first finger he massaged the inside of me. I moaned as I gripped the covers.

"Damn even after all this time your body still responds to my touches," he said surprised. "So fucking wet, just the way I like it."

He took one quick taste and kissed me on my rear and slapped it. The sensation of his hot tongue, his thick finger and the hard slap sent me sliding into the sheets. He continued to slap and rotate rubbing and kissing each hit. My legs had started to quiver as my body wanted more.

"Oh Gawd Paul," I begged. I could feel my orgasm starting to take form.

"Don't you cum until I tell you," he said.

I needed to obey him but this was my night.

"And you don't cum until I tell you," I said looking at him through the mirror.

"You want to play that game? You won't win," he said still massaging my walls and his eyes narrowed.

Oh yes I was.

"I will make you a deal. For tonight I will give you whatever you want. We both walk out here winners. You go back to Dubai a happy man and I move on," I said moving my body until I was sitting up on my hurting ass.

He looked at me confused and shocked. He was the one to admit that he couldn't give me what I needed. A piece of me held on to him thinking all this time that maybe he did want me, but he didn't. So this was a final goodbye and I was going to do my job.

"I don't plan on doing this for the rest of my life, Paul. But for the rest of your stay I'm yours. If you want me.

Something passed in his eyes that I wasn't sure of. "I could never turn you down," he said.



Paul POV

When I had first arrived at the mansion, my focus was on finding her. I saw Langston and gave him a note to give to her for later. Moments later I saw her. She had looked different but not in a bad way. Langston had led her to the podium as she spoke. Langston had looked across the audience and he smiled at me and that's when I knew he had probably given her a concoction of of his.

I followed her through the crowd as men touched her only to be rejected. It was exciting to see her work the crowd. When she headed to the dungeon my heart picked up. I thought she had gotten a glimpse of me and was leading me there. I gave her a chance to get down and settled. I had walked down until I saw her role playing as a teacher.

I sat in the private room and watched her. She played the role expertly and the only thing I could think about was chaining her up and giving her everything her heart desired. I could see it in her face, something was missing. I continued to watch until frat boy grabbed her from behind. She was caught off guard and I watched as she enjoyed it until she looked in my direction and became angry and yelled. I knew she couldn't see me but the thought of watching her had me so fucking horny I wanted her.

I looked again and she was gone. I was startled when she walked back in with Langston and two Dominatrixs. I watch the scene unfold as she gave orders. I just knew she would give into them, but she didn't. Langston reached her the note and she ran out. The one called Jacob stared at her and I wanted to punch him, but I needed to get to Cad.

I had rushed to the room I reserved only to have our interlude moved. Awe she sent me to the personal quarters. It had been nine months too long. I had seen her at the hospital with the music producer and I could see him working his way to get next to her. She was smiling at what he was saying so I left. That was the last time I saw her.

If I couldn't be with her, I would give her up so she could be happy and if it was with the music guy so be it. Yeah right, I kept telling myself.

Tonight would be the last hurrah even if I didn't want it to end. My job had taken me away for months and I would be gone for at least another year or two. I didn't want to take her away from school or her sisters. She had a good future ahead of her and I didn't want to ruin it. So the only thing I could do was let her go.

When she came to the room she had taken my breath away. No longer the woman in leather but a mature sophisticated woman and she had my full attention. She was so fucking gorgeous that all I wanted to do was strip her down and back her against the wall and make her cum twice and fuck her until we both passed out, but that didn't happen.

She had asked me why I was here and it caught me off guard. Her words had literally stung. I figured I was just a client so I had cut ties because I felt she had a hold on me and with time I would want more.

Then she gave her speech. Some mutherfucker loved her. Then why was she here with me? Then she admitted to me I had a piece of her. Damn it! I had came to say goodbye and put an end to us, but she was backing me into a corner I never saw coming.

One last time and then I would leave I told myself. I wouldn't look back. When I touched her and her body still responded to my touch I just needed .... fuck what did I need ... her. I needed her. She said I owned a part of her and I would treasure the fact she let me in. Damn why did it have to be like this? Why couldn't I own up to my feelings? Why was there such an emotional connection. I pay her for a service not to fuck up my head.

That kiss punched me straight in the gut. She told me everything I needed to know but this just wasn't the right time for us. The way her arms wrapped around me tightly and possessively I felt like she was claiming me and like a fool she was in control. At that moment I would give her anything she wanted. I had to get back in control.

I want her, I want her not. I love her, I love her not. The words repeated over and over in my head. My emotions were all over the place. No other woman had a hold on me. Just the few times I had been with her left me breathless and confused. Instead of saving her, she was trying to save me but I was a lost cause. She still had time to be happy.

She had the power if she didn't know it. Her body seemed to glow and her confidence was showing. It was so fucking attractive. Maybe Langston bullshit did work to a certain extent. Whatever it was, she had me fucking eating out the palm of her hands like some got damn lap dog.

Trying to gain some type of control I threw her on the bed. I just needed a minute to get my head straight. I took off my clothes and her eyes watched every moment as if she was fixated on what she was watching. When my pants came off she licked her lips in anticipation.

I crawled up to her as she was taking deep breaths. Her breathing had changed. Anticipation, wanting, desire is what I saw in her eyes.

Those lips were screaming to be kissed. Her breasts were tight and full I wanted nothing more than to feel her tight nubs across my tongue. When I kissed her she gave me more. I was losing my mind. The more I tasted the more I wanted. The sweat from her body, the smell of her arousal, her searing touches and fertile moans had me about to fall off the cliff.

I flipped her over trying to gain my control back. Her rear was round and firm. I wanted to see it reddened. She had taken over the power as I couldn't let it happen. I wanted to punish her for putting me in this predicament. How dare she?

I just couldn't resist. I slapped her and she moaned. I caressed her as I ran my tongue and fingers through her slick folds. She bucked against my finger as I watched the redness spread. I kissed and rubbed trying to make the pain go away. I could feel her essence surrendering. I controlled her orgasm and I wasn't ready for her to release. This would be her true punishment.

"Don't you cum until I tell you," I said.

"And you don't cum until I tell you," she said.

Damn she was fucking turning me on. She started talking and eased out my grip. Damn it!!!

"I will make you a deal. For tonight I will give you whatever you want. We both walk out here winners. You go back to Dubai a happy man and I move on," she said.

I didn't want her to move on now. Who was I fooling? The more I denied her the more I wanted her. Call me selfish if you want. Now I was one of those pussy whipped guys that didn't want the girl when they could have had her but didn't want anyone else to have her. Fuck! I came here to fuck her to oblivion and now all this damn mushy girlie shit. If anyone found out about this, they would take my Dom card away.

"I don't plan on doing this for the rest of my life, Paul. But for the rest of your stay I'm yours. If you want me."

Shit! I wanted to fucking threw something. She had gotten in my head. That was a big no no.

I swallowed. She was telling me goodbye.

The only thing I could say was,"I could never turn you down."

She pulled me down as she straddled me. She kissed me as I wrapped my arms around her. I flipped her over and raised her leg. I entered her slowly. The feel of her soft folds were heaven as my eyes closed tightly. She wrapped her other leg around my waist as we kissed. Our moans echoed in the room. I felt like a coke fend. Our bodies moved as one as she arched her back. Her nails glazed my back sending delicious chills through me.

I picked up the pace as her moans got louder. The louder she moaned the more my body gave. A light sheen had formed against our bodies. I could see the red tone of her skin.

If this was heaven I didn't want to come back but in reality I had to let her go.

She moved her body giving more as I felt myself going deeper. I closed my eyes. Somehow I was standing on that cliff and I felt myself being pushed. I looked back to see her. She was crying. I opened my eyes and there she was staring back at me with tears in her eyes.

"I don't want to leave you but I want you to be happy. Cad, why does it have to be so hard to let you go?"

She smiled a half smile. She placed both hands on my cheeks and brought me to her lips. The kiss gradually got deeper as each stroked eased in and out of her. We were so wrapped up into each other that we both orgasmed and never stopped. It felt as if we could never get enough of each other.

I wasn't sure if it had been seconds, minutes or hours that had passed. Our bodies stayed connected back and forth as we each took turns giving each other what we both so desperately needed. At this point I just couldn't walk away. My gut was warning me if I walked away, she would be lost to me.

Her body was wrapped around me in a tight hold as another orgasm ripped from both of our bodies. I had lost count a while ago. This was way more then I had hoped for.

I felt like the piece of hope she had of me loving her, she was giving it back to me. This was her goodbye to me. Now I see how she felt and I didn't like it.

She looked at me with remorse in her eyes. She whispered, "I wanted to love you Paul. I tried to wait but you were right, I need to move on. I'm so sorry for being mad at you and blaming my hurt on you, that wasn't fair. I wish you well my friend." She gave me one last kiss, got up and put on a robe and left.

I raised up and sat on the edge of the bed. I felt wetness running down my face and on top of my leg. This was not suppose to be this hard. Why couldn't I just man up? Once again my pride had gotten in the way. I stood up and as the mirror showed my reflection I was disappointed in myself. Did I just make one of the biggest mistakes of my life? Only time would tell.


~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well I brought Paul back. Don't hate me. She needed to close another chapter in her life for the next one. Tell me what you think will happen?

I thinking about doing one more chapter and starting a second volume (book). This would be volume one and end the story in volume two, or should I just keep going and make it one long story. I would love to hear your thoughts. I have edited this chapter so many times that I needed to hit the publish button before I second guess myself again.

Toddles. VICMAD