"Hey!" Jeremy said picking me up in a tight hug and spinning me around oblivious to Jack standing in front of me. "Jer, put me down!" I laughed and I watched Jack take a huge step back onto Brooks feet. Brooks looked like he wanted to hit Jack but instead he just gently pushed him off, Jack mumbled sorry under his breath and then looked at me. "I promise you will change your mind by the time this tour is over." He ran off laughing creepily.
"What was that about?" Derek's voice brought me back to reality for a moment. "Oh... He was urm... To be honest I don't know." Everyone chuckled but me, I was scared to be honest, I didn't know how far Jack was willing to go to have me. I watched as everyone got talking about nothing in particular and slowly drifted back to the past.
"Mummy..." I screamed as I watched my step-dad hit her with immense strength. Blood poured out of her nose at a rapid speed and I ran over to her. He jumped in front of me blocking me from helping her. "Leave her alone." My mum said, her voice was broken and she was crying. "I will if she leaves us alone and promises to keep her mouth shut."
"No. I want my mum." I screamed, I was scared as I was a thirteen year old going up against someone who was over twenty years older then me. "Fuck you then." He said as he lashed out and hit my head. My neck clicked as I went flying backwards into the table. My head hit the table with great force and I tried not to cry. As I lay on the floor he walked over with a bloodthirsty smile on his face and kicked me. I cried out for my mum to help but she just sat there watching. He kicked me in the ribs and then I got up and ran into my room struggling for breath.
I collapsed onto the floor in floods of tears. I heard my mum and step-dad walk back downstairs acting like nothing happened. More and more tears poured out of my eyes like a Tsunami. I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around me and hushing me. I looked up into the beautiful eyes in front of me and rested my head on his shoulder. "Jack." I cried not wanting him to get hurt either. "Fran, what's happened?" He asked stroking my hair, I took a deep breath and sighed as I said "I'm just having a bad day." He hugged me tighter and suddenly everything felt alright.
I woke up wrapped into my bed and saw Jack playing my guitar sitting on the floor. I smiled and looked at him, he looked like every teenagers dream boy. "Jack." I sighed sitting up right and he looked at me smiling. "You awake?" He asked and I rolled my eyes. "Nah, I am asleep!" I moaned and he laughed. "How you feeling?"
"Alright, thank you for earlier. I don't know what I would've done without you." I said hugging him. He reluctantly hugged me back and then pulled away smiling. I was still in absolute pain and I fell to the floor clutching my ribs. "You alright?" He asked rushing to my side. I nodded slowly and then lied through my teeth to the only person who could help me. "I just get cramps sometimes. You can go now." He nodded, kissed me on the forehead and then walked out of the door.
When I was home alone I stripped off to get in the shower. I looked at my bruised body and sighed, it made me feel sick, I was so fat and ugly and the bruises my step-dad added made me realise how ugly I looked. I looked at the cut on my head and sighed as I realised that it would probably scar. For the first time ever I bent over the toilet seat, stuck my fingers down my throat and chucked up my breakfast. I cried at the pain but when I was finished I finally felt a bit better. I could stop eating and loose weight. I jumped into the shower and cried whilst I thought about life.
"Dinners ready." Mum screamed up to me. I listened to my stomach rumble and made my way downstairs. I sat at the table and watched my mum and step-dad kiss each other, I watched my brother eat and text away. I felt my stomach grumble one more time and then I saw my flabby arms and I wanted to throw up again. I took one bite of the sausage and then sighed. "Mum, I don't feel well." I cried and she immediately came to my side. "Baby, are you not hungry?" She asked and I shook my head violently. "I feel like I am going to be sick." The whole table was watching me now and I sighed. "Go to bed, you can eat later if your hungry." She said hugging me and I gladly walked upstairs, bent over the toilet once again and made myself throw up. It was easier then the first time but still hurt a lot.
"Fran?" I heard De ask frantically, I wiped my cheek as I realised I was crying standing there in front of the boys. I ran off crying my eyes out and sprinted back to the caravan where I chucked myself down in front of the toilet and did what I did best. I made myself sick, every last calorie came flying out of me and I collapsed down in a pile on the floor.
"Fran?" I heard Derek ask from somewhere in the caravan. I quickly locked the door, flushed the toilet and then brushed my teeth. I walked back out there and was faced by Derek and Brooks. "Sorry." I said, I just wanted to be alone. "Do you want to be alone?" Derek asked and Brooks hit him gently. I nodded and watched as he walked over and hugged me. "You'll be alright. I'm just over the road if you need me... or brooks." He added Brooks name reluctantly and then pulled him out of the van. I walked into my room and collapsed onto my bed staring at the white painted ceiling trying not to cry.
Three years clean had gone to waste. Three years of trying to hold it down so hard and I just started up again. Three years wasted, the amount of calories I must have put on during those three years... I couldn't bare to think about it.
