I Need You

twenty two

She's avoiding me and I hate it. I need to talk to her right now.

I will not go home. What am I, stupid? That asshole will find me in the house. So I'm just gonna stay here in the hotel. Now I am not in a hotel room. I was in the cooking area! Crying with some of the maids of the hotel. Eating some freshly baked cakes.

"Oh you shouldn't talk to him anymore mam! Those kind of guys suck!" One of the maid says and I just cry and eat some more.

"I agree!" The people near me agree.

"And the worst is, what if he is meeting her always ever since. Especially when he is there on the training!" One of the maid says again and I just felt a little shitty again.

"No I don't think so!" This one is different. Because it's coming from one guy. A chef.

"What do you think then?" The maid asks and the chef look at me. He is actually pretty young.

"By the way, I'm Mark. One of the training chefs. Well for me, as I was listening to the situation, I think they just met after a long break. Because you know what, the girl said he wants him back." He said I just want to listen to him. Because it's like he really knows what he is saying.

"Well, I'm a guy, and I know what a girl can also feel." He said and all of the maids just look at him confused.

"Can't you get it! I'm gay!" He said and we just laugh. Hahahaha well I didn't know he is. But now I can see it. He's too cute though to be gay.

"But really gals, I don't like what the guy just did. He kissed the bitch and it's a dumb move. Why would he do that? He has a girlfriend. Oh gosh! It's making my head hurts. Guys like him are fucked up. If he really loves you Mam, he should be finding you right here." Mark said and I just sight and keep on eating some Ice Cream! But then we hear some screaming outside of the cooking area. One of the maids go and look for it. When she got it again she just scratch her head and say,

"Just some handsome guy getting mobbed by the security while shouting 'Vanessa', what's our topic again?" The maid said and my eyes pop out. And all of the maids gasped!

"What, he is shouting your name mam!" Marco suddenly chirped.

"Vanessa!" And there I saw him. Still getting mobbed by the security. But he is so tall and strong. That's why he still managed to get here. He look directly into my eyes and I just look away. The maids are now looking at him like they are not hating him awhile ago. Ohhh sometimes I hate how handsome he is.

"Oh My God! Ma'am! That's your boyfriend, is he not too big for you?" Marc said and all the maids just laugh. Well I just stand up

"Leave him guys. I can take care of him." I said and the guards leave him. So Chris smile and about to hug me. But

"Don't touch me." I said quietly but with authority. I just walked out of the cooking area and let him follow me.

"What happened love. Did I made you wait for me too long?" He ask while I was walking. But I didn't answer him. As we are walking, people are looking at me with pity while they look at Chris with monstrous look. Well I am awfully ugly right now because of crying. So I just lead him to my hotel room.

"Tell me what is happening Vanessa. Please." I kept my mouth shut

"Come on! Tell me! I know you're hurt. And I hate it." He said and I just look at him. He hates it? Oh god! I wanted to punch him.

"Can you tell me what's the real thing that happened to the gym lockers?" I ask him nicely. And he just look at me dumbfounded. He tried to hold my hands

"I said don't touch me." I said again. I don't wanna touch by him. I wanted to listen to him without any intimacy. It will just put some cloud into my head.

"That was Helena. She was my ex girlfriend. But I can explain everything. By everything, I really mean everything." It's not that I am already falling for it. But I missed him. But still I don't want some intimacy. So I just cry it a little.

"Then tell me!" I said and wait for him explain everything. I sat down to one of the couches around.

"Helena came back after 2 years. We actually never had a break up. She just flee America to Paris. To study art. But then we lost the connection. All the communications and hear that she is already dating someone. So I thought it's over. So now she came back. She thought I still love her. But Vanessa you are the one that I really love right now. Believe me!" I want to believe him but, what is it that I saw. So I look into his eyes. And ask him

"But why do you have to kiss her?" As I said it he smiles at me and it's not okay for me.

"Because I wanted to check if she can still make me feel something more than a kiss. But it doesn't Vanessa. That was the time I made myself sure that you really are the one I needed." He said that without breaking into our eye contact. And the sincerity is real.

"Say something Vanessa." He asks and I just look at him.

"Maybe you really are telling the truth. But I don't think I am ready Chris. I wanted to hold you, kiss you and hug you, trust me. But still something is stopping me. I think we need some space."