Silent As The Dark―A Novelette

Communication Skills

My eyelids flutter open, I become conscious slowly, my room comes into focus and I remember last night, my mom said she had to leave early for a meeting. I turn my head over to my alarm clock and see that it's eight, ten.

Wait, eight-ten school starts in half and hour! I throw my cover to the side and I put my hearing aids in and turn them on then, Why didn't my alarm go off? I frantically run to the bathroom, I run my toothbrush under the sink quickly. I swipe my toothbrush over my teeth and throw it on the sink I grab a washcloth and wet it, I wipe my face off as I'm heading back into my room. I go through my closet finding a pair of jeans a white button down shirt and a dark purple sweater. I quickly change and stand in-front of my mirror. I try to contain my hair in a bun it doesn't work, I settle for a knotted messed up ponytail. I look around my room and take my books from my desk, I jog to the kitchen grabbing a couple of grapes for breakfast. I then jog to the dining room I pick my book-bag up from off the dining room chairs and sling it over my shoulder. I grab my copy of the keys and head out the door, locking it on my way out. I plan out my travel to school, the bus that gets me to Boston and then I can take a cab.

I walk two blocks ahead to the busy street, and wait at the bus stop. I check my phone for the time, eight-twenty-three. The bus comes and I get on slapping a rolled up five dollar bill into the bus driver's hand, and before I have the chance to sit down the bus is moving, I'm throw forward, and a hand catches me as I'm about to fall forward.

"Sorry," I murmur standing up. I grab onto the strap and look back at whoever caught me, he's maybe my age, he's a couple inches taller than me. His hair a light chestnut.

"Thank you," I say politely to him. He points to his ears and mouths the word deaf to me.

"Me?" I ask, not sure what he's trying to portray. He shakes his head 'no' and points to himself. Oh he's deaf.

"Me too," I sign. He looks at my ears, and signs, "No you're not,"

"I W-I-L-L be," I sign forgetting the sign for will I finger spell it.

He moves his mouth as if to say 'oh'.

"How?" he signs.

I realize I don't know how to answer, because I don't know sign language. He signs something I don't understand. I just politely nod, fading out of the conversation, how am I going to keep up with everyone, they're so fast. Even yesterday at school I wasn't watching my teacher's hands I was listening, I depend too much on these hearing aids. I look around and realize everyone's staring at us. My cheeks go red with embarrassment. Why are they staring? Is it because he's deaf? Is it because he's signing. A woman with copper red hair stares at us with a disgusted look, her nose is scrunched up as if our presence smells bad. I can't take all the staring.

We get to another stop and I see a seat in the front that's freed up. I begin walking towards it when a man gets up from his seat and offers it to me. It's a disabled seat.

"Here," he yells slightly pointing rapidly at the seat.

I furrow my eyebrows in frustration I am not disabled. Am I? No I'm just as smart and capable as I was before, I'm just hard of hearing.

"I'm fine," I say. The man briefly looks shocked that I can talk and he sits back down. I get to the seat towards the front. I sit down and take out my phone and earbuds. I try to put my earbuds in but the crash into my hearing aids. Oh yeah I have hearing aids. I put my earbuds in my pocket, embarrassed.

I hear the ding of the next stop then look up on the map to see that we are at my stop. I get up from my seat and crash into the boy. He places his hands on my shoulders steadying me again. Our gazes briefly meet and then I look away shyly. We both get off the bus we stroll slowly to a busy street, I let my worry of being late slip through my mind. He must go to my school too.

"What's your name?" I ask, forgetting for a second he can't hear me. All of the sudden I feel horrible, I attempt to sign it but fail.

"W-Y-A-T-T" he finger spells. Oh, he understood me. He must've read my lips. Then he signs, "or learn with a w" I make his name sign shyly.

"Good!" he signs enthusiastically.

"You?" he signs.

"E-M-M-A-L-I-N-E," I spell out, though I almost forget the sign for 'n'

His hands move quickly and I can only make out one work 'you' he's signs so quickly. I look around frantically as if there will be a solution right on the ground.

"Slow!" I sign frantically, then I recall the signs for 'I don't understand' I sign that to him too. He slows down so I can read his signs. I still don't understand. I shrug my shoulders and he shrugs his as if to say never mind, looking a bit disappointed.

We get to the street and I hail a cab. The cab stops in front of me. I don't know what to do. Do I offer Wyatt a ride? I just met him though. I end up signaling for him to get in.

"Thank you," he signs getting in. I follow in after him.

I give our schools address to the cab driver, and he drives a few blocks. He stops in front of the main building. Wyatt pulls out his wallet and pays the driver. I try to tell Wyatt that I can pay, but then I discover yet another thing I can't sign.

"Thank you," I sign as we get out of the cab.

We jog into the building and take off in our opposite directions towards class.

☾  ☽

"What'd you do at school today?" My mom asks.

"Met some people," I say.

"I got a call that you were late," she says looking over her shoulder at me. She's peeling a potato which makes her look significantly less intimidating.

"I, uh overslept," I say. Which is almost the whole truth, I overslept and then had a conversation with a Wyatt which is probably the reason I was actually late, but she doesn't know that.

"This is why I have to be here in the morning," she laughs. I laugh nervously along with her trying to not give myself away.

Today, was significantly better than yesterday. Today was, good, but I can't shake the feeling of not belonging, part of me thought the moment I arrived at Horrance Mann I would be accepted, but I've never felt so far away from my peers. I'm too hearing to be deaf. I know too little sign language to hold a decent conversation, but I'm also not hearing. I get all the disadvantages of being deaf, the social stigma, the stereotypes, and of course, the hearing loss, but I don't get the language, or the community, or the good parts. It's like I have one foot in both worlds.